


Damaged Goods

by Finality2020



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Other, Sorry Gary-Stans!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 58,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22658245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finality2020/pseuds/Finality2020
Summary: Gary and Cara (MC) have married. Lucas is now post-Villa, post-being Gary's best person, but still very much not over the events of a year ago.
Relationships: Bobby/Lucas (Love Island), Gary/Hannah (Love Island), Gary/Main Character (Love Island), Henrik/Lucas (Love Island), Ibrahim/Jo (Love Island), Ibrahim/Main Character (Love Island), Lucas/Main Character (Love Island), Lucas/Shannon (Love Island)
Comments: 241
Kudos: 115





	1. The Best of Friends Often Deliver the Worst News

The sound of the phone, turned up to max volume the night before, cut through the semi-doze Lucas had finally fallen into, after tossing and turning most of the night. He groaned out loud and groped his hand over the deep burgundy satin pillowcase on the pillow next to him until his hand found the phone and pulled it over. Squinting at it, the name took a moment to penetrate his brain.

  
“Why the hell is Shannon calling me? At 2 a.m.?” he muttered as he contemplated a brief second letting it go to voice mail. Then realizing that Shannon had never called him at 2 a.m. before, even though they talked a lot the last few months on the phone, he figured he should get it. Shannon rarely acted without fully thinking through all possible courses of action and deciding on one as the best possible one. 

  
“Lucas here. Everything ok, Shannon?” he could feel the warmth that he felt for her come through in his voice. He did have a slightly panicked feeling that maybe something wasn’t right. 

  
“Everything’s fine with me Lucas. But, I wanted to call and give you a heads up. The media might be bothering you again soon.” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Whatever has happened now?” he growled in a low voice.

He had finally gotten out of the media loop after the messy Blake break-up, her short lived hook up with Jakub, the interviews he had to give after being Gary’s best person in his wedding to Cara, and those questions had been nightmarish. He had a brief memory of one persistent gossip blogger asking him in Instagram comments on wedding pictures, private messaging him, emailing him and calling him, to ask in all those formats if he could go back and stick instead of switching, would he? As if that was an appropriate thing to stick in headlines in time for Gary and Cara’s wedding! 

  
“Well,” Shannon’s voice actually was slightly hesitant. He wondered if she knew whatever bomb she was about to drop would set his temper off. She’d been there once or twice when he’d let his rage consume him and turn him from the normal polished veneer he liked to show people. Shannon rarely hesitated to tell him things, no matter how hard they might be to hear. It’s one of the many things he’d grown to love about having her in his life, as a close friend and travel buddy. “Hannah’s book has come out.”

  
“I don’t really see a problem with that. Hannah and I weren’t in the villa at the same time. We barely have spoken at any of the gatherings.”

“It’s not about you. It’s about Cara.” Shannon paused the briefest of seconds before saying Cara’s name. She was the only one he’d ever even come close to hinting how he felt about Cara.

  
Lucas took a deep breath, composing himself so that his voice came out even. “What is Hannah saying about Cara? I know it can’t be anything that Cara has done, as it would have come out already in an interview or caught on camera.”

  
Shannon sighed. There was a pause. “Look, there’s a small chance it actually doesn’t affect Cara at all. But, everyone will think it does. You know how hints are dropped and people jump to conclusions? They don’t gather all the facts and people end up hurt.” Her voice went a little tight and Lucas knew she still felt regret about her own time in the Villa. 

  
“Shannon. Would you please, just tell me what is the issue? Why will the media be contacting me about this?”

  
“Alright. So, Emily messaged me at about 11:30. She had gotten Hannah’s book, as soon as it went on sale. She possibly even pre-ordered it. She read it all today. She told me I had to get the e-book and skip to the last chapter like NOW. I actually was a little irritated because I had plans to play in an online poker game with an American buddy, but she was so insistent. So, I downloaded it. But, I wanted to see what came before the last chapter so I decided to start in the book where Hannah details life post-Villa.” 

She stopped talking for a moment. Lucas swallowed his impatience before he snapped at her. He just sat in silence, waiting. His fingers rubbed across the dark gray duvet cover, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles. After a moment, she began talking again. Later, he sometimes remembered this moment, the feel of the fabric under his fingertips, the silence surrounding him. It was the moment before, he sometimes thought. The moment before everything in his world tilted. Again.

  
“I am really sorry Lucas for calling this late. I now wish I had just skipped ahead. But, I wanted to know the background for the last chapter. It ended up being irrelevant though.”

  
“It’s okay, Shannon, I know you wouldn’t have called if this wasn’t immediately relevant to my or your own situation.” He reassured her. She often came across so confident, people didn’t realize that she was always trying to smooth herself the easiest path, the path with the least conflict. 

She blew out a breath, then continued. “So the last chapter takes place at Gary and Cara’s wedding. At first, you think it’s just Hannah being Hannah and living in the romance of the moment. It feels like it’s leading to the fact that love was found even if she didn’t find love herself, considering Elijah ran off with Arjun three weeks after the final. But, no, that isn’t where she’s heading at all. So, in her book, the ceremony and reception are done. In fact, it’s about 4 a.m. in the morning after. She’s out wandering about, in the book she says she was thinking about the twists and turns of real life often being more intriguing than the very best fiction, typical Hannah shit. She says she’s in the elevator, when it opens and “he” steps in. She never names this person, so you know she wanted it to be a shocker, so she kept it just vague enough to have plausible deniability and not need to clear it with anyone that’s in it. It’s a smart move, and the theorizing and gossip it generates will definitely sell her way more copies. But, she also at the same time subtly made it very, very clear who it was, through things on her Twitter feed and ways she described things.” 

Lucas felt his temper rising at Shannon’s digression, but he touched each finger to his thumb, first on his left hand, then on his right, while slowly counting to ten. When he trusted himself to speak, he broke in; “Shannon. What happened in the elevator? What did “he” do? And who does she make it clear it is?”

  
“Oh right, sorry. Lucas, you need to stay calm when you hear this. It’ll help us figure out what course of action is best. Okay?”

  
“Shannon. Just. Tell. Me.” He bit off each word.

  
“Hannah ended up having sex against the wall of the elevator after telling ‘him’” Lucas could hear the air quotes Shannon was probably making as she said it; “that she knew it was the wrong time to say it but she just absolutely had to tell him how she felt. He said he had been wondering forever what it’d be like to kiss her, and while he knew it was also the wrong time, and he shouldn’t, Hannah then said she went for it. Kissed him. Next thing she knew he had her up against the elevator wall, and it was a ‘passion filled experience’” Lucas heard the air quotes again; “She said afterwards he buried his face in her hair and said that while he knew he should absolutely regret this, he just couldn’t. She ends the chapter with talking about how her transformation is now complete. She started her Love Island experience a naive caterpillar who absolutely believed in love and doing the right thing and now she was a butterfly, who had learned that romantic love is often a farce and that she ultimately holds the power to destroy lives.”

“Jesus. Did she get Rahim in that elevator? Is she hoping she can break him and Jo up?”

  
“Lucas. How would that affect you? I would definitely not have called if it was Rahim!” Shannon’s voice went up an octave. “Please just keep listening.” She took another breath and continued. “Emily also told me when I had finished reading it, to go to her Twitter account. I did. She tweeted all day about different parts of the book. When she got to talking about the last chapter, she said that her ending was the proof that a perfect love story doesn’t exist in real life, that it’s just a dream for the pages of a novel. She said that she had finally, fully, learned that it’s definitely not Friend Island. She said if she had gone by “girl code”, she’d never have had the best sex of her life. Then said he still texts her late at night when anyone else around him would be asleep. She said on Twitter that she could explode the lives of so many people if she ever revealed his identity. She used a devil emoji and a winking emoji on that statement. Think, man! She’s never been friends with Jo. Who was she friends with??”

  
Lucas felt his stomach twist into knots. He felt the order around him dissolving as Shannon’s last words sunk in. He felt his breaths coming in quicker and shorter.

  
“Lucas? Lucas, you need to take a deep breath. Do your finger thing again, I’ve noticed you do it when upset. You need to keep calm.” 

Lucas began counting fingers to thumbs, while struggling to slow his breaths and inhale deeply on each finger as his thumb touched it. When he felt like he was close to breathing normally again, he finally spoke.

  
“Are you telling me, that Gary took Hannah against an elevator wall on the night of his very own wedding? To a different woman?” 

  
“That’s what Hannah heavily implies, yes. But maybe it’s someone else. Or she’s exaggerated for book sales. We don’t know for sure. But, it’s what everyone will assume. You know exactly what that means.”

  
Lucas groaned. He did know. All the history would be trotted out again. His taking Cara from Gary at, what the public called “the disaster recoupling”, his deciding that maybe he shouldn’t get in the way of Cara and Gary and should switch to Blake. The obvious pain Cara had felt seeing it. His role as Gary’s best person. The picture of Cara and Lucas on the dance floor at the reception that someone had taken and then sold to a gossip magazine, where it looked like there was something there, but really he had just been congratulating her and letting her know her friendship meant so much to him. But, he couldn’t even focus fully on that part of it. He heard his own voice from that dance echoing back at him “Tell Gary if he ever hurts you, he’ll have an enemy for life”. He knew if the Blake thing had hurt her the way it did, how would this Hannah revelation destroy her? His heart ached for her, for what she would have to endure, just as it seemed she had her Happily Ever After ending.

  
Shannon’s voice cut into his thoughts. “That’s not all, Lucas. The things people will think prove it. I decided to check on Cara’s Twitter after looking at Hannah’s. It’s gone, Lucas. She’s deleted her Twitter account. And, well, I think you need to look at her Instagram account.”

Lucas pulled his Ipad from his nightstand, waking it up, before opening Instagram. He didn’t need to go far to find Cara’s Instagram account. He’d never tell anyone this, but he looked at it every day. Before now, it had been filled of pictures of her with different girls from the Island, including a close up at the wedding, her face squished between Hannah and Lottie’s, all of them laughing hard. There had been shots of her trying on outfits Priya had designed, holding up the pug, mug, and rug that Chelsea had gotten for her, even though she had chosen Rahim to be her best person. Pictures of her and Gary at home, hands held, hugging, holding sparklers, even one of her at Gary’s worksite, with a hard hat on, pointing at her head while sticking out her tongue. Now, well, now, there was just one picture. It was a picture of a reddish snake in some long grass, its head raised up a little. His heart sank.

“Oh no. Poor Cara.” were the only words he could say, coming out in a slow exhale, almost a whisper.

  
“Exactly. Poor Cara.” Shannon’s voice echoed.


	2. The Bite of MIddle of the Night Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what happened to make Lucas choose Blake? Want to know how he felt and what happened next? This chapter is for you.

Lucas talked to Shannon for the next hour, going over plans for both his public response and what he should do privately. It helped Lucas immensely to have a plan whenever he was confronted by chaos. When he didn’t, it often led to weeks or months of regret and sleepless nights where he tried to go back and make plans for events already past and determine how that would have changed the outcome. During that hour, two feelings kept growing. One, his concern for Cara, which was now starting to border into full-blown panic about how she would face the media frenzy that was about to occur, what she would do about her new marriage that might now be over before it really even had a chance to begin, and how he was supposed to get a hold of her if she had gone into silent mode. Second, his words from that wedding dance kept coming back to him “he’ll have an enemy for life”, his anger towards Gary going from that stunned feeling when he put the pieces together into a rage that threatened to both take over his entire self and to cleanse him, all at the same time.

  
After hanging up with her, he laid back into his bed, lacing his hands under his neck and staring up at the ceiling. He knew he should try for sleep. His day tomorrow already had been packed with appointments at the clinic, his patient load had increased with his fame by a lot. He had been a bit surprised by the amount of older women who apparently avidly followed every Love Island episode. He’d heard a lot of opinions, greeting most with the bland, polite, smile that was his professional face. Now, his day was looking like it’d probably end up being a shit storm, with Islander group chats going crazy, the media trying to get in contact with him, and every patient with new opinions about Cara that they would just absolutely need to discuss with him. He flexed his hands under his neck, feeling his knuckles bunch up and then dig into the knots that were forming there. His thoughts were starting to circle, memories of the Villa, of Cara. He was used to this part, this was what haunted him on most of his sleepless nights. Now, there was the new twist though. Before, the circling was of the past. Now, it hinted at the future too, which before had seemed set in stone and now was a twisting vortex of possibilities. 

  
Image of the daybed the night he coupled up with Cara. Him explaining that he thought they’d had a spark and he wanted to give it a shot. Her looking up at him with a shy smile and saying she wanted to see where it could go too. The softness of her lips as she slowly parted them under the pressure of his mouth, breathing in her scent, which that day strangely hinted at so many different undertones. When he’d commented on that, she had laughed and said that Priya had been spraying everyone with different scents at the same time. He had loved that laugh, it had come right from her center. When Cara laughed, it never had a forced feel to it, never felt fake to him. He had run his hands down her sides, feeling the soft feathery texture of the white minidress she had worn that night, splaying his hands, feeling the pressure of her breast bearing down on the index finger of his left hand, and the swell of her hip under the pinky finger on his right hand. Everything had seemed possible that night. 

  
Image of Gary going for him the following morning, his callused hands gripping the collar of Lucas’s shirt, his face an inch from his face, “She’s mine, okay mate? MINE.” The smell of English breakfast tea strong on Gary’s breath. Rahim’s hands pulling on Gary’s shoulders, Bobby’s fingers restraining on Lucas’s upper arms, his Scottish accent deepening as he softly spoke in Lucas’s ear, telling him to walk away, to figure this out. While he had been in the Villa, only two people had ever been able to sense when his temper was fraying. Cara and Bobby. Lucas had long ago analyzed that Bobby was actually an excellent judge of character, he spent his time observing people, reading them. He wondered if that was why when Gary and Cara had been looking around the crowd, determining who should be their best people, Bobby had edged away from the crowd. Lucas mentally added “Call Bobby” to his list of things to get done tomorrow.

  
Image of kissing Blake in the challenge, Gary enthusiastically cheering them on, egging them to go past the thirty seconds. Blake’s slightly chapped lips making him cringe a bit, and think briefly of Cara’s soft kiss. Seeing Blake approach Gary later and pull him aside. Watching Gary put his hand on her waist and pull her in and whisper in her ear, his eyes glued to her bikini top the entire time before he turned her body slightly to the side and nudged her towards Lucas. Gary’s look of victory and a wink as Blake started walking towards him, her mouth slowly curving into a sly smile. At the time, he’d not thought of it that way, but later after watching the footage from the show of this, he knew exactly that’s what it was. Feeling the shame wash over him again that he’d been so dumb to fall for it all, to let himself get manipulated. He had been weak, and it was a feeling he hated more than anything. Looking down at Blake’s long, tapered fingers as she softly touched his arm and leaned in, her cinnamon breath tickling at his ear.

Deciding after talking to her for an hour, an hour in which she had whispered in his ear about things Cara had said to Gary in private, how happy Cara always looked while her and Gary were alone, that she had kissed Gary one night in the kitchen while coupled up with Rocco. He had felt his jealousy rise at that. Blake, raising her eyebrows, and asking in a soft whisper, “If Cara had done that once, why wouldn’t she again?”. Blake didn’t notice as he touched the fingertips of one hand to the thumb, twice, as he brought his other hand up, twining his hand in her long, dark hair, trying to ignore the rough texture of it, trying to not compare it to the way Cara’s had felt like silk against his fingertips two nights before, as he roughly pulled Blake’s face towards his and kissed her hard, his mouth claiming hers, devouring it, even as his soul whispered Cara’s name. Blake’s small sound of arousal in her throat as he kissed her like this. His thought at the time that Cara was too gentle for this, that she was too soft for him. His talking himself into letting the idea of Cara go. He’d let himself go into what he privately always thought of as “beast mode” later that night with Blake, on the daybeds outside, and she’d seemed to love every minute, further cementing his idea that he wasn’t good enough for Cara, that things he liked would shock her or make her turn away from him. 

  
Image of Gary’s knowing smirk as he dug into his eggs and sausage, the wink he sent Lucas’s way. Noah’s glare towards Lucas as he sat there with just a cup of tea, buried in a cloud of solitude that none of the new girls could penetrate. Lucas’s hands bunched into fists as he fought the shame that kept insistently tapping on his shoulder. The shame that he’d added to his number, and acted more like what he always imagined Gary acted like outside of the Villa. The feeling like he’d let himself down, again, and let Cara down. Gary’s whisper as he passed by him to take his plate to the sink, “Bet Cara’d be real interested in knowing about this”. Bobby getting up quick to wrap an arm around Gary and walk him away from the table, darting a look over his shoulder at Lucas, biting his lip in worry.

  
Image of the victorious glee on Blake’s face later when he’d said he’d be switching, mirroring Gary’s face at that moment. Taking Blake’s hand in a grip so tight that she looked at him and whispered “Easy, tiger, plenty of time for that later,” with a wink, and the assumption that it was lust causing his reaction, and not an urge to punch that look off of the crane operator’s smug face. 

  
Image of Cara’s worried face as he entered with Blake, hand in hand, his heart stopping for a brief second as he watched the worry drop off to be replaced with a look of such intense pain for the briefest of seconds before she pulled on a game face and smiled and said she was happy for him. Watching Blake’s hand as she gestured with it, while she called Cara fake and acted like her and Lucas were the next new love story of the Villa. Feeling his fingers fly fast to his thumb, counting down multiple times to keep from saying something. Meeting Cara’s eyes for a moment, hoping his apology for Blake’s actions showed in his eyes, while telling her he’d be available to talk. 

  
Image of standing next to her on the rooftop, looking out at the countryside, her hair blowing briefly against his skin, while he watched her pull together a shield and make a joke about a new nightclub where he was the VIP. His laugh rang out. He knew she was burying whatever she had really felt. He knew because he could and did do the same. He laughed more because he wanted to help her out, help her not have to expose her soul for the cameras. When she’d told him she’d have done everything the same, that he had followed her heart, he longed so badly to take her into his arms and wrap them tight around her, instead he retreated into what Shannon sometimes called his “proper gentry” persona and told her politely he’d wished he’d done the same. He allowed himself one touch of her, a squeeze of the shoulder, his fingertips telling her goodbye in a way that he could never vocalize.

  
Image of Blake sticking her tongue up his nose, and when he’d sputtered and pushed her away, her look of embarrassed rage and hissing about what a “cunt that bitch is”, his realization that Cara had told Blake this, and his laughter enraging Blake further while inside he fist pumped that Cara had finally stood up for herself, had put Blake in her place, even if it went largely unnoticed.   
Image of Cara’s brief look of sorrow his way before she chose Elijah. He knew she was doing it for Chelsea, and that she would be too proud to save him and put herself through people thinking she was a naive fool for saving him. He put his “proper gentry” face on it and wrapped an arm around Blake’s waist as they left the Villa. His speech about not being a rich boy was true for certain people in the Villa, for Cara, even though he couldn’t name her by name, for Bobby, who’d he’d heard telling Priya to lay off about how posh he was, that in here he was the same as all of us, for Hope even, who’d he been able to talk to about vacations taken and things he owned without her looking at him with wide eyes at the luxury. She’d not had the same background as him, but now that she could treat herself, she did. They had talked long about the spa they’d both visited at different times in Iceland, of all places, and the decadent luxuries, their voices rising in excitement with each one that the other listed. Then, they’d veered into a whole discussion about a dive bar they’d both found down the street from it. He’d loved being able to talk about both with no judgment about one or the other, like most people would have given him.

  
Watching on television, in between interviews, and dates with Blake that often devolved into screaming on her part and very angry sex on both their parts, as Gary picked Cara at the next recoupling, and her look of relief and joy, searing into Lucas’s heart. He watched as she finally put Lottie in her place when Henrik and Hannah returned about her obsession with Gary, and watched Hope back Cara up. He groaned as he watched Henrik try to lay the moves on her and watched carefully as she cloaked herself again in a vision of calm as Gary and Hannah eye fucked each other on her first day back. Now, in light of current events, this was even worse in retrospect than it’d been at the time. 

Image of the night of the final, as Gary and Cara emerged holding hands, hers composed as always, but her eyes dancing, the look of open joy and excitement on Gary’s face. He knew then, knew without a doubt, that any chance he had with Cara was gone forever. He’d pushed all his feelings for her into a box that night, one he wrapped lovingly and labeled and placed in the storage area where he always imagined putting the most intense of his feelings. It was filled, a warehouse of his past. He turned to the crowd and found Shannon. The fact that he hadn’t been in at the same time as her, that she had left fairly quickly, he figured she’d be safe to talk to. He found himself actually really enjoying their talk, he genuinely laughed for the first time in days watching her get riled up about Dickens and motorcycles. This was the point in which Cara had walked up. The talk had turned to Blake and Jakub and he had shrugged. He actually hoped they hooked up at this point, maybe she’d finally get the hint he’d been dropping the last few days that he was over it all. 

  
Image of Cara pulling him to the side that night, and demanding to know, finally why he’d switched. She said that she didn’t believe it had anything to do with the video, like he had said. She knew from a conversation with Bobby that it’d begun before then, and hints that Gary had been dropping. He had sighed, running a hand through his hair, feeling the gel he used, coating his fingers, grimacing a bit at the feel. Finally, he’d told her some of the truth. He said that he didn’t think he was suited well enough to her, that he’d ignored the obvious chemistry she had with Gary and when the girls left, he’d had time to actually think about that. He didn’t tell her he didn’t think he was good enough for her. Her face softened though, like he had told her that. Her small hands had grasped both of his and she leaned in and said, in a low voice, just for him, “Forgiven. Friends?”. He’d nodded and they’d hugged. His soul had eased a bit that night. It had gotten even better when he took Shannon’s advice to go check out the Hideaway and found Blake and Jakub entwined. He’d laughed, and when Blake looked up at him with shocked eyes, he’d narrowed his eyes at her, then winked and said “Game on. You two have a delightful time.” and turned and walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It didn't feel like any story could be told without this information being a part of it.


	3. The Damage of Hidden Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the cameras don't always capture everything, or producers craft reality shows to storylines they choose. Lucas finds out about stuff in the Villa after Henrik and Hannah return.

Lucas finally fell into an uneasy sleep, only half waking up as dawn started stealing across the sky and his phone vibrated with message after message, notification after notification as other people started to wake up for workouts, for photo shoots, for early morning classes, or work shifts, and saw the other notices from the people that had been awake through the night, from the American viewers who often were more avid in their following of Love Island than the people here. Lucas finally woke fully when his alarm went off at 7 a.m. He’d purposefully set his alarm later after his conversation with Shannon. He had hoped for a deep sleep until it went off, but he’d have to make do with what he had. He pulled up the list on his phone he’d made of things he needed to do and stared at it. Exhaling a low breath, he did something he hated to do, but for his own well-being, had made the decision as he drifted off. He quickly dialed his clinic’s number and spoke briefly to Imogen, the grandmotherly receptionist at his office. She followed Love Island gossip and clucked sympathetically about that poor hen, Cara, as she agreed to call and reschedule his appointments today for him. After hanging up the phone, he filled in the dot next to the item. Swinging his legs out of bed, he stood, and without even realizing, quickly touched each finger to his thumb, before heading out into the kitchen to make himself a French press coffee.

Sitting down with it at his mosaic tiled breakfast island, he took the first sip of it and savored the sharp feel of the espresso roast as it hit his taste buds. While Lucas was an Englishman about the type of tea he drank, (none of that hideous Lipton tea bag crap that he’d had the mistake to try while visiting Las Vegas with Shannon the previous month) he didn’t swear by it every other moment like some basic idiots out there. His hand tightened around the mug as he had flashbacks of hearing the word “tea” out of Gary’s mouth like five million times, both at the Villa, watching the Villa on tv, and then serving as his best person. He became aware of how tight he gripped his mug and relaxed his hand a little, before placing the coffee down and pulling his phone over to him. He stared at item number two on his list and briefly debated shifting the order of his to-do list down. He should probably begin to check the scads of messages that were flooding his inbox, flooding all his inboxes right now. He shook his head to himself, no, he’d made a plan and it was best if he just stuck with it. Item number two then. Text Bobby McKenzie, Villa resident baker, and best friend to all the girls in there. For a moment, he felt a flood of irritation with the Scotsman, why the hell had he not put a halt to the wedding plans if Lucas’s suspicion was true and he actually knew something?? He gritted his teeth, shaking off that irritation too, it wouldn’t be helpful to the current situation. He was currently in fact-gathering stage of the plan he and Shannon had partially devised last night. He needed to get on with it. He opened his Whatsapp and quickly scrolled through his contacts before selecting Bobby’s name. When the message box opened, he was surprised to find out it’d been at least a month since they had chatted via individual text. He scanned the last few messages in the IM.

\--Lucas, buddy! You’ll never guess who I ran into while she was up here visiting? EMILY! She came into Tartan Treats just as I was about to go off shift. I’m about to take her out for a quick bite to eat. She’s just as funny as I remembered!”  
\--Bobs, that’s awesome. I know you fancied her a tiny bit, right?  
\--Yeah. I did. Had I known Marisol was going to bring back that ship captain, I’d have switched right then. Whatever happened to Graham?

\--Oh, I don’t know for sure. He definitely wasn’t with Marisol at the reunion. In fact, I don’t believe he was there at all.  
\--He wasn’t.  
\--Have fun on your date, mate. I’m about to go in and hear Mrs. McConnelly’s opinion, again, as to why Blake was a horrible decision, while I try my hardest to get the conversation over to her love of Jaffa cakes.  
\--Ouch. No envy here for you. Couldn’t she choose a better dessert to kill herself over?  
\--Ikr?

Bobby and Emily had now been dating for a full month and Lucas hadn’t had a chance to even ask him how it was going. He knew well, but that was only because of regular conversations with Shannon, who had become close to Emily post-villa as well. He sighed and started keying in his message.

\--Hey, Bobs. You there? Sorry that it’s taken a crisis for me to reach out. But here we are.   
He stared at his phone waiting. He knew Bobby was an early riser, like him, so he figured it was just a matter if he was already at Tartan Treats, the tourist bakery that he’d gone off to to learn the ins and outs of running one, before he made the plunge into owning his own.  
\--Lucas, mate, it’s okay. We’ve all been busy. I’d ask how you were, but probably can already guess. What can I do for you on this not so fine morning? I know Shannon probably filled you in on the book. But have you seen the news this morning?  
\--No. I decided on messaging you first. What more has happened??   
\--Wellll. At first, even though I felt bad for Cara, of course, I thought it’d be ok. You know, the new season of Love Island was due to start later this week. Figured people would move quicker on to the new people. Like, what happened last year when what’s her name, checked into rehab and then the show started and from what you told me, by the time you got in...she was out of the news.   
\--Oh that’s right! Guess Hannah didn’t think of that when she dropped her bombshell. How pathetically stupid of her and how incredibly fortunate for Cara!  
\--Yeah. Not so much. News hit this morning, they’re moving the premiere back.  
\--What the fuck? How can they? I mean isn’t part of the appeal the mostly live aspect?  
\--Eh, apparently, they’re just going to use the time to come up with some twist. They don’t come out and say it’s because of Hannah’s book, but seriously? It totally is. They want to milk this to get even more people sucked into the new season.  
\--Christ. Could they seriously not just give her a break?  
\--Right. Sorry to be the carrier pigeon of this new horrible twist.  
\--Really, it’s not anything worse than what has already happened.  
\--Truth. So, why am I first on your master list of tasks to get done today?  
\--Normally, I’d finesse asking this better and subtly try to draw the information out, but today isn’t the time for that.   
\--You’re wondering why I didn’t volunteer or seem to want to be in the wedding, eh? Figured you noticed that.  
\--Exactly.   
\--Ugh. I was hoping you’d never ask. It’s not my story to tell. This is Henrik’s.  
\--Henrik??!   
\--Yeah.   
\--What does Henrik have to do with it?   
\--Look. Why don’t we conference call the man. His Twitter was updated this morning, which means he’s not currently leading any lucky lassies hoping to play games on the side of a mountain with him or get one of his famous post-hike rub downs in the wilderness.  
\--Fine. Give me a couple minutes. I’ll call you both.  
\--Make it soon. About to be heading out and rather not have this conversation out in public, you know?  
\--I do.

Lucas got up from the breakfast island and busied himself making another cup of coffee. He knew this day would end up with him hanging on by a thread of caffeine and adrenaline to see him through. After he had it done and his cream added, he carried it back to his seat and sipped on it. The timer he had set on his phone for 10 minutes after finishing his text with Bobby went off. He picked up his phone again, opened Whatsapp back up, and started a group call with Bobby and Henrik. Bobby picked up first of course, expecting the call. A moment later, Henrik’s husky voice answered with an accented “Henrik. Hello.”  
“Buddy.” Lucas greeted him.  
“Hey Henrik,” came Bobby’s voice a moment later, with the strange echo that always seemed to accompany his voice calls on WhatsApp.

“Lucas! Bobby! Have you two called to book an Adventure Golf trip? Why isn’t Rahim on the line too?”  
Lucas silently groaned in his head. He loved Henrik to death, but the man often was so clueless. He waited a moment, hoping Bobby would fill the silence.   
Bobby let out a low chuckle, “Ha, good one Henrik. I’m sure Adventure Golf will happen at some point. Today’s not the day though. Have you not heard the news yet?”  
“No, I’ve been busy researching a new spot up in your country, Bobs. I’ve never really hit the Highlands for a hike, figured it was time. Thought I’d stop by and say hi to you and Emily on the way.”  
Bobby sighed. Lucas could tell he was also frustrated at having to explain. He decided to do Bobby the favor.  
“I wish we had called for Adventure Golf. Hannah’s book came out. Thought for sure Chelsea would have called you already, I’m sure she already knows.”  
Henrik paused a moment before speaking, “She and I aren’t speaking right now. It became too hard, trying to be friends and all.”  
“Ouch, sorry to hear that. Okay, so Hannah’s book came out. The last chapter, well, the last chapter basically talks about her hooking up in the elevator at Gary and Cara’s wedding. The implication she leaves the reader with, both through the book, and her Twitter, is that the man was Gary.” Lucas hated the words as they came out of his mouth, his hand gripped the edge of the counter as he thought for a brief second of Cara, and fought his desire to have her here, where he could see her, where he could hold her and comfort her.  
Lucas could imagine how wide Henrik’s eyes were growing right now. There was a momentary pause and then Henrik’s voice came across the static from Bobby’s connection.

“Shit. I had really hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I should have done something. But, I couldn’t figure out what to do, so in the end, did nothing.”  
Lucas’s body stilled. He hadn’t expected Henrik, Henrik of all people!, to have a secret he was hiding.   
His voice growled out, lower than he expected, “What do you know? Tell me.”  
Bobby’s voice cut in, “Lucas, you need to calm down. Henrik did the best he could, and he probably wouldn’t have been able to change anything anyway. Just hear him out. Henrik, Lucas finally asked why I didn’t volunteer for the wedding. Though, I’m surprised he’s not asked you yet why you weren’t even there.”  
“He said he had a group he was leading in the Alps that weekend that he couldn’t get out of!”  
“That was a pretty good excuse on his part, wasn’t it?”  
“I did have a tour that weekend! I just left out the part where I purposefully scheduled it for that time.”  
“What?? Why the hell would you do that?”  
“I will tell you the details, but I didn’t want to be there, I was worried I’d tell Chelsea and she’d tell Cara and everything would be ruined. I figured there was a good chance it wasn’t important anymore, it was from the Villa after all. And a lot has happened since then.”  
“Just tell Lucas what happened, Henrik. I think it’s time someone other than us knew.” Bobby’s voice cut across Henrik’s. Lucas could hear the relief behind Bobby’s words. He knew Bobby hated chaos too, and whatever they had to tell him, it would have created internal chaos. He knew the affection Bobby had for Cara, and even the easygoing, joking friendship, he and Gary had developed. This must have been weighing on him for awhile. 

“So, this happened in the Villa. When Hannah and I came back. They didn’t film any of what I am about to tell you, or if they did capture it on camera, made the decision not to show it. Bobby and I agreed afterwards that to bring it up now would only cause problems that had no solution. We both honestly hoped that it blew over, that it wasn’t going to be there with us forever.”  
“Okay. Go on?”  
“They let Hannah and I meet and talk before we took Gary and Cara on dates. They thought it’d be interesting if we both knew what the other was trying. I was really, really surprised at Hannah. When she’d been on before we got there, she seemed sweet, like one of those girls that always has something nice to say. I’m not sure what happened or if that was an act she had put on, thinking it’d get her further, but she was definitely not very nice when we met. I’m glad she didn’t pick me at the last recoupling. I’m glad I had little to do with her after. Everyone thought it was Lottie she was there to get her revenge on, because of the kiss. But, it wasn’t. It was Cara. She hated her, like, like, so much that I felt uncomfortable and upset on Cara’s behalf. She blamed Cara fully for her leaving the villa. Said that if Cara hadn’t kept grafting on Gary after Priya chose him, she knows Gary would have noticed her. Said that Cara was a two-faced wench for kissing Gary while coupled up with Rocco, even though everyone could see, even before you and I came in, that she wasn’t into Rocco at all. The producers had made it very clear we couldn’t tell anyone in the Villa about anything outside of there. They told me I’d have to leave if I said anything.”  
“I understand. But if she hated Cara so badly, why’d it look like it was Lottie she was after? Why didn’t she pick Gary?”  
Bobby broke in, “Part of it was editing. They took a few things out that she did and said to Cara. They didn’t air conversations she was having behind Cara’s back. Not sure why. But, well, we overheard a conversation between her and Hope that might explain why she didn’t pick Gary. I know Hope ended up looking super bad with her Noah thing after the show was done, but she actually did look out here and there for others of us in there.”  
Henrik began talking when Bobby paused for breath, “So, Bobby and me, we were heading to the girls’ dressing room right before the recoupling,”  
Bobby cut in, “We were going to switch Hope and Lottie’s stuff about. You know, another pants prank. We knew they’d not fall for it--”  
“But thought it would be funny to hear what they said, anyway, we heard voices from the rooftop as we came out on the dressing room. It’s funny how much you can hear from the girls’ dressing room. We ducked down, not wanting to be seen. We were going to leave when we first heard Hope’s voice, we didn’t want to interrupt if another Nope fight was brewing.”  
“Then we heard Hannah’s voice though and Henrik put a hand out to stop me from leaving.”  
“I wanted to hear what she had to say. I knew she’d been alone with Cara and well...” Henrik’s voice trailed off, not wanting to go into his behavior when he first got back to the Villa.  
Bobby picked the thread of the story up, “Anyway, Hannah was crowing to Hope about how Gary snogged her silly the night before, then had looked horrified and left her. But she figured it was just his loyalty, and that it meant he had actual feelings for her. And this, this is where Hope really showed her loyalty to Cara. Because Hope hissed at her, and told her to shut up right then. Said that if she really thought Gary wanted to be with her, she was even more of a naive little idiot than Hope took her for. She told Hannah if she picked Gary at the recoupling and messed up the rest of Cara’s time there, she’d make sure that Hannah never had a moment of peace and would make sure she was voted off just as soon as it could be done.”  
“You could tell she frightened Hannah. She was making these little gasps, like she was either crying or trying not to cry. Hope stormed in right after and caught Bobby and I standing there, our mouths hanging open. She just snapped at us that if we told Cara or Gary anything, she’d make sure our lives were hell too. Then she left the room. We got out of there before we had to see Hannah too.”  
Lucas felt the last thread holding his temper in.   
“He WHAT? He kissed her and no producer thought that was worthy of airing?? What the hell was wrong with them then? They air every other little thing, and ensured that there were no holds barred drama every little opportunity they got!”  
Bobby’s voice was quiet, musing, “Maybe, after Cara shut Henrik down, and made sure to let Gary know how she felt and that she wasn’t tempted, they wanted to package it as the love story of the season? You know they like to have one of those and Hope and Noah were fraying at the edges, even then.”   
Lucas barely heard him, he was busy counting, trying to cut through the whirling chaos in his mind. Slowly, Bobby’s words sunk in.   
“You’re right, of course you are. But, I guess the important thing now is, where is Cara?”  
There was a long silence from both of them.   
Finally, Bobby asked, “Have you talked to Rahim yet? He was her best person. Even if she’s sworn him to secrecy, you could probably get Jo to spill the details.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it feels like a forever time without Cara actually in the story. But, trust, you'll see her plenty soon enough!


	4. Fraying Edges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is beginning to feel the strain. Get to know Emily a little. The hunt for facts and Cara continues.

Lucas disconnected the call a few minutes later, after reassuring Henrik that he’d done the right thing not saying anything. He tapped his fingers against his mug, lost in thought. He knew he had to add things to his list. This had opened “fact gathering avenues”, as Shannon would say, that neither had known existed before. He opened his list app on his phone and scrolled down, reviewing everything on it. He added “Hope” and another line “Rahim/Jo”. He marked off “Message Bobby”. He couldn’t figure out if Hannah had talked about this in her book prior to the ending chapters Shannon had read. Bobby didn’t mention it, but Bobby always thought more about the big picture, and how to solve what he saw as the big picture. Lucas was more of a detail man. He liked knowing all the details before fully committing. He’d learned, yet again, when he made the decision to switch what not having all the details did to his life. He decided he needed yet another item on the list, “Emily”. She was the only one he knew whom had read the entire book already. He wasn’t willing to hit the gossip sites and review sites yet for information. They were never fully correct. He moved “Emily” to the next item on his list. He needed to message Bobby though for Emily’s information. He’d never really talked to Emily outside of at random parties and reunions over the last few months. He sighed, feeling slightly irked that something he’d crossed off wasn’t actually finished. Running a hand over his face, feeling the bristle of his unshaven face scratch at his fingertips, he decided he really needed to shower and shave, before he did anything else. He set a timer on his phone for 20 minutes and got up from his seat in the kitchen, and walked into the bathroom. 

  
He turned on the shower and after a moment of waiting, stepped into it. Putting one hand against the shower wall, he leaned his head against his arm. This was the moment for him to be unfocused on his list. This was the time for the emotions to wash over him. He swung open the locked door he kept everything behind, through the power of lists, and analyzing everything, counting down from ten and up to a hundred and all the other tricks he used to maintain control. The first thing to come sweeping out of the cell was his overwhelming desire to get to Cara, to heal her, to keep her safe. It hit him so strong, his head dropped to his arm. Right now, he was powerless to do any of it. He didn’t know where she was, she didn’t know if she was still in Chatham, where she’d moved after Love Island was done, if her and Gary were sticking it out. He’d tried so hard since last summer to keep this part in check. Just when it was starting to lessen, lessen by his living a life free of her other than random interviews and pictures of her and Gary on blogs, the reunion happened. Then the wedding. Even then, he felt an overwhelming need beating behind the locked door to keep her safe. He didn’t trust that Gary could do it. He didn’t trust anyone but him could do it. Now, it was consuming him, he knew now that she was definitely in pain, definitely in danger, emotionally if not physically. He hated how powerless he felt right now to stop this tidal wave coming for Cara. His old friend, self-hatred whispered against his skin, breathing into his ear, wrapping her arms around him and reminding him he had had Cara in his hands, he had her right there and he had let his baser emotions win that day.

He suddenly felt anger at Cara, all of this had been hinted at while they were in the Villa, couldn’t she see that Gary would be the least reliable of all the men there? The Lottie kiss, the Hannah flirting, the lie about Marisol, his easy switch to trying things on with Chelsea after the girls came back from Casa Amor, and Gary had saved Chelsea. He cursed at himself for shifting this onto Cara. This wasn’t her fault. Gary had always put on a good show of learning from his mistakes. He’d shared his past and how he’d come on from it. What woman doesn’t like a bit of a fixer-upper? At least one that already seemed somewhat fixed. Who was he, to be sitting here and blaming Cara for taking the chance on love? No one, that’s who. His hand bunched into a fist and he drove it hard into the shower wall, feeling the pain in his hand as a knuckle split open and blood began to ooze out of his skin. He shook his hand, the pain helping bring him back to himself. He consulted his inner clock and determined he’d just wasted about six minutes of his allotted shower time. He slowly pushed back at the emotions, securing them behind their locked door again, and finished his shower, his phone timer going off just as he was finishing toweling himself dry.

His knuckle had stopped bleeding on his own, he’d feel it tomorrow at work, helping his patients with two-person stretching. He critically examined it, determined it should be healed enough tomorrow to not bleed all over the clinic, and pulled on a pair of black joggers and a soft gray t-shirt. After carefully gelling his hair into place and brushing his teeth for a timed two minutes, he moved out into his living room and eased himself into his favorite leather wingback chair. Right, onto his next thing. He fired a quick message off to Bobby, requesting Emily’s contact information. A minute later, he had her mobile number. He decided a call would be easier than a long text. He waited another two minutes, to give time for Bobby to message her that he’d be calling. He dialed and listened to the phone ring.

  
“Hello?” Emily’s voice bubbled over the phone. He had often been reminded of Chelsea while talking to Emily. “Lucas, is that you?”

  
“It is. Did Bobby let you know I was calling, then?”

  
“He did. I figured after talking to Shannon this morning for a few that I’d be hearing from you anyway. You want to know more about what the book said?”

  
“Yeah, specifically, well did Bobby tell you about what he and Henrik told me?”

  
“Mhm. Hannah never mentions it in her book. She talks on for a bit about how hot she thought Gary was when she returned but that it was so, so apparent how happy he and Cara were. She said she decided on Elijah as the best one to make a love connection with, even though she, of course, tries to seem smart enough to know that the whole Arjun thing would happen. I’m so happy I was never in the Villa with her. I’d have been tempted to kick her smug, sanctimonious arse.”

  
Lucas was surprised at the laugh that slipped out at hearing Emily’s voice grow impassioned. He could see what Bobby saw in her.

  
“You’re really not the first person I’ve heard not like her today.”

  
“Oh my God Lucas, I don’t know if anyone but Cara, Gary and Elijah really ever liked her much after her return. At least that’s the impression I got watching the show.” Lucas hadn’t paid Hannah too much attention after the final recoupling so he was a little surprised to hear this. “She kept trying to get Noah to talk books with her, but like she’d go on about some Bronte sister book and he’d just look at her and say really, he preferred Dickens any day of the week. It’s probably why Hope didn’t like her, though maybe Hope just saw through her. Have you talked to her yet? I know she’s kind of in hiding after the public reaction to her, but she might have something more to add. I don’t know. Can I ask you something?”

  
Lucas absentmindedly made a noise of assent. His eye snagged on his knuckle. He flexed his finger, feeling the pain of the bruise forming there bring him back to the conversation, just in time to really focus on what Emily was saying.

  
“Why do you care so much? I mean,” Emily rushed over her words “that came out wrong. I guess I’m just asking what, well, why you’re the only one who’s actually called me to find out about this stuff, or any of it. Most of us all follow each other on social media and I put it on a couple different places I’d read the book. You’re the only one to reach out. Why?”

  
Lucas inhaled slowly. He could see even clearer now why Bobby was so into this girl. She wasn’t afraid at all to ask someone a tough question, to put herself out there. 

  
“I made a promise to Cara at her wedding. I feel like I owe her something for how I treated her last summer. I, well, I guess I would just like to ensure that life doesn’t hit her too hard.”

  
“Hmm. I don’t think that’s all of it. But I’ll let you be.” She paused a moment, then laughed. “Well for now. Know that you are in for a right grilling the next time we are in the same room.”

  
Lucas let her hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “I shall look forward to that time then. Thank-you so much Emily for your help. It means so much to me.”

  
“You’re welcome. Do you want me to see if I can figure out where she is? I can tell you, I don’t think she’s in Chatham anymore. The Love Island Lookers blog got a snap from someone of her at the train station late last night. You know how they’ll take anyone’s information about any of us.”  
“That’s good to know, Emily. Thank-you again. You’ve been invaluable today.”

  
“Yeah, yeah, you know Henrik was right to call you out last summer on how you talk. So formal! Talk soon, Lucas.” After making a kissy noise at him, she hung up.

  
Lucas sat for a moment. His fingertips tapping against the arms of the chair. Did he want to call Hope? Would she ask even tougher questions about his motives than Emily had? He decided he definitely did not want Hope questions coming his way, but that he needed to know why Hannah would keep the information she told Hope out of the book. Taking a deep breath, he opened his contacts up and scrolled to Hope’s work number. He knew she’d be there right now, she lived and breathed her job, especially after the disaster of the Love Island coverage last summer. He knew that’s why she’d stayed away from Cara’s wedding, out of a desire of not being in the limelight again, not having to see the catty things that’d be said about what she wore, what she said, what she did, during the course of the weekend. He figured she probably didn’t want to see Noah either, now that he was dating a new woman, a fellow librarian from his own job. He thought that when Hope hurt, she hurt deep, which is why she guarded against anyone else getting to know Noah last summer. Hitting the number, he waited while it rang.

  
“Hope Daniels. How may I assist you?” Her voice sounded a little guarded. Lucas wondered if some media had already tried contacting her at work. Whenever there was some big drama concerning anybody from Love Island, someone always contacted every single one of them looking for a good sound bite, a good quote, anything to gain a few more hits on their webpages.

  
“Hope, it’s me, Lucas.”

  
“Lucas! Hello!” The relief in her voice let Lucas know he’d been right to suspect someone had already tried her at work for a comment.

  
“How’s the toy designing?” 

  
“Oh it’s going so well right now! We’re past the testing stage, so of course, that means we’re in a blessedly child-free part of the production now.”

  
“That’s grand. I am not sure how you even dealt with having to watch the little beasts so much as they played.”

  
“I know, definitely not the part I loved the most. But I do know you’re not on my line wanting to know about toys. Spill it, Lucas.”

  
He briefly outlined what Henrik and Bobby had told him, how he knew from Emily that it wasn’t in the book. He asked Hope if she’d give him more details.

  
“That little snake. It definitely was not in that piece of trash she has the audacity to be peddling. I swear, that girl would do anything to keep her fifteen minutes of fame stretching out. The reason it wasn’t in there was because when they contacted me for approval of that part of it, I said that she could not detail that exchange with me in her book. It never got onto the show, so it was definitely something that had to be cleared. I advised her publishers that I would take whatever legal action was open to me if I saw even a hint of it in her book. I didn’t want my name out in the open again. I figured there were enough people out there that might decide to paint me as enemy number one again for it. And,” Hope’s voice softened a moment. “I was really hoping that nothing would ever come out about it, that Cara and Gary wouldn’t have to go through it being public knowledge. But, it looks like that idiot solved that problem. Poor Cara. If you talk to her, let her know I’m rooting for her, will you?”

  
“Of course, Hope, I definitely will. But no one seems to know where she’s at right now.”

  
“Good for her. I hope wherever she’s at, she’s deciding to tell Gary to fuck off and move on with her life. I wish they’d not delayed the season opening. She needs the public to move on from her.” Lucas heard a voice near Hope just then, “I have to go Lucas, I have a meeting about to start. Keep me updated, okay? Pacifically about how Cara’s doing if you manage to find out.” Lucas rolled his eyes that Hope was still using the word wrong. 

  
After thanking her and hanging up, he flung his head back against the chair. He held his phone up and checked off Emily and Hope from his list. He closed his eyes for a moment. Fuck, he was so tired. He wanted to know where Cara was. He wanted to take her somewhere and wrap her in a blanket and just hold her until everything was better. He wanted to beat Gary into a bloody pulp, he wanted Gary to walk around always looking over his shoulder in fear. He wanted to make Hannah cry, deep gasping sobs, he wanted to leave a permanent mark on that woman’s psyche. He wanted all of these things at the same time and the chaos of it all was beating at the door in his mind, demanding that he either let it all out or fixed this, but he just couldn’t yet. He clung to the plans he had forming in his head. He needed to call Shannon to figure out what to do next, he was now at a branch in what to do, which urge to act on first. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, still no Cara. I thought I was ready to shift the story, but Lucas just isn't done with his part yet. Hopefully in another couple of chapters, the story will swing in a different direction for a bit.


	5. The Hunt Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas narrows down both his goals, and his search.

Lucas hung up with Shannon, forty-five minutes later. He’d narrowed his focus down and felt better having a course of action for each area he wanted one for. Shannon had volunteered to take some of his strategy play from him and begin it, leaving him to focus on Cara, while still participating in getting one of his goals done. He decided it was time to call Rahim and Jo now to see what details he could get from them. He clicked on Rahim’s number. 

  
“Hello?” Jo’s voice had a belligerence to it that he recognized from when she felt cornered at the Villa, from what had been shown on the show at least. Lucas figured she was answering Rahim’s phone because he’d gotten more calls today from the media than he’d gotten so far. He figured that made sense, Rahim had been Cara’s best person. Right now, they’d be salivating to get her perspective, to find out what she was thinking and feeling, so he was a logical first step for them.

  
“Jo. It’s Lucas.”

  
“Thank God. I didn’t look at the caller ID when the phone rang, I just wanted to tell whomever it was to stop calling, they’re going nuts right now. Rahim is having a hard time just repeating ‘No comment’ over and over. He left me his phone while he went to practice his swing at the club.”

  
Lucas smiled to himself. He knew he could get Rahim to spill details, but Jo was so much easier. She talked too much when she lied, making it easier to spot and call out. Maybe he’d luck out though and she’d just be honest from the beginning with him.

  
“I’m happy to be able to give you a call that wasn’t some gossip reporter wanting Rahim to give out private details.” He was fishing to see if Rahim even had any private details.

  
“I know, right?? Like what do they think? That we’re all sell outs to our friends? That we’d be so low as to tell them where Cara’s gone off to and sic them on her like, like a pack of rabid dogs? Cara asked for secrecy, so secrecy is what she will most definitely get from us.” Jo finished in a hiss, not even realizing that she’d just basically told Lucas that there was an actual secret to find out. He really, really hoped that Rahim got back soon and took back his phone from this crazy woman.

  
“I’m very concerned about Cara right now. I’d love to be able to let her know that she has more than one or two friends on her side right now.”

  
“Oh I’m sure she already knows that, Lucas. She just really wants to avoid the public eye right now and really, just avoid everyone. She said she was turning off her phone and just going to enjoy the solitude and figure out where she wanted to go now, what she wanted to do.” 

  
Lucas mentally thought “solitary”, which narrowed it down a bit further for him.

  
“I really hope she didn’t go anywhere requiring a flight then. I mean, you know how persistent some of these people can be, combing through departures and ticket sales. I’d hate for her to have her solitude intruded.”

  
Jo laughed a little. “Relax, Lucas, she definitely didn’t go anywhere that required a flight. After they figured out where her honeymoon was, even with her and Gary planning it so last minute, she told Rahim she’d learned a valuable lesson.”

  
“Oh, that’s excellent news then. Hopefully, she’s not too remote. I mean, she’s not Henrik after all. She seems to enjoy having central heating and food she doesn’t need to consume out of a vacuum pack or cook over a fire. I remember luxury being part of what she wanted from her honeymoon.”

“No worries there, Lucas. She’s definitely at a place where there’s some people. Wait. Are you trying to get me to tell you where she is? Because I most definitely will NOT be doing that.” Jo growled over the line. Lucas rolled his eyes, picturing the ugly grimace her face pulled up into whenever he’d heard that tone from his television or during the wedding preparations. 

  
“Jo. My main and only concern is making sure Cara is safe and in a place where she can find the peace she deserves. Why would I be trying to get the location out of you?”

  
“I know you all think I’m the weak link here. I know it. You think I’m just going to talk and talk and let it out. My name is not Chelsea. I’m tired of everyone having some idea of me as a liar. I am not a liar, and I will not be the one that lets this secret slip. If that bitch, Shannon, gave you that idea, you can tell her to shove it and go back to her damn poker games. She’s not as good as she thinks she is.” Jo’s voice raised into a high pitched yell at the end right before she hung up the phone.

  
Lucas pulled his phone away from his ear, feeling irritation rise up at being hung up on. Jo was absolutely the most immature person he’d had to be friendly with over the last year. The only things he could appreciate about her were her loyalty and love for Rahim and that she’d not been two-faced and pathetic enough to sell secrets about Villa people to the press, unlike some. Speaking of that, he realized Shannon’s plan wouldn’t get a good beginning until Rahim had his phone back. He fired a quick text off to her, letting her know to wait an hour or two before beginning her part. He stood up and began pacing, lacing his hands behind his neck, after tucking his phone into the pocket of his joggers. Jo had told him more than she realized. He knew that Cara had to be still in either England or Scotland. He figured she’d have driven to wherever she was going. Ferries also ran risks of people noticing and snapping pictures to send into Love Island Lookers or other outlets. He needed to see where she’d possibly taken a train to, which meant visiting that vile site and reading about it. He sighed and sat down at the kitchen island, pulling his laptop over to him and opening it up. He never visited any of the gossip sites on his phone, he felt it dirtied his main tool of communication, polluted his day. He typed in loveislandlookers.com and waited for the site to load.

He grimaced as the most recent entry on the site loaded. It was a picture of Gary, leaving out the door of their flat, his hand up in a “don’t” gesture that Lucas was familiar with, as he thought all of them had been pictured at least once like that. He looked closer at the picture, noting the puffiness of Gary’s eyes, and the bruised mark on his cheekbone. He smiled tightly. Good, he hoped it had been Cara that gave him the bruise. He figured the redness and puffiness of his eyes was from crying. He was fine with that. He hoped Gary would cry for years to come, every night if necessary. He looked straight at the picture, staring right into the blue eyes and said with a cold tone.

  
“I’m coming for you in due time. Wait.” 

  
He scrolled down the page further and found the picture of Cara that Emily had referenced. He clicked on the post to go into the full page of it. He bit his lip, feeling his urge to wrap her up surge over him. She had offered the person taking the pic an open look, her eyes also rimmed in red, she had her arms wrapped around her middle, her biceps clearly outlined under the tight sky-blue button down she had on. Lucas thought it looked like she had carelessly thrown something on, as he could tell from peering close at the picture that it was buttoned incorrectly, even though she’d only done two in the middle over the black lace edged cami he could tell it was covering. Her dark brown hair was pulled up high on her head in a careless bun, with the red framed glasses she wore sometimes, almost like a shield, pushed up on her forehead. He knew from asking her at the wedding that they were just clear glass lenses in there. She liked the look of them she’d said. His heart ached to see her looking so vulnerable for the camera, even as he could soak in the sight of her beauty. He looked at the details behind her in the picture, even though it took him a moment to stop staring at her. There weren’t any signs that he could see indicating what train she was headed to, or any location details. He sighed at the necessity of reading what they had written below it. 

  
“Newlywed Cara Rennell, fleeing the area after the bombshell of fellow Islander, Hannah Chisholm’s last chapter of her new book “Dangerous Butterfly”. Proving that her husband of three months was mysterious elevator man? One of our readers sent in this picture, with the news that she spotted Cara climbing onto a train to London Victoria. Lucas wondered for a moment if she could actually be here in the city. But no, Jo would have hinted that she was closer to him than he thought before she became defensive and hung up on him. No, she had to have caught a train somewhere else from here. He scrolled through the rest of the entry, to see if anyone had spotted her after that. There wasn’t any further information on here, other than it was the 23:24 to Victoria station last night. He backed out of the site and pulled up Google. He typed in Cara Rennell Love Island Victoria Station to see if any other site had caught wind of it. He clicked on the most recent link, which was after Love Island Lookers had posted theirs. He groaned as he noticed the site was the same one as that persistent harridan of a woman had come from that kept wanting to know about his regret or lack of regret about switching. Then, he realized, he might actually find out the most from the woman. She definitely worked all the avenues to find out what she wanted. He began to read.

  
“Cara Rennell fleeing her new marriage? The shine worn off? Or is it because she’s discovered that Gary is Elevator Man? Spotted climbing into a cab outside of Victoria Station, I became curious whether she was running to Gary’s best person, Lucas, the only Love Islander from last season currently residing in London. Alas, I was disappointed to know that wasn’t the case.” Lucas rolled his eyes, while also thinking that he wished Cara had shown up at his door last night. He’d know exactly where she was right now, and that she was safe. He kept reading. “Searching Twitter and Instagram this morning, I discovered people had found her in our very own Kings Cross station, waiting for a different train. Her heart must be broken indeed, as she chose to sit in the station all night long, waiting it appears for the 6:15 to Edinburgh, at least according to @LISuperFan who spotted her climbing on that train this morning, armed with a bag of salt and vinegar crisps and a pack of Club mints. Poor Cara. Is heartbreak chasing her to the arms of a certain Glasgow baker boy, hiding by heading to Edinburgh first? Keep watch for more as it comes in.”

  
Lucas gritted his teeth. How dare this woman insinuate that there might be something brewing between Cara and Bobby, after all this time, after they’d never shown any signs of anything but a close friendship? Other than Bobby’s small crush on her during his time in the villa, which Cara had never encouraged, and Bobby had never pursued. He quickly counted his fingers down, wincing a little as he had forgotten about his knuckle. He convinced himself that Bobby had no idea, he would have told Lucas. Or he’d at least have told Lucas he couldn’t tell him where she was out of respect to her. He knew that Bobby was really happy now with Emily too, so he’d not be harboring some secret love for Cara. But, he knew at least, he was getting closer to figuring it out. He pulled up his favorite weather app on his phone, and put in Edinburgh. Excellent, they were calling for clear weather between London and Edinburgh for at least the next day. Once he had a better idea of where she was, he thought it was time for a bike trip. He was going to her. It was the biggest plan he and Shannon had discussed. He was going to her. He didn’t think she’d tell him to leave or be unhappy to see him. After all, he had been the one to talk to her three weeks ago after her and Gary had their first big fight of their marriage. She’d called him, while he’d been out at a pub. He’d talked to her, while standing outside, watching a couple guys come in and out with their smokes. He’d talked to long enough to see the same two men come out three separate times. He’d secretly loved it, and only now let himself admit that. He loved that she let him comfort her, let him help her figure out what she wanted to say. Now, if he could only find her, he could do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback any of you would like to give, feel free :) I think I know where I'm going with this, but sometimes the characters take surprising turns.


	6. Operation Hannah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wondered what Shannon was going to do? We take a break from Lucas for a chapter to see a group chat between some of the Islanders.

Shannon: Hello friends. To those of you I haven’t spoken to in awhile, I’m sorry. We’ve all gotten busy living our lives and moving past the events of last summer. But now, we must face it again. Hannah’s stirred up a right shit storm.

Emily: Omg! Has she ever! Her book isn’t even that well written, but everyone’s going to gobble up all the behind the scenes shit and we all know the last chapter is breaking everywhere now.

Hope: I knew her little romantic literary girl was just a fucking act. I wish the producers had never brought her back so she’d have faded away. She’s nothing who now thinks she’s something.

Lottie: She definitely did not end up my BFF. I can’t believe what that little snake said about me! And I can’t do anything as she stuck with the stuff that aired on the show. Unbelievable.

Priya: She just asked me last week if she could wear one of the dresses Cara had modeled for me on her Instagram. I told her yes. Now I think I’ll take it back and tell her no.

Hope: You should. You don’t want that trash’s name associated with yours. It’ll end up definitely being bad business.

Chelsea: I think she should get a taste of her own medicine. I just watched her on Telly Talk. She’s so full of it! I hate her! How dare she hurt Cara?? She definitely won’t be getting a Christmas gift from me this year.

Shannon: You’re right Chels. She should have a taste of what it feels like to be hated and not the media darling.

Hope: Damn right.

Shannon: I think we all have Hannah stories that did not make it onto the show. Am I right? Or things that have happened since?

Henrik: Yes.

Rahim: Yes.

Noah: Yes.

Lottie: Oh there you boys are. I figured you were just ignoring this.

Bobby: Eh, we thought maybe this was like in the Villa when you’d have rooftop terrace girl councils. I wondered whether we were here by mistake.

Shannon: No one in this chat is here by mistake, thank-you very much, Bobby. I’m just waiting for our last member to notice we are messaging.

Elisa: Who, me? Sorry, was just doing a video chat for my Elisa-bees.

Shannon: Good, you’re caught up. Since all of us have stories…

Emily: Well I really don’t. I’ve only met her once.

Shannon: You’re here because you might be the only one of us that’s read that entire work of crap.

Emily: O, you’re probably right there :D Shannon: Continuing on. We all, except Emily, have stories. I say we all find our favorite gossip person and tell them. Let’s spread real stories about her across the waves. Let’s discredit her and her book.

Bobby: Hmm. This might be great for Cara too. If everyone’s talking about Hannah...they won’t be talking about Cara. Let’s do this.

Lottie: I’m in. She will go down.

Rahim: Count me in. Anything for Cara.

Emily: Any of you that want details about the book, just send me a message!

Elisa: My Elisa-bees are going to be so into this. I’m definitely going to use it to show how we should all show the world our real faces, as eventually they all come to light, anyway.

Henrik: Hope? Can we tell the story?

Hope: Hmm. I didn’t want to. But if all this other stuff is coming out too...maybe it’ll help me heal too.

Bobby: Great. It’s actually great that it didn’t make it into the book. Showing that she previously made a move on him, will help.

Lottie: That snake. Still can’t believe her. And we all thought Rocco was the absolute worst. This is definitely worse. Priya, I know I’ve said sorry before, but double triple sorry now.

Priya: I think I’m going to offer her a different dress. One that doesn’t look so good. Then I’ll deny it’s mine and say she’s lying about it.

Shannon: Perfect. Operation Destroy Hannah activates in 3.2.1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're not the best at naming "Operation" things are they?


	7. Cromarty Cara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas does his own bit for Operation Destroy Hannah and finally discovers what he wants to know.

Lucas’s mouth curved into a satisfied smirk as he got the screen shots of the group chat Shannon had just conducted. He didn’t have any Hannah stories so he didn’t want anyone asking why he was in the chat. Shannon had agreed it was better for him to stay out of this step. He had his own two steps to do on the Hannah arc of his plot. He looked at the time on his phone and quickly estimated how long each step would take. He still needed to figure out how to find out exactly where Cara was before tomorrow morning. But first, he’d get these items out of the way. It didn’t matter what Cara’s decision was about what she wanted to do next in terms of Hannah, he would still bring the woman down. He had to put planning on Gary off until he figured out what Cara wanted. If she was going to work it out with Gary, he couldn’t take the man down in a showy way and preserve a role in Cara’s life. Being there for her was a higher priority, no matter how much he loathed the man and how much he longed to see him squirm.

  
He dialed his voice mail. He figured the person he wanted to speak with next would have left a message for him. He skipped over the first message when he recognized the voice as a Love Island producer from last summer, she could wait. He skipped the next message once he realized it was a man talking, he didn’t care about what at this moment. The third message was who he wanted.

  
“Jackpot.” He whispered as he leaned forward to grab a pen and a piece of scratch paper from the drawer closest to his laptop. 

  
“Lucas! Even though you’ve previously always ignored my attempts to reach you, I just simply had to try again. This is Maeve Johnson, from Up to the Minute blog. I assume you’ve heard the news about Hannah’s book, and especially the last chapter. I am simply dying to ask you a few questions and to hear your opinion on the events. Please give me a call.”

  
Lucas scribbled down her number as she slowly recited it, twice, for him. 

  
He quickly dialed her number. He truly wanted this next bit over as soon as possible. He hated these people. 

  
Her voice was breathy with excitement as she answered. “Hello?”

  
“Maeve? This is Lucas, you’ve left me a few messages over the last few months.”

  
“Lucas! I have! This is such a treat. I’m delighted to hear from you.”

  
“I’d offer you an excuse for my not contacting you, but I really do not have one. In my defense, I haven’t contacted any other outlets either. My apologies though, if my actions have in any way been a disappointment to you.” Lucas was falling back on his background of how to talk to the press and give the best impression, hobnobbing with royalty and being one in a family with a title, teaches you all sorts of handy skills.

  
“Oh it’s completely fine. You’re on my phone now, and really, many of you Love Island kids avoid us like the plague. We joke it’s because you get done with weeks of always having cameras on your every move. But, that’s neither here nor there. Are you free for a few questions?”

  
“Certainly. It’s why I called you, Maeve.”

  
“Excellent,” he could hear her settle back in her chair, “first, do you know where Cara has run off to? We’d love to get a comment from her on all of this.”

  
Lucas bit back what he really wanted to tell this woman. “Now, Maeve, even if I knew, which I certainly don’t, I’d think it’d be fairly obvious I wouldn’t tell you that.” He injected his comment with a flirtatious tone.

  
Maeve let out a little giggle, “Of course not, Lucas. I just figured I’d get that one out of the way. Should I put you down for no comment, then?”

  
“No, that makes it sound like I do know. I don’t, at this time. I’ve asked around, out of concern for Cara’s well-being, but it seems none of us know.”

  
“Or someone’s not telling. Do you think she’s gone to Glasgow?”

  
“I really think right now, Cara is searching for a way to have no reminders of the last year of her life. Would you go to a place where there’s at least two faces she’d be forced to relive some memories? I’m sure you know that Emily is still staying with Bobby on an extended vacation there, presently.”

  
“Ohh, is she? I didn’t know that!”

  
Lucas knew that Bobby and Emily wouldn’t mind him dropping this information off into the lap of Maeve. If it worked on pulling some attention from Cara, he knew they’d be actually in support of it. It also would be a good tool to discourage all the Twitter followers who still, a year later, shipped the two together. 

  
“If you don’t know it Maeve, then I assume no one else does either. Feel free to print it though. I know the two of them are super happy and would be fine with the world knowing they’re definitely an item.”

  
“Lucas, this phone call has already been one of the most valuable I’ve had today.”

  
“So happy I could be of assistance to you.” He faked a small laugh.

  
“Okay, moving onto the next question. What’s your opinion on Hannah’s book? Have you read it?”

  
Lucas paused for a moment, to give her the idea he was gathering his words. He already knew what he wanted to say, he’d known since he and Shannon had discussed it earlier.  
“Maeve. I like to think I’m a man with discerning taste. Whether that would be in what is the best cabarnet to pair with my dinner, or to the books I fill my limited leisure time with, I always pick quality. There are probably some authors that could have made me interested in reading their take on Love Island. Hannah, I am completely fine with saying, is not one of them. A girl who cannot even decide what her own personality is, much less how to captivate an intelligent reader, is not an author I wish to read anything from. It saddens me when someone bred with quality debases themselves for something so crass as book sales. Please, feel free to quote that in its entirety or pull it apart.” He listened to her keyboard as she typed in his words.

  
“Very interesting. Are you aware of what it says?” 

  
He forced a laugh again, “Now, really, that is a silly question. The better one would be, is there anyone that isn’t aware of it now?” His words were smooth and warm.

  
She giggled again. “I’ve always wanted to talk to you, Lucas. You were probably the smoothest operator in the Villa last summer.”

  
He grimaced. He didn’t think his actions had been that smooth, but he let her carry on with what she was saying. He had no wish for his regrets to be splashed all over the internet.

  
“I sincerely hate to cut this short, but I have some other phone calls I need to make this afternoon. Don’t worry though, you’re the only one that has publishing power of my words. But, because of that, I really only have time for one more question.”

  
“Oh, that’s too bad. You must promise me a longer conversation very, very soon.”

  
“Most definitely, Maeve. It might be time for my silence to end. You seem just the woman to help get my words out. Do you have one more question for me, today? Hmm?” He knew he poured on the charm just a little thick on the last bit, but he knew she’d eat it up.

  
“Oh. Oh, right,” she seemed a little flustered, and he heard a couple of papers shuffle together. He smirked to himself. “How do you feel about the fact that the groom you were best person to has acted so allegedly abhorrently?”

  
“I think that until Cara or Gary say for sure, we must, of course, stress the allegedly. If he did do this though, well, it makes me ashamed that I was ever associated with the man. However, I cannot regret my standing in their wedding, as I was able to share a close friend of mine’s very special day. If that day is less special now to her, then I will endeavor to support her through this time. And now, Maeve, as much as it pains me to, I must end this call.”

  
“Lucas, thank-you so much for your time. You have been an absolute delight to talk to. So much better than that dreadful Jo, whom I had to speak to earlier.”

  
Lucas laughed and told her goodbye. He knew she had been fishing for just one more quote from him about Jo in that last statement.

  
He opened his list and marked off “Interview”. He then opened Whatsapp, and fired off a quick message to a friend of his from childhood, Edward, asking if he wanted to meet this evening for a pint at their favorite pub. Once Edward came back that he’d love to catch up, Lucas arranged the time and closed out the message. He now had about a hour to spare until he had to leave to meet Edward. He opened a new message.

  
\--Rahim? You there, mate?  
\--Yeah, I’m here now. Jo told me about your conversation earlier. Sorry, man.  
\--It’s not a problem. I’m sure you’ve been hounded quite a bit today.  
\--It’s been unreal. I’m about to just pitch my phone out the window, but I can’t do it.  
\--Look, I’ll be honest. As one best person to another. I’m really worried about her, Rahim. I need to know she’s okay. Could you at least tell me how to get in touch with her? Please?   
\--Idk. I did tell her I’d not breathe a word of it to anyone.   
\--You know me, you know I’d not tell anyone. Listen, can I be dead honest with you?  
\--Of course.  
\--I’ve never gotten over the regret for hurting her. I’ve never moved past my mistake. If I can help her right now, I think it’ll go a long way to helping her and towards helping me to move on.

Lucas had hesitated to tell Rahim even this much, but had decided that the potential reward outweighed any risk that his words would be repeated outside this text, or that Rahim would realize he had more feeling for Cara than even that text stated. He tapped his fingers against the countertop, waiting for what felt an eternity. It was only two minutes.

\--Okay. I’ll tell you. But only because I know how it’d feel had I had been coupled with a girl I wanted to try with, and not a friendship couple, when I met Shannon.   
\--Thank-you so much. It means the world to me.  
\--She’s gone off to Cromarty. I’m not sure where that even is, except somewhere way up in the Highlands of Scotland. She said she’d once gone there on a small vacation with her parents.   
\--Isn’t she worried people will spot her?  
\--Nah, she said people up there are pretty private? I don’t know, mate. I hope she’s right.  
\--Me, as well. Thank you so much Rahim.   
\--Yeah. Make it sound like it was harder to get the info, yeah? And be sure to give her a hug from me. I have to go. I have something to do for Cara as well.  
\--Oh?  
Lucas knew exactly what type of thing Rahim had to do, even if he didn’t know the details, but he figured it was better that Rahim not know he knew.  
\--Yeah. You’ll see.   
\--Good luck then, mate.   
\--You too.

Lucas allowed himself a moment to feel the triumph wash over him. He knew where she was at now. But, he thought it might take him a bit longer than originally thought to get to her. He knew he was going to have to presume upon his patients having some patience with their appointments being rescheduled again, as he took a few days off. But, he had her. He would hopefully be wrapping her in his arms and holding her if she needed to cry, within the next two days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to Cara all the time. Thank-you to all of you reading and commenting <3 It means a lot to me.


	8. Operation Hannah-Elisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very, very short chapter. The Islanders are underway in their goal.

“Heeeyyy everyone! It’s Elisa, coming to you LIVE, from my living room, with a very important broadcast. Today, I’m not going to be showing you the best ingredients for a homemade face mask, though, really, that’s such an easy thing, it’s always honey and avocados! But, we won’t be talking about that today. Today, the topic on everyone’s mind is, of course, Love Island alumnae, Hannah and her new book. But, Elisa-bees, it’s important to not believe everything we read. It’s important to have all the facts before we gossip-sneeze and make assumptions. I have a scoop for you today. A story from my time post-Villa, and it deals with our very own wannabe writer. So, as all of you know, I went to the wedding of the year, just three months ago. Cara and Gary’s wedding. Which was so, so much fun. If you remember, I filmed all the girls doing their make-up and sharing their favorite make-up tips. What I didn’t show my followers, as I wanted to keep the video fun, lighthearted, and informative. You know, my typical fare for my lovely viewers, anyway, what I did not show you was some behind the scene nastiness from Hannah, herself. It was after Cara had gone to her room to get her gown on. And I swear, that girl dropped her persona of friendly and sweetness and light itself. It was just me and her in the bathroom. And she leaned over to me, and in the rudest voice ever told me she thought the wedding was the tackiest thing she’d ever seen. Said that Gary deserved so much better than Chelsea and Cara’s idea of class. This was the first time I’d ever really talked to Hannah, as we all know, Hannah and I were not in the villa together. I couldn’t believe it, Elisa-bees! I had always thought she was one of the prettiest girls that I’d seen ever on Love Island, both before and after her glow up! And, in this instant? Why, in this instant, she was just about the ugliest thing I’d ever seen. And Elisa-bees, that’s why I wanted to talk to you today about always showing your true self….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't completely happy with Elisa's paragraph, but ...here y'all go :)


	9. It Ends with a Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas ties up things in London and heads to Cromarty.

Lucas met with Edward an hour later, as planned. He didn’t talk about his upcoming two day plans. During the course of the two stouts he allowed himself, he outlined a plan to Edward. Edward agreed to it. Lucas thought he might. Edward had always been up for some devilry behind the scenes, and he had his own reasons for agreeing to what Lucas asked of him. As they parted after sharing a bro hug, Lucas left Edward with one last statement.  
“Remember, horses. Make sure you play up a love for horses.”  
Edward grinned, and sketched a mock salute so enthusiastically that his shaggy blonde hair blew up briefly from his forehead.  
“Don’t worry. I have this handled. You go do what you need to do.” He dropped a wink Lucas’s way. Lucas hadn’t shared a word about Cara, but Edward had known him since they were eight, when they had cemented their friendship over a plot to get back at Edward’s nanny one day when he was hopping mad that she had denied him video game time for a week. They now knew it was most likely at Edward’s mother’s directions but at that age, they only knew that the order had come from the evil nanny. Lucas figured if anyone knew how his mind worked, it was Edward.   
Lucas watched Edward leave and jog over to his own bike parked at the curb. That was another thing they shared. After Lucas had gotten into motorbikes, Edward had joined him. He threw down two twenty pound notes and started to walk towards the door when his phone beeped.   
Bobby: Hey. Watch Spill the Tea with Chelsea tomorrow morning at 8 on ITV. Luckily, they’ve only named it for her, there’ll be a different person running it. And Lucas? You’re welcome. You owe Hope big, it’s because of her that it’s even happening.  
Lucas: Hmm? I’m unsure what you mean.  
Bobby: Really? Because I know that Shannon didn’t cook up her thing all on her own.   
Lucas: Okay. Guilty. I’ll watch.  
Bobby: I’m sure it will be posted up online too. In case you’re busy.   
Lucas: I can make time.  
Bobby: Mhm. Sure. Take care of our girl, eh?

Lucas shook his head and realized that if nothing else, Love Island had given him another friend that could read him as well as Edward. Lucas was friendly to many, and could socialize with anyone, but had very few close friends. He thought he could now count Bobby McKenzie as one of them. He smiled. Between that realization and his plans going forward so well, he had a momentary feeling of peace. He knew it might be illusory, moments of peace so often were, but he breathed deeply, enjoying this one while it lasted. He pulled open his list and went to the next item.

  
“Rent a car”. He had looked up the distance and how long a trip it’d be. Ten hours on his bike was going to be too far to do quickly. If it was a leisure trip or one with a friend, he’d be fine with it, he’d been on longer on the Continent. He opened a browser on his phone and a few minutes later was on the phone with a rental place. He had decided while meeting with Edward that he was going to drive through the night. He’d hit Cromarty in the morning, tired but with an entire day to search for Cara. He was going to get home quickly, pack a bag with a couple essentials, then spend fifteen minutes searching the area to get at least one or two places to check for her before heading to pick up his car.

The next morning, found him pulled off the road a few kilometers from his destination. He set the alarm on his phone, leaned his seat back, and closed his eyes. He didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep but wanted to rest his eyes for a few minutes. The entire drive had been filled with him making and discarding plans, thinking through where to go first, and the overwhelming drive to get to Cara and get to her now. He could feel it deep within him, that she needed him right now. She needed someone and at this time, from what it sounded like from Rahim, she had exactly no one. It was currently 6 a.m. and he didn’t want to start hitting places until more of a breakfast time. He had considered the possibility that she had told Rahim one place and gone to another, due to knowing the strong possibility Jo would blather her location at the slightest pressure. But after a panic filled minute that he was headed to the wrong place, in the wrong direction, he’d discarded that thought. He didn’t know why, but he knew she was here. She was currently within just a few kilometers of him. He’d never felt something with such utter certainty in his life. He was afraid that she would refuse to see him, or to hear him. But he also knew she needed him to make himself seen and heard if she attempted not to. If, after he attempted to get her to accept his help, she still refused him...he figured he’d just check in somewhere, sleep the night and return home tomorrow. He didn’t think that was going to happen, but only if he didn’t mess up. As his mind drifted towards an uneasy and half asleep state, his fingers unconsciously flexed and straightened on right hand, his left fingers touching his left thumb in an almost prayer of counting. He didn’t even think numbers, just felt the pressure of each finger as it pressed briefly against his thumb. His thoughts began breaking apart into dreams, dreams in which Cara pressed her lips against his, dreams in which he punched Gary’s face over and over, dreams in which Blake dragged him down a long corridor while he reached for Cara who was disappearing behind a door, her face peeking around, the dreams slowly disappearing into a deeper sleep. He dozed on, until his alarm brought him up with a jerk. He looked down at his phone, noting the time as being now 7:15. 

“Right. It’s time.” he said out loud to the dashboard of the car before starting the ignition and completing the drive into Cromarty. He drove to what had seemed to be the main place to stay in the area, even though it had less than ten rooms available to check into. He crossed and uncrossed his fingers a couple times, before pulling down the visor and smoothing his hair down and baring his teeth to be sure they had no unsightly bits of food stuck in there. He then climbed out of the car and pocketing his keys, walked into the front door of the inn. He had thought about calling to reserve a room in advance, but he wanted to find where Cara was staying and reserve a room there. He had decided against the hassle of renting a room, then having to cancel it. This place also served a breakfast to the public, so he figured to begin here, and have breakfast while looking to see if there was any hint of her here. 

After being greeted by the middle aged woman who seemed to either be the owner herself or a manager who ran most of the daily details of the place, Lucas got sat at a table next to a wide open window. He looked around, feeling a moment of peace at the quietly patterned floral wallpaper and dark wood fixtures. Lush green plants sat on the window sill beside him, soaking in the bit of sun currently available. He found out they offered real coffee in this place, probably for all the Americans that have begun to dribble in after the success of that one show, Outlander, and ordered some with a sigh of relief. Even after his short nap in the car, he still felt the need for a bit of an energy boost. After ordering a full breakfast, Lucas sat back and scanned the room. There were only two other patrons in here having breakfast already, an older couple, who definitely came across as Americans in their jeans and sweatshirts and tennis shoes. They were most definitely not Cara. He closed his eyes for a moment and found himself doing something that was a habit from his childhood, something that would ghost out at weird times.

“If I just count to five and open my eyes, this will be fixed. She will be there,” he thought to himself, and mentally counted down backwards, just like he used to when a kid. He opened his eyes. She was, of course, still nowhere to be seen. He knew rationally it wouldn’t have worked, but the part of him that still lived in his childhood felt a deep pang of disappointment. He looked at the time and realized it was almost time to watch Spill the Tea with Chelsea. He brought out his headphones and placing them in his ears, blessed his phone plan’s data coverage, and opened the app that would let him view the show. 

As the interview ended, Lucas silently pumped his fist under the table. Hope had nailed it. He brought his hand up and reached for a piece of toast, slowly chewing off a bite. Suddenly, he could feel the air in the room shifting. There was a charge in the air that hadn’t been there previously. He slowly chewed his bite, and swallowed it. He closed his eyes again for a repeat of his childhood chant. And, this time? This time it worked. He looked up, just as she passed his table.

“Cara??” His voice came out a little croakier than he expected. He cleared his throat and tried again, a bit louder. “Cara?”

  
She turned, having just passed his table. He winced inwardly a little at the sight of the circles under her eyes. She was wearing an old ratty hoodie, with yoga pants. Both items seemed to have seen better days. Her hair looked lank and unwashed, her face shadowed in ways he’d never seen on her. He clenched one of his hands under the table to fight back the urge to get up and carry her off right now. She stared at him for a second in uncomprehending confusion. Giving a small shake of her head, she blinked and looked again.

  
“Lucas?” her voice was small and hesitant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruno Mars was the soundtrack for this chapter.  
> Sorry for the delay in getting this out. So many ideas in my head, I had to narrow it down and figure out what Lucas was doing. Then had to dig my own head out of a couple of books and sit down to narrate his further adventures. Hope you guys like it <3


	10. Operation Hannah Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby, Chelsea, Hope. (Chelsea doesn't have a lot to add, but spill the tea with Chelsea was too good to pass up haha)

"Helllo, lovely viewers! It’s me, Marguerite Vance, coming to you with a special segment of our morning show. We’ve titled this, Spill the Tea with Chelsea, and have brought you three of last summer’s Love Island contestants! In the wake of the Hannah Chisholm’s explosive book, the world of last summer’s Love Island contestants has been shocked back into our eye, and for winning couple Gary and Cara Rennell, maybe even more so! Today, I have with me, Hope, Bobby, and Chelsea. Say hi to your public, you three!”

“Hello Great Britain!” 

“Bobby, I don’t know if you really need to throw kisses to the world like that. We’re supposed to be being classy!”

  
“Chels, you’re saying that way louder than I think you should, say hi to your public, woman!”

  
“Oh! Hello all of you lovely people! Hope, look at the camera, not at me!”

  
“Hello, everyone, hello Marguerite, you’re looking amazing in that outfit.”

  
“Oh, why thank you, Hope! So Islanders, are you ready to get down to business?”

  
“Business? I thought we were just here to talk about someone’s skunky new book?”

  
“Exactly, Chelsea! That is our business today, of course. Would you like to be the first to offer your opinion on it?”

  
“I don’t believe a single word of that last chapter. I think Hannah made that up in order to mess with Cara. She was always so insanely jealous of Cara. It’s like, like, she thought she should have everything Cara had.”

  
“Why do you think that was?”

  
“Isn’t it obvious, Margeurite? She quite obviously played the public and for awhile played us with her innocent act. No one goes through that much of a transformation in just the two weeks she was gone without the original being a bit of a fake.”

  
“That’s a very good point, Hope. You guys missed it, still being in the Villa last summer on her return, but there were a few viewers that questioned that very thing. Did you see any proof of it while in the Villa? I have an interesting story that we found put up by Elisa Sanders just yesterday on her YouTube channel. Here, let me play that for you.”

  
“Ach, there’s no need Margeurite, Elisa personally sent us all the link to it.”

  
“Yes, but did she personally send it to all my viewers? I think we’ll still watch it.”

  
**Elisa’s video plays. Once done, the screen goes back to Chelsea, Bobby, and Hope sitting comfortably on a long couch. Hope looks bored, Bobby has a small grin, and Chelsea is practically bouncing in her seat.**

  
“Oh EM GEE Margeurite, she is so right! Honey does amazing things for your skin!”

  
“Margeurite, we have a way more explosive story for you than that, today. Bobby and I have kept this in since last summer. We felt there was no need to tarnish the obvious joy and love that Cara and Gary were having, and I guess, well, I guess I just wanted at least a couple of us to get the happy ending that most of us really wanted.”

  
“Oh, really, Hope? Would you care to make a comment at this time about your own time in the Villa and your relationship with Noah?”

  
“I don’t feel completely comfortable with that, but I’m here now so I may as well. I know that many thought I was completely unreasonable last summer, that I was possessive, controlling, and well, just a right bitch. The thing is,” there’s a pause, the sound of Hope’s inhale clearly audible over her mic, “The thing is, everyone was right. It was weird. I don’t think I’m normally that way in my relationships, or at least not to that extent. It was like having everything revolve just around the relationship and the same people day in and day out, it magnified the very worst parts of myself. I definitely did not like what I saw when the summer was over and I watched the events on my telly. Because of it, I have stepped back from dating for the next indeterminate while and will be solely focusing on my career and myself. Noah and I are slowly salvaging a type of friendship over the last couple of months and I wish him nothing but the very best with his new girlfriend. I sincerely hope he can find the happiness he so richly deserves.”

  
“Aww, Hope, I’m crying, you’ve made me cry.”

  
“Chelsea, girl, you’re suffocating me in this hug.”

  
“Oh, oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank-you Hope for that information. I know everyone’s been super curious about both you and Lucas as you both seemed to be avoiding the limelight. Do any of you know where Lucas is today?”

  
“No, actually, Margeurite, we don’t. Lucas has pulled his own disappearing act on us, starting yesterday, as well. He, of course, wishes Cara the very best and is just as concerned about her as the rest of us.”

  
“Bobby, I’ll ask you this directly. Do you feel that the last chapter, that the mystery elevator man is Gary?”

  
“Well, of course, I can’t say for sure, as I was safely tucked up into my bed at that hour and not riding about in an elevator looking for random hook-ups. I will say that if it was Gary, then I wish he’d just come out with it so that everyone can stop trying to suss out all the details. I think it was a cowardly trick on Hannah’s part and done merely to increase sales. My girlfriend, Emily,”

  
“Emily Anderson? From the Casa Amor days? Are you two officially an item, then?”

  
“Oh yeah, we’re definitely an item. We’ve now been official for the last month, and I am so grateful to the Love Island experience as this wouldn’t be possible without it. However, as I was saying, Emily read the whole book. She’s a voracious reader, reads things like in no time, whether it’s Anna Karenina or pieces of gossip garbage books, she’s not super discriminatory. She read the whole thing and said that while it was interesting because she’d been there for part of the summer and knew the people in the book, if she’d not been, she’d have found it the most boring thing she’s read in awhile. I think Hannah knew that she’d not sell it on the basis of her crap writing so had to do something to drive up the sales.”

  
“Interesting, Bobby. It sounds like none of you have a very high opinion of her.”

  
“We don’t. We can tell you why, too, if you’d like.”

  
“Oh Hope, I’d absolutely love to hear.”

“Hannah had a thing for Gary from day 1. Which everyone knew, even though Cara was coupled up with him on day 1 until Priya, of course, chose him. I know everyone remembers breakfastgate, I still see people using it on Twitter. I guess it was our summer’s version of #cherrygate, which was an infinitely more interesting drama, in my opinion. But, what people don’t realize, is that whether while she was still there before being kicked on day 3 or whether it developed in her two weeks off, she became convinced that Cara was the sole reason that she left, that without Cara there, Gary would have fallen madly in love with her, and she’d have been the winner of Love Island. When she came back, she apparently either tried it on with Gary and succeeded, or tried it on with him, then lied about it.”

  
“Henrik and I were there when she tried to tell Hope about it. She basically said she’d snogged Gary a lot on their date and was laughing about it.”

  
“I wasn’t having her come in and create all this drama that late in the game. I told her she’d be keeping that fact to herself. I told her if she breathed one word of it, I’d make sure her life in the Villa was hell for the remaining time and I’d make sure she got voted off.”

  
“We don’t really know why the producers didn’t choose to show any of this, but maybe they were just rooting for Cara and Gary as hard as the rest of us by this time.”

  
“Yeah, she changed her tune right quick afterwards. Started buttering Cara up, complimenting her and Gary, talking about what a strong couple they were. Anyway, a few weeks ago, as her book was ready to go to the publisher’s, her attorneys contacted me. She’d written about the whole exchange in there and needed my permission to keep it in there, since the show had never aired it. I told them, hell no. So, that’s probably why, if it is true, that she kissed Gary, that it’s not in the book.”

  
“What made you guys decide to break your silence today?”

  
“We don’t think it’s fair that Hannah is able to just come along and treat Cara this way. We don’t believe it’s for anyone’s benefit but her own that she did this. We’re here today because we are on Cara’s side and don’t believe that Hannah’s words should be given the power they have been.”

  
“Thank-you, you three, for being here today! Coming up in the next hour, find out the newest twist this season’s Love Island will be giving its viewers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those that have done the Noah route, I know she's a lot different towards MC on it. But, since I've never done it, I've always felt some sympathy for Hope.


	11. Croissants and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, self-care needs to be pushed towards a person. Thank-you everyone for keeping reading about Cara and Lucas <3

Lucas jumped up from his seat. He noticed a panicked look in Cara’s eyes, her head turned slightly over her shoulder, looking around to see if anyone else was there with him. 

  
“Cara. It’s just me. No one knows where I am. No one that you don’t want to know knows where you are. I promise.”

  
She turned to him, her eyes widening a moment before narrowing just a little.

  
“You know. I didn’t tell you.”

  
He spread his arms in a placating gesture and shrugged his shoulders.

  
“I’m a persistent fucker when I want to be. It wasn’t Jo who told me by the way, I think she’s managing to keep this secret.”

  
Her shoulders seemed to sag, with relief? He wasn’t sure. 

  
“Would you like to sit down with me to eat?”

  
He was thinking it looked like by her face that she’d barely had anything to eat the last couple of days. His eyes traveled over her, noting the lines of exhaustion on her face, the defeated posture she currently had. This wasn’t anything like what he was used to seeing in her. One of her most attractive qualities always had been her open and exuberant approach to life. He noticed her tiny hand clench and unclench briefly at her side. It intrigued him. His eyes went back to her face to find her looking at him, her expression seeming both resigned and, could that be a slight little smile at the corner of her lips? Might she have a bit of pleasure in seeing him here?

  
“I guess I could do that.”

“Excellent.” He stood up and going to the chair across the table from him, he pulled it out for her. She looked at him with a slightly startled look, like she wasn’t used to anyone doing this for her. After she slid into the seat, Lucas pushed it gently in, before returning to his own. The owner/manager woman he’d first spoken with bustled over just then.

  
“Och, hello dearie. What will you have this morning? Can I get you something to eat? I dare say, you need just a mite more than what you’ve been having.”

  
“Just coffee, with milk, please.”

  
The woman tsked her tongue. Lucas looked incredulously at Cara, he remembered her time at the Villa. She’d always loved food, having a generous appetite and laughing when Bobby would poke fun at her for it, he remembered one scene from after he left where Gary had even teased her about eating like a baby dinosaur. He turned towards the woman.

  
“Would you please bring a croissant if you have one? With some strawberry jam? And also two eggs, fried, hard, please.”

  
“Oh certainly. Maybe you can talk some sense into this young’un. I hate seeing a guest wasting away when we have all this excellent food going to waste in the kitchen.”

  
Cara looked daggers across the table at him. He flexed his fingers against his thumb under the table. The woman took Lucas’s plate and quickly navigated her way through the tables, back towards the kitchen.

  
“I am not hungry Lucas. Why the hell would you order me food?”

  
“I really do believe that you should attempt at least eating a couple of bites. In my experience, sometimes appetite returns when you least expect it.”

  
“I don’t really think that’s your decision to make, Lucas.”

  
“I apologize for saying this, Cara, but it really does look like if you don’t eat, you’ll be headed towards illness soon. Do you want to feel worse than you already do? I promise, if you try a bite or two and still cannot eat, I’ll finish it off for you. But, I must insist you eat at least a couple bites.”

Her shoulders slumped, and she looked up at him from lowered lashes.

  
“Okay. I’ll do it.”

  
Something in Lucas loosened at her giving in. He just wanted desperately to help her feel better. He couldn’t fix her emotional state, so he’d focus on doing what he could for her physical state. 

  
“Thank-you Cara. And thank-you for having breakfast with me.”

  
She looked up at him then, a challenge in her eyes. 

  
“While we’re waiting, you can tell me why you’re here though and how you found me.”

  
Lucas leaned forward, nudging his cup of coffee towards her. “Here. Have this. I had just requested another cup before you came down. It’s hot and I used milk in this cup.”

  
She wrapped her hands gratefully around it, bringing it up to her lips and taking a small sip. He watched her intently, to make sure she was drinking it, before leaning back in his seat.

  
“Rahim told me. After I asked him a couple of times and after avoiding my phone calls for a bit. I had to talk to Jo. She screamed at me and said very Jo-like things, said we were all expecting her to be the one to crack or some such nonsense. Really. I don’t know how you manage to be around her for longer than a minute.”

  
Cara sighed, “Jo’s okay once you get past her defensive aggression.” Her expression lightened for a moment, a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “Did she hang up on you?”

  
“Oh she most definitely did.”

  
“I think she’d be happier in the past with a receiver she could really slam down on someone.”

  
“I assume you’ve been on the other end of a Jo hang-up?”

  
Cara laughed a little, “Most definitely. I often had to call up to speak with Rahim during the wedd...” her voice trailed off and the smile dropped off her face. 

  
Lucas jumped into the silence that fell.

  
“So, Rahim finally told me after I promised on my motorbike that I meant you no harm and just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Silently, he thought to himself, Rahim, you owe me for making it sound like you didn’t just give over the information after a five minute conversation.

“Well. I am. Okay that is. I just needed some quiet to think. If that’s all you’re here for, feel free to head back after breakfast.”

  
He staggered back into his chair, clutching his chest dramatically. “Oof, woman, you wound me. Setting me back onto a ten hour drive so soon after I’ve gotten here. I shall require copious amounts of coffee to manage that drive so soon after making it. Could we not at least make it through lunch before you kick me to the curb?” He winked at her to let her know he was just teasing a little. He was trying get them further away from her thoughts of Rahim, Jo, and the wedding. It seemed to be working as she looked him over, the small smile returning to her lips. 

  
“Oh fine, you may stay through lunchtime.”

  
“Ta.”

  
“How’d you find out where I was staying though? I didn’t tell Rahim that at all. Or anyone.”

“I just picked two or three likely spots you may be at. This was the only one that served breakfast to the public. As I just arrived this morning, I figured I’d have breakfast then start looking around for you. Of course, this place is such a large metropolis, I thought it might be weeks before I found you.”

  
“Oh, it’s definitely quite large. Dwarves London by a fair bit, doesn’t it?”

  
“Certainly. London is a tiny village in comparison.”

  
She laughed a little again at the very dry tone Lucas had adopted for this exchange. His heart lightened a little at hearing it. Maybe he could help her at least forget for a few minutes. He might be worth more than just making sure she ate.

  
Just then, the woman came back, her bobbed hair bouncing against the back of her neck as she towed two small plates towards them.

  
“Here you go, a fresh baked croissant, from our very own Cromarty’s Cakes down the way and two fried eggs.” She smiled warmly at them both as she laid the plates in front of Cara. She bustled back into the kitchen and returned a moment later with a cup of coffee. Spotting the cup Cara was still holding, she slid it in front of Lucas.

  
“Thank-you, Mrs. Raeburn.” Cara said softly, “The croissant looks amazing.”

  
“I should hope so! My own daughter runs it, hand delivers me fresh goods each morning to serve.”

  
“Thank-you so much, Mrs. Raeburn.” Lucas said, picking up his mug and taking a small swallow of his coffee.

  
“You’re quite welcome, my dears.” With that, she turned around and moved out of the room again.

  
Lucas raised his eyebrows at her in an expression silently demanding she keep her promise to him. Cara sighed seeing it and put her coffee cup down before tearing a bit of croissant off. She slowly put it in her mouth and chewed. Her eyes closed a moment and she looked at peace for that split second. 

  
“Oh my god. This croissant is amazing.” She tore off another piece and quickly put it in her mouth, chewing faster now. Lucas looked at her with an amused smile on her face. She opened her eyes and looking at him a moment, she ate more of the croissant. It was finished quickly, and she reached for the plate of eggs, picking up a fork and attacking them as well. When she was finished with the eggs, she dropped the fork on her plate with a small clang. She looked down at the table for a moment, before raising her eyes up to meet his.

  
“You were right. I needed that. Don’t get used to me agreeing that you were right by the way, you only have four hours left.” She stuck out the tip of her tongue at him.

“Oh? You sure you won’t want to just stretch breakfast all the way into afternoon tea time then?”

  
She widened her eyes at him before laughing a bit. 

  
“So, what are your plans for today?” he asked her, watching as she picked her cup of coffee back up. She drank long from it, before lowering her cup and placing it back down on the table. She seemed to shrink back into herself, drawing her hands up into the sleeves of her overlarge hoodie. Lucas wondered briefly if she’d actually brought one of Gary’s, but didn’t think the man would own a fuschia one. 

  
“Nothing. Just going back to my room to sleep more, lay around and think, write a dozen different attempts at a letter or a text and erase all of them.”

  
“Hm. Well that doesn’t bode well for my four remaining hours. Would you like me to come up there with you? We could talk instead of your current plans?”

  
“I don’t know. Mrs. Raeburn may be shocked to the very marrow of her Scottish soul.”

  
“I’m fairly certain Mrs. Raeburn has seen significantly worse running an inn that gets Americans in it. And probably Irish. They’re not all Shannon, you know.” Lucas mock shuddered.

  
Cara rolled her eyes. “Your poshness is showing, love.” she said in a mock Priya accent, before grinning at him and sticking her tongue out again at him, showing that she was just being silly.

  
Lucas leaned his head back and laughed deeply. It’d been awhile since he’d felt a laugh run this deep in him. He figured part of it was simple relief that he was here, that Cara was surviving, even if not very well at the moment, and lack of sleep seemed to be making him feel a bit slap-happy.

  
“You can come up. If you really want to.” Her humor had faded and she drew her knees up and hugged them. Lucas’s laugh ended at the sight, his heart aching a little seeing it.

  
“The bigger question is, Cara, do you want me to?”

  
She looked down at the table and said in a low tone.

  
“Yes. Yes, I really think I would.”

  
“Then I’d be honored to see your room.”

After paying the bill for his own breakfast, he followed Cara out of the room, and up the stairs. He watched her posture change as she seemed to accept that he was there. It went from slumped, to a slow, deep, inhale and then her spine straightened. He could tell from watching how she was going up the steps that she was carrying a lot of tension in her. His fingers ached to work the knots out of her back, to stretch her until her muscles loosened up and she had the relaxed look he was used to seeing from her. She stopped at the third door on the left at the top of the stairs and bringing an old fashioned key on a paddle out from her hoodie pocket, she unlocked the door. Lucas silently approved that she wasn’t letting the small, old-fashioned feel of the place lull her into a sense of unwarranted security. Swinging it wide open, she gestured at him to enter before her. He did, looking around at a small room with a warm wooden floor, a king size wrought iron bed, with a beautifully made quilt pushed to the bottom on it, the bright oranges and red bringing a cheery note to the room. He looked around, at the small iron desk with a chair up to it, on which sat a few crumpled balls of paper and a notepad. While the room was small and not a luxurious one, he fully approved of it. It was warm and comforting in its small size. There was a burnt orange armchair tucked into the corner of the room. He looked at her and gestured with his fingers at it.

  
“Would you like the comfortable chair or would you like me to have it?”

  
“You can sit there. I’ll sit on the bed.”

  
Lucas sat down in the chair, leaning back into it, and resting his head back against it for a moment. He could feel the tiredness from his all night drive seeping into him. He opened his eyes to see her staring intently at him. He smiled at her.

  
“Did you drive all night? I don’t know why that’s just hitting me. I think I thought maybe you stayed somewhere else last night. Did you?”

  
“I drove all night after wrapping up some details at home. I took about a hour nap on the outskirts of town this morning though.”

  
“Oh my days, Lucas, you must be knackered beyond comprehension!”

  
“I’ll do. I’ve gone on less sleep than this while getting my degree.”

  
“Seriously? What are your plans? Will you be getting a room here and sleeping before heading back?”

  
Lucas straightened, and leaned his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to stare deeply into her eyes.

  
“Cara, love, I’m here as long as you need me or will have me.”

  
Her eyes filled with tears at the gentle tone he was using. She swiped angrily at them with her hoodie sleeves.   
“I feel like,” her breath hitched, like tears were trapped in her throat, “I shouldn’t keep you here. I feel like I should tell you I’m fine and have you go.”

“But you don’t want to?”

  
She shook her head, the tears falling freely from her eyes now. Lucas got up slowly from the chair, she looked up at him with a look of pure panic for a moment before dropping her head, into her hands. It broke him a little, thinking that she thought he would be heading out the door at the admission. He crossed the three steps to the bed, dropping to his knees. He grabbed her hands, pulling them gently from her face. She looked at him, before closing her eyes. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss onto her forehead. 

  
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” he leaned in close to her ear and whispered the words.

  
She broke down into sobs at this, he stood up, and with his hands on her shoulders, lowered himself beside her onto the bed. A distant part of his mind noted it was an excellent mattress. He drew her onto his lap, wrapping an arm around her waist, and putting his other hand on her head, pulling it in against his chest. He rocked himself back and forth, not saying anything, just sporadically making shhhing noises. Her crying gradually lessened. He could feel the tears against his shirt, the dampness slightly uncomfortable. He didn’t move his hand though, keeping her head pressed gently against his chest. He lowered his chin onto the top of her head. Her hair had a rough, unwashed feel to it. He didn’t care. He was finally holding her. He was finally comforting her. She gradually pulled herself back together, he could feel her straightening a little under his hold. When he figured she had mostly cried herself out, he figured he’d use a little humor to help her to the next step.

  
Tilting his head so his lips were close to her ear, he softly said into it, “Cara Duncan, please tell me there are shower facilities in this place. I feel like I stink of the road right now and I am rubbing road stench all over you.” He winced inwardly a little at how dumb it sounded to him. 

  
He felt her smile against his chest, her voice coming muffled from against him.

  
“I think I’m probably stinky enough, thank-you. There is a tub in my bathroom, but, well, I’m embarrassed now to say. I haven’t used it.” her voice had dropped down to a tiny whisper as she said it.

  
“Well. Why don’t we fix that?”

  
She sat up quickly at that. “Lucas! Are you trying to get me into a bath with you? Really?” her voice had a note of incredulity to it.

  
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No, of course not, I’m offering to help draw you a bath and not be in it while you are.” Inside he was thinking that if she resisted he’d maybe end up in there just to ensure she got clean. He knew himself how feeling clean could help you immensely.

“Oh. Well. I guess that’s okay.”

  
He gently shifted her off his lap and stood up. “Is the bath through there?” he pointed at the closed door on the other side of the bed. Cara nodded at him. “Okay, let me go in and get the water running for you. Are you a scalding hot bath person or a lukewarm one?”

  
“The hotter the better. But, Lucas, you don’t need to do this for me.”

  
“Yes. I do.” He walked towards the bathroom, throwing a look over his shoulder, daring her to argue with him. She didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave feedback! It means a lot to me :)


	12. Washing the Tears Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes roamed briefly over the curve of her shoulder, and down her back, noting her spine sticking out in small knobs before the bubbles claimed the skin from his view.

Lucas looked around the bathroom after he got in there. He had to give this place credit, they definitely did a nice bathroom. The bathtub was nice and deep, the coloring scheme of a lighter green (he thought it was sage green from a prior discussion with Chelsea) mixed with a dark brown with dark green accents was very soothing. He looked to make sure there were towels available. Cara hadn’t been lying if the towels were any indicator. None seemed to have been previously used for anything more than hand-drying. Judging by the unmade bed, there had been no type of housekeeping done in here yet. He shook his head, poor girl, she would feel so much better both physically and emotionally after a hot soak. He went to the taps and turned them on, checking the temperature until he felt it was adequate, then stopping up the drain, looked about for anything to put in it. On the ledge behind the bath was a dark wooden tray with a few promising looking bottles. He picked them up, noticing a lavender bubble bath. Perfect. He poured a healthy dollop into the water, watching the bubbles begin to froth up. He carefully dried his hands on one of the hand towels next to the sink and walked back into the bedroom. Cara was still sitting on the bed, her hands in her sleeves, her knees stretching out the oversize hoodie, as she wrapped her arms around her knees. 

  
“I’ve gotten the bath started. Do you want to go in and get into it?”

  
She looked up at him, her eyes wide, rimmed in red from her earlier crying fit. She lowered her head back down and whispered something he couldn’t quite make out.

  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear, can you repeat, please?”

  
Cara cleared her throat and began again, “Will you please sit in there with me? Please?”

  
“In the bathtub? Are you sure you want me in there with you?”

  
She jerked her head up, lines creasing her forehead, “No, no. I’m not hitting on you. Just, can you, just, sit in the bathroom with me while I’m in the bath? Please?”, she bit her lip, while still looking at him.

  
Lucas felt his heart melt a little at how vulnerable she looked just then.

  
“Of course. I can keep you company. Would you like to go in and get in? I put bubbles in there, so you can get in and covered and not feel self-conscious. Here, let me help you up.” He walked towards the bed slowly, holding out his hand as she unclasped her hands and laid her hand in his. He wrapped his long fingers around her tiny ones, looking down at their clasped hands. He filed away the feeling of rightness this action gave him to think on later. It wasn’t the time to get lost in thought. He tugged gently and she popped her legs out from under the hoodie and standing slowly, her body just a few centimeters from him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and squeezed her into a soft hug, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.  
“You can do this, Cara, darling. I promise.” He felt her shoulders straighten a little at the promise and she stepped back away from him and smiling a tiny smile of gratitude, she turned and walked into the bathroom. Lucas stood there a moment after she disappeared, still feeling the lingering touch of her body against his. He shook his head to clear the thoughts and looked around the room. He needed a place to sit. Spotting the small desk chair pulled in at the little writing area, he smiled to himself, “Perfect”, he thought as he went to grab it. He looked down at the desk, noticing the latest scrap of paper sitting there, blotched with dried moisture from tears, he supposed. 

  
Dear Gary,  
I don’t really know what to say. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t matter whether she is telling the truth or lying about the late night texts, the fact is, the elevator happened. That was the absolute best night of my life and now” 

  
There was more but part of it was crossed out and Lucas felt like he was intruding in a way that wasn’t acceptable in any way. He reluctantly dragged his eyes away and picked up the chair and called into the other room.

  
“Are you in yet? May I enter?”

  
A moment passed and then he heard Cara’s voice call back, “Yes. You definitely listened to me about liking a hot bath!” he heard an intake of breath through the open door and then a gasp as she lowered herself a bit further into the bath.   
Taking his chair, Lucas went into the bathroom. Cara was sitting in the bath, her knees pulled up again, hugging them, her lightly tanned kneecaps jutting out of the white bubbles in the bath, the water and bubbles covered her to her shoulders. He smiled reassuringly at her, while also trying to not let his eyes roam the skin he could see like a creep. Taking his chair, he turned it about and straddling it, sat a bit away from the tub. She looked back down at the water, he would have assumed she was watching the colors refracting in the bubbles but knew that her mind had taken her away from there. Whatever she was looking at, it was in her mind, not the bath. He leaned his elbows on the chair back and leaned forward. His eyes roamed briefly over the curve of her shoulder, and down her back, noting her spine sticking out in small knobs before the bubbles claimed the skin from his view.

He waited a moment, but she just continued to sit there, not moving, not speaking. He tapped his fingers against the chairback and allowed his eyes to observe the swoop of her collarbone, the pointy little chin, resting on her knees, the almost elven point on her ear, the dark hair curling from the humidity of the bath. Finally, feeling like he was edging into perverted man land, he cleared his throat. She looked over at him. He met her eyes and smiled slowly, allowing some of the smolder he practiced on women from an early point in his boyhood leak through. It was unintentional, he mostly always did it now if he found a woman attractive, even if he didn't mean to.

"Doesn't bathing typically involve, I don't know, actual cleansing of the body and hair?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, still smiling. She shrugged her shoulders and stared back down at the water.

"I just don't really have the energy to do anything. I just want to sleep, Lucas, I just want to hide and be done with everything."

He made a soft sound of sympathy deep in his throat. "Look, I know it seems a monumental effort, but I promise you, it's worth it. Just take the time to wash the last few days off your skin and out of your hair. You've been on trains and laying about in some of the same clothes for over a day. Just wash that off."

She looked up at him with a flash of despondence in her eyes. "I can't wash what happened off, no matter how hard I try."

"Oh I know, love, that won't happen. But what will happen is you will feel just a tiny bit better. Isn't that worth it?"

"Probably not. No. I don't know."

Lucas clenched his hands around the top of the chair, debating his next words very carefully. When he thought he had a sufficient grasp on exactly how he wanted to word it, he spoke.

"I could get in there with you. Just to help you. Let me do the work Cara, you can enjoy the results. Can we come to that compromise at least? I promise, there's nothing shady about the request. I'll even keep my boxers on if you prefer. I promise, I'll just help wash your back, shoulders, arms and your hair. It will feel amazing and you can do the rest or not. Up to you. Deal?" He kept his tone sincere and casual, glad that she wasn't close enough to tell how fast his heart was racing.

She bit her lip, looking at him, examining his face closely. He seemed to pass some test as she offered him a tiny nod, "Deal."

"Alright. But you must turn your head, otherwise I might feel too much like I am some sort of stripper."

That got him a small laugh out of her and she theatrically turned her head to the side. Lucas stood up, quickly taking off his charcoal V-neck t-shirt, he needed to change it anyway, Cara's tears had dried stiffly. He pulled his jeans down and stepped out of them, looking down and realizing by leaving his boxers on he'd have to go commando after. He wrinkled his nose at the thought.

"Cara. Boxers on or off? Your choice." He really, really hoped she said off. He did not fancy the idea of sitting in soaked boxers and then later having to wear jeans with nothing beneath them.

She sighed softly. "Off. I would hate the feel of non bathing suit material clinging to me, I wouldn't want you to have to suffer that."

"Oh thank Christ woman. I was just thinking on that." A small giggle escaped her at his tone, almost like she couldn't help it. He smiled a little and quickly hooked his boxers down to the floor. 

"Scoot up, I don't want to be crawling on your back upon getting in." He waited until she'd scooted forward a few inches before stepping into the water. He sucked in a breath at the heat of it, but luckily, he liked it quite hot as well. He slowly lowered himself into the water, letting himself adjust to the temperature. Once he was all the way in, he tapped her shoulder and said "You can look now, I think I'm decent enough." She turned her head and looked him in the face, eyebrow raised. She pointedly did not look down, her eyes stopping their look at his collarbone. Then she turned back around. 

"Right. So, what shall I wash first? Hair? Or back?"

"Mm. Please do my hair first. I can't remember the last time someone washed my hair for me not at the hair place. Maybe my mum when I was little."

"Oh, you'll quite enjoy this I think, remember, physiotherapist here, magic fingers," he said in a dramatic voice, wiggling his fingers along the side of her head. She giggled again.

He searched behind him for the shampoo and conditioner bottles. Luckily, there were two sample bottles of each, as he thought Cara's hair might be thick enough that one just wouldn't cut it. Once he had them lined up on the edge of the water, he briefly rose out of the water to snag the shower nozzle. Turning it on, he checked the temperature with his wrist and then started running the water over her hair, using one hand to work the water through until it was thoroughly wet. Turning off the spray, he opened one of the shampoo bottles and dumped its contents onto the top of her head. He then began to massage the shampoo through her hair, taking care to massage her scalp as he went. He tried to keep his entire focus on just getting the shampoo into her hair but he couldn't help his eyes straying to the line of her shoulders as she sat with her head leaned back into his fingers. She now had it tilted so far back that he could tell she had her eyes shut. His fingers rounded behind her ears, massaging lightly when she suddenly let out a small moan.

"Lucas. You were right. Magic fingers. Oh my God, it's amazing."

His fingers stilled for a split second as he almost forgot how to breathe. Pulling in a deep breathe, he tried to ignore the wave of desire that had swamped him at the sound of her moan. How many times had he imagined hearing that under other circumstances? His mind frantically searched for a distraction, something, anything. Latching onto something, he didn't even bother to think until the words were out of his mouth that he was about to tell her something that very few people that he'd met after his teen years knew about him.

"I know a fair bit about feeling alone, about being the center of unwanted attention," he finished with the one bottle of shampoo and turned back on the water to rinse her hair. He then dumped the second bottle into his hand and began massaging again.

"Tell me about it?"

"Well. As you've probably noticed, I don't fit the typical mold of "posh boy", eh?" his tone on the words posh boy drops into a mocking tone, "But the truth of the matter is, I'm from a family with a title." He felt her shoulders stiffen a little in surprise, but she stayed quiet under the attention of his fingertips. "My father was a second son, not in line for the title. Thirty-two years ago, he went off to visit South Korea. I'm not sure why. While there, he met my mother. He married her, while still over there. Then arrived home with a Korean bride. Now, these days, it'd be a little less shocking most likely, considering one of the Princes married a commoner and the other Prince married an American, but back then, well, it created quite the stir. She had a son, my older brother, within a year of getting married, then I came along twenty-nine years ago. Because my father was a second son, by the time I arrived, the uproar had died down a bit, or else they did a decent job of sheltering my brother and me from it." 

He turned back on the water and rinsed out the second shampooing. After turning it back off, he picked up one of the bottles of conditioner and dumped it into his palm. He was pausing to consider his next words. This part was the harder part of the story.

"When I was six, my parents died in an auto accident, coming home from a party. I still remember the nanny opening the door of our house. I had snuck out of bed, I already had issues sleeping back then, and was sitting on the landing of the stairs looking through the railings at the door. My uncle and auntie were there on the steps. My father's older brother and his wife. I wondered why they were, where were my parents? They leaned forward, I could tell their voices were urgent, and something scared me badly watching them. I felt frozen to the step, shock, I now know. My nanny, well, she backed up from them, her hand going to her mouth and covering it, then she said 'oh those poor wee lads', she was Scottish. I remember wondering what lads she was talking about. After that, I don't remember much. I remember being in the church for the funeral. I remember my brother helping me to pack a bag with my favorite books in it and my little stuffed rabbit." He could hear his voice in his own ears, the hoarseness of it as the images came flooding back into his mind. "Then nothing for a bit. But after that, the thing I remember most is the whispers, the pointing fingers when I started at my new boarding school with my brother and my cousins. Not only was I a second son of a second son, but I looked different from everyone but my brother. No one around us looked anything like us, even our own family, as my uncle was raising us by then. I mostly wanted to just hide away in my room and play Nintendo or Sega, but, well, it wasn't really an option most of the time. So, while I've not been exactly where you are, I do get it a bit, Cara." He finished massaging the conditioner into her hair, cleared his throat, and then picked up the soap, creating a later that he spread onto her shoulders, and down her back. He worked his thumbs up the sides of her spine before digging into the knots on her neck. Her head fell back against his hands. 

"Lucas. That must have been horrible. I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"Well, you wouldn't, we didn't know one another growing up and I don't really talk about it. I already feel different from most around me for this reason or that, no reason to increase it." 

She opened her eyes. "I find it an honor you told me then." Smiling up at him, she reached her hands back and wrapping them around his wrists she squeezed briefly before letting go. He continued to massage her back, feeling the tension leave her little by little. After a few minutes, he turned the water back on and rinsed all the conditioner out of her hair and the soap off her back. Resting his hands briefly on her shoulders once done, he squeezed them. 

"I'll get out now, if you'd like to turn your head to preserve my and your dignity, feel free to do so." He said, smiling at her when she looked back over her shoulder at him. He noticed her eyes glazing over a little as they finally traveled below his collarbone to the rest of his chest and then back up to his eyes. Smiling impishly, she turned her head away, as he lifted himself out of the bath. Drying himself off, he finished by slipping his boxers back on. 

"Okay, I'm decent now." She turned back around and smiled again. He reached for a towel, spreading it wide in his arms, taking a step back. He gestured at her before pointedly turning his head to the side as she stepped from the tub. He wrapped the towel around her head and began rubbing her hair. "Can you continue this, I'll reach for a towel for the rest of you." She took over working the towel through her hair while he wrapped one around her body, securing it so it didn't slide from her when he let go. She brought the towel from her head and looked up at him, their bodies only centimeters apart. Their eyes locked and Lucas felt for a second like he was drowning in her hazel eyes. She reached up and lightly traced her fingertips down his jawline, then standing on her tiptoes brought her mouth to his. The kiss started out soft, but within just a second, he had his hands locked around the sides of her face and the kiss deepened, their tongues pushing urgently against one another, he could hear the small sounds she was making deep in her throat. After a few more seconds, his mind finally asserted itself and began yelling at him.

He broke the kiss, gasping from the intensity of it. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he stepped back a little until his back bumped against the sink vanity. 

"Cara. While that was amazing, and I bloody loved every moment of it, I refuse to be your rebound. I am here for you, I care about you, and fuck, trust me when I say that one day soon I hope to have that happen again, today is not that day."

Her eyes dropped, tears once more filling them.

"Christ, Lucas, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I...I..." her hands wrung together in front of her, her fingers frantically pulling at one another.

"Cara, love, look at me." She looked up at him. "I'm not mad it happened. I'm not even upset. But it's about the worst thing either of us could do to the other right now. If the time is ever right, I'll be sure to let you know." He smiled at her, and was relieved to see an answering one on her face. Gathering her into his arms, he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders, for a brief, tight hug. Breaking the hug, he tugged her hands apart and held onto them. "Now, why don't we go have a nap? I'm dead on my feet still and you need more sleep as well."

"Yes. And, Lucas?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank-you."

He squeezed her hand and led her back into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think this chapter would have a kiss :O but there you go.


	13. Aliens and Other Dimensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have a question for you," he felt her hand tense again in his hand, but he kept up the slow, light massage, "Do you believe in aliens?" her hand went limp again, and he could hear her sigh audibly, in relief. 
> 
> Any feedback is always welcome! <3

As they neared the bed, Lucas dropped Cara's hand.

"If you'd like to put on a t shirt or whatever you would like to wear to sleep, I'll just make up the bed."

She looked at him slightly confused, "You're going to make the bed so that we can, just unmake the bed?" 

He paused, "It feels uncomfortable to try to arrange blankets after getting into bed," he ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "I guess, well, I guess I just like things tidy."

"When you say it like that, it makes a load of sense. So frustrating when blankets are twisted about your legs."

"Yes, that." He didn't want to exactly share that it was more that messes threatened to unleash chaos inside of him. She walked away, over to where she had a small bag. He mentally berated himself. He should have known she wouldn't have a lot of luggage, she seemed to have left and ran fairly quickly up here. He could have done better by grabbing a few clothing items for her. 

"Would you like to go shopping later? Or tomorrow? I mean, unless I still must leave directly after lunch, then I would say no shopping for you."

She turned to look at him, the puzzled look returning to her face. "You want to … shop? Here? In Cromarty? I'm not sure how much is about."

He laced his hands behind his head and looked at her, noting when her eyes slipped to slide over his six pack. 

"I just think you maybe don't have a ton of things with you. I can help you get all the items you may need."

She looked down at her bag, then back up at him, "Oh. Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't have all the things I need. I've just been making do. It didn't seem to matter that much." She shrugged. 

"Great. It's decided then. I'm staying beyond tea time and tomorrow we will shop for your necessaries."

"Have you always been this bossy??"

"It's not bossy, it's decisive and pretty much, yes, for the most part. Now, get dressed, while I make this bed. You need sleep, I need sleep, so sleep we shall get."

She drew up her shoulders, and smirking at him, "Oh? I don't remember inviting you to share my room? Are you just taking advantage of me for a free room?"

He grinned at her, doing a mental fist pump that she was actually joking about a little, that some of her normal sassiness was asserting itself again. 

"Of course I am. But you've gotten a free back massage, and now someone making your bed for you. I should think you may have the better end of the bargain, hm?" he raised his eyebrow at her and gestured his fingers at her bag. She shook her head and turned to it, while he went to the bed and began smoothing the duvet out. He took and plumped the pillows up, noting that one was stiff with dried tears, a surge of anger filling him for a moment. He wanted to punch that blonde asshole so badly. Since getting here his main focus had been on helping Cara, taking care of her, but the anger at Gary simmered just below the surface at all times. He also ached to check his phone to see how things were going with Edward and the former Islanders but didn't think it was appropriate. He figured he'd probably have time after waking up, he never slept very long anyway and Cara should still be asleep. He finished up with the bed and looked up, just in time to watch Cara's towel drop to the floor as she faced away from him. He flexed his fingers, unable to take his eyes away from the line of her back flowing gracefully into the swell of her round ass, then slowly sloping away into two very well-toned legs. She reached for a t-shirt, unaware of him watching. He could feel the heat in his face. Every part of his body screamed that she was his, to just show her, to take her. Mentally cursing himself, he turned away and walked into the bathroom.

"I'll be right out, feel free to slip into the bed, if you'd like."

He went in and stared at himself in the mirror, flexing his fingers against his thumbs, counting down, willing the heat in his body to subside, and for his bloody erection to just go the fuck away, it was most definitely not the time for it. He thought of the last fight with Blake, of her screaming at him that he couldn't get it up unless there was kink involved. It was true, with her he wasn't able to, but it was not true that was the only time he became aroused. With Blake, there'd just been so little outside of her matching him energy level and kink to become excited about. He pictured Blake at her most truly hideous, with her face screwed up, her hair lankly hanging around her face, looking for all the world like a drowned meerkat. He could feel himself calming down. He had spoken truth to Cara earlier. If they did anything now, it wouldn't be for the reasons he wanted it to be for, and they'd end up strangers within just a few weeks. He couldn't have that. If he ended up not being able to have her as his, he still wanted her in his life, he wanted it worse than he could remember wanting anything or anyone before. Sighing, he picked up the tube of toothpaste next to the sink, thankful that Cara must have at least been brushing her teeth all this time. Taking a finger he used some toothpaste to swirl around in his mouth. He could go to his car and get his bag but he's not been this tired in so very long. All he wanted to do was crawl into that bed, wrap Cara up in his arms and sleep as long and as deeply as possible. After finishing finger brushing his teeth (he grimaced even thinking that), he left the bathroom, being sure to close the door. The bedroom was dim, from the curtains being drawn and Lucas could feel sleep stretching out tendrils to touch at him. He turned to the bed and Cara was sitting in it, the covers up to her shoulders, looking at him. Her expression was one of such naked need mixed with fear that he felt the protective streak towards her rise up in him again. 

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, not wanting to startle her as he moved slowly towards the bed.

"I...well, I really want you to sleep with me.." she hesitated before plunging forward, "but the kiss? I liked it Lucas, but you were right. It was a mistake. I'm scared it's a mistake we'll make again." She sucked her lower lip between her teeth, in worry. 

"Shh, Cara. I promise you. I won't let it happen. It took me by surprise in the bathroom. But, if I really wanted to take advantage of you or really just wanted to fuck you, we'd still be in there. And trust me, you'd be not be regretting it at this very second. Maybe later, but not during."

She looked up at him, her cheeks staining a deep red, her mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. He thought he detected a look of curiosity in her eyes, under the wide eyed startled look. He laughed a little. 

"Seriously, I promise, nothing will happen, other than you'll have someone next to you who cares about you, and you'll sleep. If you seem to be having a nightmare, I'll wake you up." He remembered from the little he'd been in the Villa and the one night she was in the same bed as him that she could have a tendency even back then to sometimes seem like her dreams weren't that great. As King of nights of broken sleep, he could empathize. He watched as she sat up a little straighter, her face contemplative as she weighed his words.

"Okay," she flipped the covers open, "that'll work then."

"Thank Christ. I can't wait to sleep." He finished walking to the bed and climbed in on the side she'd flicked the covers down on. He stayed sitting up, since she was. He looked questioningly at her, "You don't have some weird sleep sitting up thing I need to be aware of, do you?"

Her brow furrowed for a moment in confusion, before a small smile peeked out. "No, I just, it's different?" her voice rose up on the last word.

"Shh, lay down." He looked at her as he made the quiet command. She sat a moment longer, staring hard at his face, he raised one eyebrow at her, then repeated it. "Lay down, Cara." She lay down quickly, almost in a huff and stared up at him where he still sat.

"Bossy!"

"Mhm."

"I think maybe, I like it." she said, a small grin playing on her lips.

"I know."

"Modest, too?"

"Mhm." He laid down and propping his head on a hand, looked down at her. "How would you like to do this? I can stay on my side of the bed, you on yours, I can spoon you, you can lay on my chest, this decision is all yours."

"Hmm. Will you just lay next to me and hold my hand?"

"Yes. I did say, it was your decision."

"Oh? So had I said, you sleep with your head down there and my feet in your face, you would have?" her voice held a light teasing note.

"No. Don't be ridiculous. Such a smartass." He said in a partly warning tone, partly teasing tone.

"I can be, yeah."

"Yes. It can sometimes even be adorable. But now? It's time to be winding down for rest."

She grumbled a little, but snuggled deeper under the covers. He reached out for her hand, and she laid it in his. It was only now that he noticed he was holding her left hand and there were no rings on it. He unconsciously stroked his thumb over where her wedding ring once sat. He felt her hand tense in his, and he moved his thumb down a little lower, pressing into her hand just a little, massaging in a soft circle until she relaxed again in his hand. He could feel she didn't want to speak of it right now, and he didn't want to push her and get her out of the state of semi-calm she seemed to be moving into right now. He decided to go for a lighter topic.

"I have a question for you," he felt her hand tense again in his hand, but he kept up the slow, light massage, "Do you believe in aliens?" her hand went limp again, and he could hear her sigh audibly, in relief. 

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, of course, I wouldn't have asked otherwise, silly girl."

She laughed a little. Then grew quiet a moment.

"I think so. I mean, it's a vast universe, why couldn't there be some other planet with some type of being on it going about their mundane everyday lives too?"

"I think so as well. I mean, I don't watch silly documentaries on whether aliens exist or not, but sometimes, it's a comfort thinking out there, someone on some planet far away is trying to decide what would be the best outfit to wear on a first date, or someone is out there..hm I don't know, doing whatever that planet's equivalent is of running a food truck."

"I don't know if the universe could handle two Roccos." she said, her tone light, but he could hear the sleep that was starting to thread through it.

"Alright, how about this one? Do you believe that other dimensions exist? Like, at each important decision we make, a different thread of time starts? Or even our mundane ones, like you wear a red blazer instead of a black one, and a whole new time line branches?"

"Oh! I've never quite thought of that. Let me think for a moment." She grew quiet, he knew she wasn't sleeping as she squeezed his hand once or twice. Then she rolled closer to him, so they were facing one another, their clasped hands held in front of their chests. 

"Yes. I think that could be. Like, what would have happened had I chosen you on day 9. Would we still be in a bed together now? I don't know, but it's kind of fun to think about. I think though, I think if there was such a dimension existing, I definitely would want to be named Fox in that one. Maybe the whole timeline would be different just by my parents choosing to name me Fox."

He laughed. He tried to imagine Cara as a Fox, and utterly failed. "Why Fox? Why not, say, hm, Izzy?"

"I don't know. I feel like a Fox would never have made the decisions I've made. She'd be wilier. And stronger. I also think an Izzy would be more likely to fall for Bobby than you."

"Ah, Cara. Darling. You're strong too. You made the decisions that were right for you at the time. That's not weak. That's not stupid. Your decisions have always been brave. You don't let doubts hold you back or keep you from doing something, or from doing something you spend months upon months regretting." His tone ended on a slightly bitter note. 

Her hand squeezed tightly around his. "Lucas. I may spend months or years in regret now. And, you don't need to regret your past decisions. Maybe, had you chosen differently, you'd not be here now, and I didn't even know how much I really needed you until I saw you sitting there with a cup of coffee in your hand."

He wrapped his arms around her then, and softly kissed her forehead. He wouldn't argue with her, but he also knew he'd always feel anger at himself for his taking the easy route and going for Blake. 

"Cara. There's things about me, things you don't know yet. And maybe when you do, you'll decide differently. But right now is not the time to discuss them. Right now is the time for sleep." He went to pull back, to go back to just holding her hand, but she had brought her arms up around his back and locked them. 

"No. Please stay like this, Lucas? Please?"

"Shh, of course." He kissed her forehead again, wrapping his arms tighter around her, one around her waist pulling her closer against him. He felt her body relax fully against him. He brought a hand up and softly began running his fingers through her hair. The damp strands were cool against his fingertips. She relaxed even further, seeming almost to melt into him. He could tell sleep was pulling her under. He laid there for another five minutes, listening to her breathing deepen and slow down. He heard his phone vibrate a little on the nightstand next to them where he'd laid it earlier. Slowly taking his hand away from her hair, he waited to see if she would stir. She didn't. He slowly reached over his arm, groping around for his phone. Pulling it closer to him he looked at the WhatsApp message he'd just received.

Edward: It worked. I'm in.

Lucas smiled, a cold smile of triumph. He placed his phone back on the nightstand and let sleep claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you that are fans of SerFox, My Only Angel probably caught the reference that she so graciously allowed me to include.
> 
> For those of you that have not read My Only Angel, head over there now for more Lucas goodness, with a sequel that's in progress right now. https://archiveofourown.org/works/20905685/chapters/49696268
> 
> If you'd like to meet Izzy, check out scorpioisland and my story, My Winter Sun. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547479/chapters/53879113


	14. Through the Eyes of Cara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shh. It's not. Cara, your life is yours. You own every moment. Don't let others make you think you don't."

Cara came awake with a gasp. Her hand flung out and touched another person in her bed. Her first thought was, "Gary? Why is he here?" before realization hit that it couldn't be Gary, she'd run far and fast from Gary. No, this was...Lucas. Her head sunk deeper into her pillow and she drew her hand slowly away, before flinging the duvet over her head. God, what in hell was she doing in bed with Lucas? She searched through the fog of receding sleep hoping nothing bad had happened that her mind was still protecting her from. She felt a blush stain her cheeks as she remembered the kiss in the bathroom. How embarrassing had that been, she'd practically flung herself into his arms. He'd been nice about it, but she still felt mortified. He must think she was as bad as, well, as bad as that redheaded snake. Cara refused to think of her by name. She slid her eyes to the side and looked at Lucas. He was breathing deep, his eyes moving behind his eyelids, safely into a dream cycle. She sunk into the bed further and remembered their conversation about alternate dimensions the night before. She'd fallen asleep before she could do much thinking, earlier. Now, she was captivated by the thought of how things could have been different.

What if she had chosen him on day 9? Instead of Gary? She had considered it, even though she was beginning to have a deep attraction to Gary. She remembered the conversation with Lottie, how she'd pulled her to the side, away from the controlled chaos that was Bobby baking to ask her about it. Her heart had gone out to the goth girl, and she had respected her for having the balls to ask her that. There had been just a moment where she had seriously considered not picking Gary, even though they'd had a couple of secret kisses, there'd also been a couple moments with Lucas where she thought there might be more there too. But, Lucas had scared her a bit then. Hell, he actually still scared her a bit now. There was something in her that made her want to give her all to him, to lay herself bare in front of him and expose everything to him. She knew there would be safety there if he didn't reject her bared self, the ultimate safety, but there was also the fear of the huge risk. Gary had been safer. She loved his dad jokes, she loved his easy going way and his refusal to get sucked into all the drama around him. So, she had told Lottie she'd been picking Gary. She still remembered the look on Bobby's face watching Lottie flounce out of the room, Cara knew she'd probably been fighting tears at that point, her eyes had been shiny as Cara told her she really liked Gary and knew he really liked her, so she'd be picking him at the recoupling. But, what if? What if she had given way to Lottie? It had still been such early days and except for Hope and Noah, it'd felt like everyone else had been so up in the air at that point. Would he still have picked Blake while she was at Casa Amor? Would she have been more tempted to save him from having to leave? She knew she'd definitely not be married to Gary right now. They'd ended up the fairy tale couple of the season, the couple everyone loved and rooted to stay together. There'd been this huge momentum, this whole excitement to it all, after they'd won the show. She had thought it was love. She'd been so excited to propose to Gary, so excited she'd ignored the look of trepidation that flashed across his face in the split second after she'd asked him. She was pretty sure he was also caught up in the momentum. And, they did work together. Or had worked together. She was so confused. Gary had allowed her to stay comfortably as she was for the most part. Now she wondered if that was part of the problem. She'd not stretched herself emotionally with him. She'd left the university she'd been studying at to move to be with him. And with all the press, the modeling that came from it, the interviews, the wedding planning, she'd not gotten back into school yet. She had felt adrift a bit, and like she didn't want to go back to studying to be a trainer. Maybe because working out, and talking about working out had become such a part of the rest of her life with Gary. Maybe, her hesitation to continue that course of study had been her subconscious screaming at her she needed a change, her mind needed to stretch past its boundaries. Or maybe, she was just trying to rationalize her flight away from trying to work this out, her solitude, the warmth that'd spread through her when Lucas showed up, and the mortifying bathroom kiss.

She sighed. She just didn't know. She had tried writing out her thoughts, tried writing a letter to Gary to plan what she wanted to say. Every attempt just came out rubbish. She didn't know exactly what she wanted to say. She didn't think she could go back. It now felt like a taint stretched over the whole time in the Villa, the wedding, how happy she'd been on her honeymoon. She didn't think she could move beyond it. She knew some couples survived infidelity. She also knew most of them didn't have thousands or millions of people following their every move, offering opinions on every aspect. Fuck that woman. Cara felt the helpless anger wash over her. Fuck. Her. Cara had always had a temper, though she mostly kept it hidden. People in her past had stressed upon her how unlikable a woman with a temper was. She'd been told over and over in millions of ways to be nice, to be sweet, to be a mediator. She'd swallowed her anger so many times. Right now though? Right now she'd happily succumb to physical violence. It'd have been so much better if Gary had been nervous about marrying her, if he'd just said bloody no when she asked instead of taking that fear out in an elevator in the middle of their wedding night, for fuck's sake. But, he'd always done dumb things in panic. She should have realized that so much sooner. She should have realized a lot of things so much sooner. Her past whispered to remind her that she'd just never been very smart, had she? She clenched the duvet in a fist, as the voices washed over her. She lay there fighting the panic, fighting the anger, trying to shove them back away. It wasn't working. Suddenly, she let out a muffled scream into her pillow, forgetting Lucas next to her.

His hand snaked out and drew her to his side. 

"Shh, love, it's okay. Just breathe. Deep. Hold it. Now, exhale, slowly." his voice directed her. 

She felt the command deep inside her, and found herself following his instructions, without even really thinking about it. 

"Again. Deep breath. Hold. Exhale slowly." His fingers lightly ran over her back, up onto her neck, the touch soothing in a way she didn't even know a touch could be. She flashed to the couple of times she'd had something similar happen when Gary was there to notice. He'd mainly seemed nervous, unsure of what to do, and then started pestering her about seeing his counselor. She didn't need to see a counselor again, she'd already done that. They'd basically spouted a bunch of jargon at her that boiled down to she needed to express her emotions better. Easy enough to say, harder than hell to do.

Her breathing slowed, in time to Lucas's voice. She felt the anxiety start to recede but the anger? It just wasn't budging. 

"I hate her." she said low and venomously.

"I know. She's vile." Lucas murmured next to her ear, where he was laying behind her.

"What did I ever do to her? What did I do to deserve this?" she could feel the hint of tears in her voice with this, and focused on Lucas's hand smoothing down her back. She refused to cry again. She'd spent so much time the last few days in tears. She was tired of it. 

"Nothing. Some people? Some people are just bloody wastes of spaces. She is just a spoiled little bitch who never got deprived of anything in her little life. Sadly, she chose you to fixate her rage on."

Cara pounded a fist onto the mattress. "I thought she was my friend. I really loved talking to her about books, and even after she came back and was so weird with me, and weird with Gary, and weird with Lottie, she seemed to calm down after a day or so and we talked about some good things. What the hell happened?"

"Shh. No matter how much you search, you won't find a reason that will feel good enough for what she did to you. It's better to try to not focus on finding a reason." He rolled away from her for a moment, she turned her head enough to catch him going for his phone next to him. After glancing at it for a second, he put it down and turned back to her.

"We both slept all day. It's now just about 4 in the afternoon. Are you hungry?" he smoothed some hair away from her eyes.

"No. Not really. Are you?"

"Famished. Does this place do afternoon tea? Or would you like to go to the shops and get something out in the village?"

"I think I need some actual conditioner for my hair." She ran a hand through her dried hair. "The type here isn't moisturizing enough. And, well, maybe some socks."

"Well then, I think I need to put back on my clothes and head out to get my stuff from the car."

"No motorbike?" she had pictured him riding here on his bike, actually had been maybe looking forward to finally getting to ride on the back of it behind him, she knew from a conversation last month with Shannon that it was quite the rush.

He laughed low, she swore she could feel the warmth of it in the pit of her stomach, "No, it was a bit excessive of a drive for my bike, I tend to only do long trips like that with a lot of forethought and planning."

"Isn't that most of your life, though? Forethought and planning?" They'd talked enough over the course of wedding planning and she'd talked to Shannon enough to know that Lucas always planned things out.

"That's true. Though after Ibrahim told me where you were, I didn't plan out that for days on end. I just knew you might need me, so I came."

She felt the tears pricking at her eyes again and took a deep breath, willing them away again. She turned over so she fully faced him and sat up, holding the blankets up to her chin. He stared at her intently, his eyes soft. She summoned a smile up for him, feeling its tremulousness on her face. 

"I know I've said it already, but thank-you. I felt all alone and since you've gotten here, I don't feel that anymore."

"Trust me, you are not alone, and not just from me. Later, I'll show you some things, and you'll see. You have more friends than you know out there, Cara."

"I guess I'll take your word for it now, though it definitely doesn't feel like it. We better get going, before all the shops close down for the night and our only options are pubs. As far as I know, they tend to not sell conditioner."

He laughed a little and slid out of the bed, walking into the bathroom to get his clothes. Once he was done dressing (she noted that even though he would only be wearing the outfit for less than ten minutes, everything was perfectly aligned, tucked in, smooth.). He left the room to go to his car for his clothes and she went to her weekender bag and began digging through. She wished she had something that looked a little better than what she'd thrown in here, but she didn't figure she'd be needing to impress anyone. She guessed she still didn't need to impress Lucas. She pulled out a pair of black leggings and an oversized cream sweater and set about dressing. After Lucas got back in the room, he twirled his finger at her to signify that she should turn around. When she stood there staring at him a little longer, not willing to just obediently turn like a top at the beckon of his finger, he raised his eyebrow. 

"Well, darling, if you would like to watch, feel free." He hooked his fingers at the bottom of his t-shirt and began to draw it over his head. Her eyes flicked at the neat pile of clothes on the bed next to him, with boxers on top, some burgundy type of shirt and then a pair of dark jeans. She flicked her eyes back towards him just in time to catch a glance of his chiselled abs as his shirt drew over his head. Her mind flashed back to the Mr. Love Island competition and her remarking she suddenly felt really thirsty. She swallowed. Apparently, judging by the bathroom earlier and now, his abs still made her thirsty. He drew the t-shirt over his head and as his head emerged, he smirked at her.

"Cara, I never took you as a woman to enjoy a hen party do with strippers. Might I have to rethink that assumption?" He brought his hands to his jeans and slowly began to unbutton them, holding eye contact with her, smoldering at her. Oh my god, how had she forgotten how good he was at the sultry eye contact thing? She felt a blush spreading over her entire body, pinking her cheeks. She could tell by the way his lips curved slowly up into a sexy little grin that he'd noticed too. She sucked her lower lip between her teeth, completely lost in the moment before the realization of what was happening broke over her in a wave. She gasped, before quickly twirling around so she faced away from him, struggling to regain her breath. She heard him laugh a little behind her, low.

"Good girl."

Those two words broke another wave of warmth over her. She felt, weirdly pleased? happy? at them. God, what was happening to her right now? Was life always going to be this weird series of waves carrying her here, there, everywhere??

After a moment, she heard Lucas walking. She kept herself turned around, not wanting to accidentally discover he was still in the middle of changing. She felt him as soon as he got within a foot of her, the hairs on her arms stood up. She clenched one of her fists, fighting against the sensuality that washed over her, tightening her nipples into hard buds that almost cried out to be played with. Shit. Shit. Lucas was here as her friend and she kept responding to him like she wasn't a woman scorned, fleeing a marriage destroyed on its first day by infidelity in an elevator, of all places. The thought of it broke through to her. It was so ridiculous. She started laughing, right as Lucas's hands came down onto her shoulders. It was a small giggle at first, but then she just kept thinking the weirdest things, including singing that stupid song "Love in an Elevator" that her mom used to like to play while dancing around the living room when she should have been cleaning, and with each thought and each repeat of the chorus, her laughter deepened. She'd probably be bent over, holding onto her knees, she was laughing so hard but Lucas's hands steadied her. She couldn't stop laughing.

"Cara?" Lucas's voice broke through the sound of her own hysterics. "Are you doing alright?"

"Oh my God, Lucas. My life..." she laughed some more, unable to get the words out. After a deep breath, she tried again, "Lucas. My life...it's like, it's like some horrible cheesy 80s music video. Or like some bad fan fiction written on some website ..." the howling laughter started again, but she could hear now. She could hear how close to tears it was. Like there was just this thin, gauzy veil between the laughter and more tears waiting for her. But, it felt so much better to be doing this, than to be sobbing again.

His voice came in a low murmur against her ear. "Shh. It's not. Cara, your life is yours. You own every moment. Don't let others make you think you don't. This is your life and you deserve the best in it. I know it's hard to see right now, but I swear to you, you are the most amazing person I met last summer and since. What's happened doesn't change that. It doesn't change who you are here." His hand traveled down from her shoulder and cupped over her heart, the pressure sliding her back against all of him. Her breath caught in her throat, and the laugh that had been rebuilding into howls died in her throat. She swallowed, aware of just how close his fingers were to the swell of her breast. He kept his hand right there, but moved the one off of her shoulder to wrap in her hair, pulling her head to the side, exposing her neck. She could feel the heat of his gaze as he stared at her. She felt paused. She didn't know what was going to happen next, and she realized she liked that unknown feeling. She loved how it was consuming her and distracting her from herself. Slowly, Lucas lowered his mouth to her throat, before grazing his teeth lightly against her neck. She shivered. He paused to flick his tongue against her neck before continuing his maddening, tortuous trail up her neck. When his mouth reached her ear, he slowly took her earlobe between his teeth and gently pulled. She felt the needy sound that escaped from her to the very bottom of her toes. He released her lobe and softly whispered in her ear.

"Done laughing?"

She moved her head as much she could with his hand wrapped in her hair, nodding. He moved his mouth down and planted a soft kiss on her throat. Then he released his hands and took a small step back.

"Good. Because, Cara?"

She turned her head to look at him, "What?"

"It's still not time yet." He folded his arms across his chest and just looked calmly at her, while she felt like her mouth was opening and closing, before a irritation washed over her. It wasn't close to a temper loss, but it wasn't sadness or hysteria, the main two emotions she'd been feeling before Lucas showed up this morning.

"Really, Lucas? Really? What was that? So unfair!" her voice raised an octave or two higher than her normal tone.

He laughed a little.

"Maybe. But, it worked, didn't it? You're calmer now."

"OH MY GOD. You're so annoying!" her voice slipped up another octave.

He shrugged, still looking her in the eyes. "Maybe. But you liked it. It worked. So, I have no regrets."

She glared at him but didn't argue with him. He was right. It had worked. She had a calmer feel to her after the laughter outburst and she did feel a bit more like herself again.

"Are you ready to depart to see what we can find in terms of socks in this tiny, tiny metropolis? Or are you too annoyed with me?" He smiled at her as he said it and she felt the annoyance slip away. Rolling her eyes, she began walking towards the door.

"For that, Lucas, I will lead the way out of here."

"Oh of course, I may find myself lost on the stairs and imagine the scandal. You are in charge of inn leaving, dear Cara."

"Ugh. Sometimes, you are infuriating."

"I know. But, you like it." As she walked by him, he delivered a tiny swat to her ass. She glared over her shoulder at him, hoping he couldn't guess the thrill that had just run through her. He smiled and gestured with his hand for her to keep going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the extremely long wait between chapters. Quarantine depression settled and didn't lift until just recently. After copious amounts of whisky were drunk and every season of the Love Island show binged. Hope you enjoy Cara's POV! Don't worry, we'll see Lucas again very soon <3
> 
> Thank-you to all who have stuck around and come back to see the newest chapter after all this time. It means more to me than you'll ever know!


	15. Revenge Is Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite awhile both in time since I wasn't writing and in chapters since we saw anything happening in the great revenge against Hannah plot. Thought I'd shine a light on Edward for those of you curious about him. (Reminder: Lucas's childhood friend who texted that he was in.)
> 
> "I can let you have the world, all for you  
> Yours is an empty hope  
> Yours is an empty hope"  
> Nightwish Yours is An Empty Hope
> 
> "You've got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine  
> You made your bed when you worried about mine  
> This ends now"  
> Bring Me The Horizon "True Friends"
> 
> "The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama  
> But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma" Taylor Swift "Look What You Made Me Do"

Edward had his airpods in, standing in front of the mirror. He was playing his "psych himself up" music. Mostly a mix of screaming metal and 90s hip-hop. He laced his fingers behind his neck, arching his spine while staring at himself in the mirror. He was practicing the "smolder" look. He still had no clue how Lucas did it so naturally. Once, when they'd been drunk at like eighteen, he'd asked him. Lucas had just stared at him blankly. Apparently, the man was a natural at the intense gaze across the room that just naturally pulled any woman he directed it at.

"Because he's a fucker." Edward muttered, then barked a short laugh. He thought he had the look down enough for what he needed it for tonight. Grinning at himself, he dropped his hands. He still had to figure out what to wear tonight. Pulling down his sweats he left them puddled on the bathroom floor, moving towards his bedroom.Too bad this didn't hinge on the view he presented, he knew from countless women that his back could get even the coldest woman thirsty. But, tonight, he needed more finesse. He normally just went for the quick lay. He had to get someone to begin to fall in love this time. 

Though, considering who it was, he didn't think it would be that hard. She liked to pretend she had standards, that she wanted a gentleman. But, the bitch was so shallow, it'd not take much.

_Two nights ago:_

Edward swung his leg off, over his black BMW R1250 RT. He'd just gotten the beauty a few weeks ago, replacing the Harley Sportster he'd been riding the last five years. He stepped back a moment to admire the sleek lines of the BMW. A voice spoke from behind him.  


"It's no wonder you're still single. I don't think I've ever seen you stare at a woman with as much love as you are that." 

Edward spun.

"Lucas! Mate! Look at her. She's gorgeous, eh? And if this is the reason why I'm single, what's your excuse?"

Lucas's mouth quirked up on the side, while he appraised the bike slowly, his eyes traveling it. 

"She definitely is. I will have some serious questions about that shiftcam I keep hearing so much about, but they're going to have to wait. And I am single because I have standards in all areas of life, of course."

Edward noticed then that Lucas's hand was unconsciously moving slowly. He rolled his eyes inside. He wished for his friend's sake that he didn't have such an obvious tell to extreme stress. Luckily, not many seemed observant enough to really notice the cracks in what seemed such a highly polished veneer.

He clapped Lucas's shoulder, pulling him in for a tight embrace. They'd known each other too long to just do a dumb bro hug. This was the brother he'd never had and brothers deserved more. Lucas clung on a bit longer than normal, but then released Edward from the hug and stepped back. 

"Shall we?" He nodded his head toward the door of the pub. "Or, can you not leave your new love that long?"

"Shut-up, you tosser." Edward laughed as he walked ahead of Lucas and grabbed the door. Swinging into the pub, he looked around. It was natural for him to always scope out possibilities for possible pulls. He did it everywhere now. He saw a blonde three tables from the door, who looked up, her eyes widening. Edward smiled lazily at her and dropped his eye into a wink. She dropped her eyes quickly, a blush staining across her cheeks. He knew the effect he and Lucas could have walking into a room. It used to be fun, before Lucas went off to Love Island. Ever since coming back, he'd not seemed interested in any of the fun they used to get up to before then. Edward knew why too, even if Lucas wouldn't admit it to him. 

"What do you want to drink tonight? Jameson?" he spoke over his shoulder to Lucas.

"Just an ale. I have a drive to make tonight." Lucas handed over a 20 pound note. When Edward tried to wave it away, he just raised his eyebrows in his Lord of the Manor way he had. Edward rolled his eyes and took the money. 

"I'll get us a table over there." Lucas nodded away from where the blushing blonde was sat.

"Nah, why don't you grab us that empty table over there?" Edward gestured towards the empty table next to the blonde.

Lucas shook his head. "No. You'll just spend the entire time making eyes at her and not listening to me. You can hit on her after I leave."

Edward threw his head back and laughed. The sound was exuberant and he noticed blondie peeking at him. He threw another smile her way, while Lucas walked off in the opposite direction, not even waiting to hear what Edward had to say. But, it'd always been that way with them. Lucas always subconsciously took charge. Edward didn't mind. He had to make so many decisions in his day to day life, it was nice to let someone else do it for him, even if it was in small things, like where to sit.

After getting the drinks, he headed towards where Lucas was sitting. He had his phone out, and Edward knew he was probably reviewing some list he had on there. Edward tried sometimes to get Lucas to go off-list for things...but unless he wrote "go off-list" on his list, he never would. He sometimes wished he had just a bit more Lucas in him, but eh, he got things done too, just in a very different way, usually.

Sitting down across from Mr. Brooding, Lucas raised his dark brown eyes to meet Edward's sea-green ones. Edward sat back slowly, he'd only seen this look in Lucas's eyes a couple times before. The last time had been through a tv screen last summer when all that Love Island stuff went down.

"Sooo..." Edward drew the syllable out. "What's up, Tall, Dark, and Handsome?" He'd started calling Lucas that after Love Island had started airing and like season 4 was just full of all these women chirping they wanted tall dark and handsome men. It's also why he'd sent the application to Lucas, originally as a joke, that he still couldn't believe his friend had done.

Lucas took a long drink from his glass, then glanced down at his phone. Edward squashed the urge to grab the phone away. He'd done it once. He rarely provoked an actual outburst from his best friend, but that time there had been one. He threw back the shot of tequila he'd gotten a taste for while on a trip to the States a few years ago, then also took a long swallow from his own pint. Lucas opened his mouth to speak and said just about one of the last things Edward was expecting.

"Do you remember Hannah?"

Edward grimaced and wished he'd not done his shot already. The mention of the name made him want at least five more. 

"Ugh. How could I forget? Certainly glad you weren't in the Villa with her. Having to watch her to see you would have been like having all my fingernails removed slowly with rusty pliers. It was hard enough seeing the clips of her and the interviews after."

"She's done it again."

Edward leaned forward, his eyes narrowing and his mouth drawing up into a sneer.

"What the fuck. What's she done this time?" He flexed his hands into fists before releasing them. He'd never really talked to the woman but after what she did to his sister five years ago, well, he was like Lucas in one way. He never forgot when people hurt those he loved. He never forgave. His heart hurt when he thought of his sister. He looked down, blinking until his emotions were more in control.

"You remember Cara, of course." 

Edward sighed. Of course he remembered Cara. She was a tiny bit unforgettable. He really wished Lucas could forget her though. He'd probably be happier.

"Of course. How's her happily ever after? And what does it have to do with Hannah?"

Lucas outlined the book, and the Twitter. He pulled it up on his phone for Edward to read. After reading it, Edward slid Lucas's phone back across the table. He sat back.

"At Cara and Gary's wedding, I promised her if Gary hurt her, he'd be an enemy for life. I don't see why that philosophy couldn't extend to Hannah as well. I kept how I knew her to myself. No one knows. Not Shannon, not Cara, not even Hannah. Since we're a few years older, while we of course know of each other, and maybe she knew who I was, she wouldn't ever know that I knew the same."

Edward nodded. It made sense. Hannah wouldn't realize the hatred that he harbored for her. She didn't think her actions were to blame. She never would come that realization herself. Edward knew otherwise. But, the way of their families and their circle was to hush these things up. No one wanted the press to get a hold of these stories. 

Lucas leaned forward. "So. Here's the question. You want revenge? Because between both things, I now know I do beyond a doubt. I have others working on discrediting her. But, I find myself thinking that's not enough for her. I find myself wanting her to pay. To pay for it all. For your sister, for Cara, and probably for the others that came between. I want her to hurt. I want her to pay." Lucas's voice ended on a hiss that Edward didn't think he'd ever heard from the man. He filed that away for later, to examine exactly how deep he thought his feelings for Cara would go.

Lucas went on. "I, obviously, can't do it. Hannah would see it coming. Also, I have, well, I have other matters to take care of."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well. She's got a weakness. She may be trying to pull off that she is some bad-ass bitch now, and we know she truly has the bitch part covered. But, there's a part of her that desperately wants her father's approval. It's why she actually isn't after a relationship with some crane operator. She wants fame, but more than that she wants a man that she can be proud to show off. We know that's not Gary. But, it could be you." Lucas's mouth quirked into a snarky grin. "Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor."

Edward groaned. Ever since that designation had been landed on him by a tabloid two years ago, he'd not heard the end of it. His mind spun. Could he stand to be around Hannah and pretend even if it was just a short time that he was falling for her? 

Lucas caught his eyes. "Please? I'd do this myself, I really would, I wouldn't even ask you to be a part of this if I didn't know you had your own reason for wanting to see her hurt. It wou.." his voice broke a little, his eyes filling with a pleading, before he continued on, "it would mean a lot to me." 

Edward's mind took a picture of the look on Lucas's face. His mind threw out a picture of his sister years ago, her laughing eyes grabbing onto his arm as she introduced him to her "new friend, Hannah! She's oh so lovely, Edward!" and automatically put it next to a later mental image of her, her hair unwashed, her eyes almost swollen shut from days of tears, her arms around her knees, rocking herself back and forth. He felt the cold rage fill him. He looked steadily back into Lucas's eyes.

"This Cara, she's worth that much to you? As much as Allison to me?" his voice came out cold, the syllables clipped. This was a side to him that hardly anyone ever saw, including himself. He rarely felt the way he felt right now. If he was going to blow up his life, his psyche, for both his sister and his friend, this woman better be worth it.

"Yes. I wouldn't ask this for any other person in the world, including myself."

Edward exhaled, looking up at the ceiling. He slowly let the cold anger leak from him. He gave himself a moment to release everything again. When he lowered his head, he looked his normal self. He knew Lucas would see the remnants of the coldness, but no one else would.

"Deal. What am I doing?"

"What's the saying? Oh yes, slide into her DMs. She's getting a lot of attention right now. Much of it, she's loving. But that'll start changing in the next few days. So, you have to start now so she's already talking to you when it happens. Be there for her when she complains. Flirt. Hint that you want more. Google some classic works of literature, she thinks she's so smart about books. Invite her out. Romance her. Do whatever it is you do. Then, when you think the time is right...destroy her." Lucas emphasized the last two words by softly pushing a fist into his other hand.

Edward laughed. "So, we really doing this again? Riding together to our revenge?" He put his elbow on the table, his hand open, hanging in the air.

Lucas grabbed it, let out his own low laugh. "It would appear so. She won't know what hit her. For Allison. For Cara."

Edward tightened his hand around Lucas's once, squeezing it. 

They chatted a few minutes longer, Lucas giving Edward other things to use in his "seduction". Edward knew that most of it would come down to his own natural charm and his position in life, but a few hints of where to steer conversations couldn't hurt. He'd be forcing a lot of it, so any help was good. 

As Lucas finished up his second ale, after looking at his phone again and checking the time, Edward leaned in.

"Mate." his voice was serious.

Lucas looked up at him.

"Be careful. You know what they say, be careful what you wish for." 

"I just want to make sure I keep my promise to her." Lucas's eyes became guarded. All of Lucas was usually guarded. 

Edward nodded. "Fair. Just still, be careful, right?"

"You too."

They stood up and hugged. Lucas made his way out of the pub. Edward sat back down with a sigh. He cast a regretful look to where the blonde was staring across the room at him. Well, getting her number wouldn't hurt, he supposed, but he'd have to reserve it for a later use. He was going to be busy for a few. That resolved, he slowly smiled her way, enjoying the way she went pink again. He got up and slowly stalked across the room towards her table.

_Yesterday:_

He had sent Hannah a personal message on her Instagram the night before. He had done it late enough he was sure she'd not get it until morning. He wanted her to think he'd been kept wanting. He also wanted time to carefully craft what he was going to do next. He'd given her his Whatsapp information in the DM. He hated chatting through Instagram. He also figured it'd make it seem more serious that he actually did want to talk to her, not just some other guy hitting on her through instant message. At 9:03, his phone pinged. He picked it up, a slow smile spreading across his face.   


\--Edward? This is Hannah.

\--Hello! I wasn't sure if you'd shoot me a message. You seem to be Miss Popularity right now, in high demand in all the right places ;)

\--OMG, if you even knew! It's been so crazy! In the best way though. Have you read any of it?

Edward rolled his eyes. He wished he hadn't read any of it, he felt a need to scour his eyeballs after staying up last night reading portions of it. 

\--Well of course! It's not every day that an alumnae from our school gets so famous, much less someone I know.

\--Weren't you Most Eligible Bachelor a couple years back?

\--Ew, don't remind me! This is so much more though. An actual book written, all I did was get blessed by genes. 

\--Listen, Edward, I never got the chance to tell you back then. I'm so sorry about your sister. It's tragic what happened to her. I wanted to be there for your family, but unfortunately, had other commitments at that time.

Edward clenched his teeth. Other commitments, yeah, like making sure to drag Allison all over social media.

\--My mother said the flowers you sent were lovely. It's fine. I'm more interested in looking forward than back anyway.

\--OMG, me too! You have read the book, I can tell. I definitely talk about that.

She did. Over and over. Like every single chapter. From her dumping, to her glow up, to her crazy sex in an elevator.

\--Hannah! Are you calling me a liar now? You minx. You should call me.

Edward smiled, his eyes hard, when his phone rang 30 seconds later. He could imagine her debating whether it would seem too forward to do it, then telling herself to seize the day.

"Hello Hannah." He lowered his voice into a slow, seductive drawl.

"Edward, I can't believe it's been so long!"

"Me either. Of course, years ago, you were just way too young for an old man like myself."

Hannah's giggle came across the phone line and Edward tried hard to pretend it was Cami, the cute blonde from last night, whose number he did leave with.

"All of Allison's friends had such a crush on you."

"All of them? Even you, little Hannah?" he forced himself to smile so she could hear it in his voice.

"Hey! I'm not so little anymore."  


"Oh, you are definitely not so little anymore. When I saw the pictures of you after your glow up, I knew you were all woman then." He made sure his voice hesitated before saying woman, dropping his voice to make sure she got the sexual undertone to it.

She laughed. "Oh Edward, this phone call is definitely the best part of my last day even with all the excitement of my book coming out."

"Is it? Hmm, would that mean you'd be up to getting dinner with me tomorrow? I can take you to the most divine, out of the way, Greek restaurant. Baklava to die for."

"Well. I don't know, I'd have to check my sche..." 

He cut in. "Come on Hannah, love, live a little. What good is money and fame if you don't get to do what you want when you want it?"

She stopped talking. He listened to the pause over the line. That pause told him, he had her, it was just a matter of her thinking she had him.

"You are absolutely right, Edward. What is the point? Fine. Tomorrow night. Is six too early for you?"

"Six is perfect. Text me your address. I'll pick you up. Fancy a spin on my bike? Or are you a traditional car girl?" he made sure to make the last three words sound like he would find it so, so boring if she was. He wanted to see. He was checking just how much she was getting hooked.

"I'd love, love, to ride on your bike. I've always wanted to. They seem so exciting."

"Oh, they definitely are. Very exciting...and maybe a tiny bit dangerous. I think you'll love it. I'll see you at six then."  


"Definitely. Oh, and Edward?"

"Mhm?" 

"I rather enjoy tulips."

"I bet you do. We'll see if you get tulips then, hm?"

She giggled. 

After their goodbyes, he fired off a text to Lucas. 

\--I'm in.

_Today:_

Edward made his way back to his bathroom, checking himself out in the mirror. He'd worn a green sweater that matched his eyes perfectly, with a pair of black slacks. He had shrugged into his motorcycle jacket, just to get an idea of the entire effect. He tousled his hair. Unlike Lucas, he preferred the bare minimum of product. Whistling, he turned and left the bathroom, flicking off the light as he went. Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he twirled them on his finger as he picked up the bundle wrapped in green florist paper. There weren't any tulips in there. There were lilies. He'd give them with a speech about how she reminded him of lilies and how tulips were far too common for an extraordinary woman like her. He knew it'd work. He knew her. He'd done more research that first night, including watching her Love Island time, some of it. He'd also messaged a couple of younger friends of his that could remember her from school.   


Hannah wouldn't know what hit her.

Which was the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect when I decided on an Edward chapter that he'd take over so effortlessly. He's definitely a man with a lot to say haha.
> 
> Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions <3 I welcome the feedback!


	16. Secrets and Shame...and some Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who knows where this road is supposed to lead  
> We got nothing but time  
> As long as you're right here next to me, everything's gonna be alright"
> 
> Bebe Rexha "Meant to Be"
> 
> "Hands, put your empty hands in mine  
> And scars, show me all the scars you hide  
> And hey, if your wings are broken  
> Please take mine so yours can open too  
> 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you"
> 
> Rachel Platten, "Stand by You"

Lucas let Cara take the lead heading out of the inn. No one was about to watch them as they slipped out the front door. He watched as Cara's shoulders drooped a little as they went outside, her head subtly turning from side to side to try to spot someone taking a picture or noticing her. He shook his head to himself, and lengthened his stride until he was right next to her. He grabbed her hand. Her fingers tightened around his, almost like she didn't notice, her eyes flicking up to his face.

"Hold your head up. You've got nothing to hide. It's not you that did wrong." He leaned down and whispered in her ear. Her spine straightened and he noticed some of the anxiety slip from her eyes.

"Thank-you", she whispered softly back to him. He drew her arm up and tucked it into the crook of his own arm.

"Now, do you think we require my car? Or is everything within walking distance? Don't pick the car because you want to hide. I don't know if anyone much will notice us as anything but not residents of here." he swept his arm out, gesturing to include the totality of the village.

"Umm. Hm. I haven't looked around really. And, Lucas? I would be more comfortable in the car. I, I just don't want everyone to know where I'm at. Or that you're here too. I don't think I can handle all the questions."

"Cara. You won't have to. I will. If anyone did notice us, just ignore your phone and I'll answer a couple of calls. Trust me, it will be fine. Come on, you've got the courage. Find your inner Fox and let's do this." He flashed a grin at her, as she bit her lip, before tilting her chin defiantly and staring at him.

"Are these doctor's orders, then?" she grinned a little at him.

"Most definitely, these are your doctor's orders."

"Well. Who am I to argue with the esteemed Dr. Koh? Be almost as bad as arguing with the world-renowned Dr. Who."

Lucas laughed out of surprise, he didn't think she would be a Doctor Who fan, but Cara had always had the ability to take him by surprise. It was one of the things he'd first noticed on their date in the villa, when he'd had a weird fit of shyness and stumbled all over his words and she'd flipped a joke before knocking a glass of wine over on the table, winking at him while her head was turned from the camera. She'd done it so that the focus would be off him and his embarrassment and onto her. It had given him the moment he needed to regain his normal composure. He'd never met someone who would willingly embarrass themselves on purpose just to make someone else feel better.

He steered her down the small road leading away from the inn and towards the main part of the village. He figured they had to have at least some tourist type shop with a few necessities for those that forgot them while traipsing Highland sites, or at the very least sweatshirts with plaid on them. It was Scotland, after all, Lucas thought to himself, rolling his eyes.

"So, Cara. Tell me, what things do you need? Let's make a list, out loud."

She looked at him a moment, with a small smile and a cock of her head like she was trying to figure him out.

"You make the bed before you get into it,"

He interrupted, "Only because it was unmade. If you notice, I made it today when we got up. As proper people do."

She threw her head back and laughed, the sound of it hitting him in the gut. This, this was the laugh he remembered, her real laugh. It was loud and contagious, and not hysterical like it had been a bit ago in the room.

"As I was saying, you make the bed before getting in. You make lists for everything. Do you ever do anything spontaneously? Like, just for the hell of it?" She continued on, once her laughter had died down.

"Hm. I have found in life, it's best to be prepared. But, I do spontaneity! Ask Shannon. I went to Vegas with her last month." He was used to Edward giving him shit about his planning, about his lists.

Her eyebrows raised, "Yeah? How long did you know you were going? How much on Vegas did you read before you boarded that plane?"

He rolled his eyes, not wanting her to know she was right, that he'd read multiple websites on Vegas, on their hotel, on the best games to play in the casino.

"You want spontaneity, little girl? How about this, we will go into the first clothing shop we find, and buy something you absolutely do not need. How's that?"

She crinkled her nose at him and unlinking her arm from his, she grabbed his hand and swung it between them.

"I guess it'll do, Dr. Koh."

He tightened his fingers around hers. He felt a little uneasy about not knowing exactly what she needed other than socks, but this wasn't about him today, this was for her. If she needed to not have order and reason for a short while, he'd let her have that. They strolled down the street in silence for a few minutes. He scanned buildings as they began to pass them but the only things he'd seen so far is a pub and some fish and chips take-away place. He looked down at Cara, only to notice she was staring at the sidewalk, her eyes glistening. Shit. His attention had wandered and she'd obviously allowed her mind to take her places he was trying to give her a break from. He stopped walking. She continued on another step or two before noticing when her hand tugged at his and his stopped her forward momentum.

She looked back at him.

"Lucas?"

He pulled her arm lightly so she moved towards him. When she was back within reaching distance, he wrapped both his arms around her, smiling internally at the small gasp he heard her make. When he had both arms wrapped tightly around her, she tilted her head up to look at him, confusion making her forehead crinkle in a way that melted his heart a bit.

"Want to hear another order? One that I must absolutely insist you follow?" He deepened his voice a little, noticing she'd been responding really well to what Edward made fun of, his "lord of the manor" voice.

Her brow smoothed out and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"If you insist. Of course, I can't guarantee that your esteemed reputation means I'll follow all of your orders."

He tightened his grip a little bit, so she melded even more against him.

"Cara, it'd probably be boring if you did follow all orders." He resolutely pushed away images of what he'd like to do if she didn't follow an order. This wasn't the time for that. Maybe it would never be the time for it, but right now definitely was not. It was a tiny bit too late though, he could feel his cock stiffening just a little at the brief image he'd had of her, arms stretched above her head and tied into place. He looked at her, in time to notice a flush creeping up her face. She'd definitely noticed. He didn't move away, however, he figured it'd draw more attention to him.

She swallowed, her throat moving.

"So, um, what is the order, Lucas?"

He smiled down at her, loving that she was also not moving away from him.

"You have someone willing to buy you whatever frivolous thing you want. I want you to focus on that. Find the fun in it. Stop thinking about life outside of these moments, at least for right now."

Her eyebrows drew down, her eyes narrowing a little.

"It seems weird for you to be telling me that. Do you ever only live in one moment?"

His mind flashed back to the one night that they'd had on the daybed after Rocco left, and the joy he'd felt in kissing her, the way everything else melted away for just that one moment. He opened his mouth to say something about that, then realized it wouldn't help anything, and might only remind her of the things he was telling her to forget. He closed his mouth and then decided on a better answer.

"Why, sweetheart, what's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander."

She burst out laughing.

"What the hell does that even mean??"

"It means that right now, as your doctor, I do know the best thing for you. And that is having fun right now, with me, in this bustling city of Cromarty."

She rolled her eyes, but she was grinning.

"Fine. But, no words are to be spoken if I decide on a fluffy pink boa."

"I wouldn't dream of it. After all, your Christmas shopping for Chelsea would be done for the year." Saying that, he stepped back from her, grabbed her hand again and continued walking down the street.

"Maybe I should give it to Jo instead. Could you see her wearing it?" Cara said, with a small, evil smile as she looked up at him.

He barked out a laugh, taken by surprise by her again.

"Indeed. It'd be just the thing for her. It'd soften her right up."

Inside his mind, he reminded himself, conditioner and socks. Just to make sure even in the frivolity, he didn't forget to make sure she had those things handled for her.

Cara suddenly stopped, her eyes flying to a door on their right.

"Found something. Come on, let's go, Lucas. Pink boas await."

He stared at the storefront with something like horror, looking at the explosion of patterns on the mannequins in the windows, tartan and paisley prints abounded, interspersed with neon tank tops and leather pants.

"Oh my God. Why do I feel like Bobby of eight years ago would love this place?"

"Eight years ago? Why wouldn't Bobby of today love this place?" Cara said over her shoulder while tugging him behind her. "It's GREAT."

"If you say so." He was already wishing he had remembered to tuck a bottle of hand sanitizer in his pocket before leaving the hotel.

Cara looked at him, a mock scowl on her face.

"You said the first shop! You said frivolous!" Waving her hand at the storefront, she continued. "This is the very definition of frivolous."

He forced a smile on his face. He never went in places like this. He didn't like the chaos of them, the chaos of secondhand or just, shops that sold weird things of all sorts.

"You're right. I did say that. Onward then, you."

She smiled in triumph and opening the door, dragged him behind her. He groaned to himself. The inside was definitely worse than the windows. Clothes exploded from racks everywhere. Signs above clothes racks screamed about what color tag of the week was on sale for 5 pounds this week.

Cara dropped his hand to dive deeper into the store. Lucas pulled his arms in, not wishing to let any of the chaos touch him. He breathed in deep and exhaled slowly, his fingers touching to his thumb rapidly. This is what she needed. He could do this for her. He carefully sidestepped an explosion of fishnet stockings and slid by a rack of tartan pants. Spotting the top of Cara's messy ponytail a few racks further down, he exhaled slowly in relief.

"Lucas! Come here! I've found them."

He grimaced while she couldn't see him, wondering what the heck she'd found in here.

When he got closer to her, his jaw dropped. She'd found the rack of boas. There were feathers everywhere, in all colors. She squealed as she reached for a fuschia one. Winding it around her neck, she looked at him and putting her hand on her hip and thrusting it out a bit, twirling her hand in her hair, and widening her eyes at him.

"Oh my God! I could die for a gin. I have this pillow that says "Never is there a wrong time for gin", and like, it's so me!"

He burst out laughing, forgetting for the first time since seeing the window of this shop, how much he abhorred these places.

"You've nailed her."

"I know, it's a gift I have. Why do you think Bobby and I got along so well?" She dropped the pink boa on top of the rack, Lucas clenched a fist to keep from hanging it back up. Next, she grabbed a green one and wound it around her throat. Pulling her face up into a scowl, and her eyebrows down, she said loudly.

"Why does everyone keep asking me!? There WAS no kiss."

Lucas rolled his eyes, but he could feel just how huge the grin was on his face. This, this right here, was the Cara he'd watched all summer after he left the Villa. She sparkled with a joy he'd not seen since the dance floor at her reception. She dropped the second boa on the first and Lucas could feel himself letting go of how much he wanted to hang them back up, just out of the joy of seeing her having fun. She grabbed his hand. 

"Come on! I decided against boas. They're boring."

She dragged him next to a display of hideous fake fur jackets, trying on two or three while he struggled not to laugh too hard at her impressions of Instagram influencers, like a lot of Islanders turned into after a season of Love Island.

"These aren't it, either." she said after she handed the third one to him to hang back up on the hanger. He'd noticed she'd started doing it after she stared at him watching her fling the first one on top of the rack. He guessed he hadn't been hiding his urge to restore order as well as he thought. This seemed a good compromise though. After he had worked the icky feeling thing back onto its hanger and hung it back up, she wound herself deeper into the bowels of the store.

She stopped before a rack of fake leather pants, in all shades, some with skulls, some with little rainbows on the back pockets.

"Yes. I need a pair of these. I wonder if they have a dressing room here." She looked around. Lucas grabbed her chin lightly in his hand and turned her head towards the back of the store where he'd already spotted 3 cubicles with curtains drawn across them.

"Excellent! I need to try on at least three to decide which are the most perfect." She giggled at the look on his face, then grabbed a skull pair, a purple pair, and one that strangely had two cartoon hands holding their middle fingers up on the back pockets. She started towards the dressing room, Lucas following behind her, looking down at the curve of her ass under the long sweater she was wearing. He wondered how the middle fingers would look across it. Smiling at himself, and shaking his head, he kept following her. He bumped into her when she suddenly stopped three feet in front of one of the cubicles. It was obviously empty, its curtain hooked up against the wall. 

Turning her head to look at him, she said, "You wait here, okay?"

He paused and looked at her. She suddenly seemed a little worried. Did she think he'd try something in the dressing room? I mean, they'd been in the bath together just that morning. But, she was almost radiating anxiety off of her.

"Cara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just...I just don't want you to see me if these look hideous on me!" she tried to inject the same carefree tone she'd had while looking at the pants. He narrowed his eyes. He knew insincerity when he heard it. What the hell was she hiding? She'd changed just fine with him walking about the room earlier.

He held up his hands in a placating gesture, smiling at her. The look of relief on her face was so clear that it definitely made him think she was hiding something.

Grinning, she said, "Wish me luck! Hopefully the flipping the bird ones are the best. I can't wait to wear them!"

He smiled at her, nodding, so she couldn't see just how sus he was finding her right now.

She entered the cubicle, drawing the curtain aside. Lucas folded his arms over his chest and watched her feet under the curtain. She slipped her flats off, next, he saw her leggings puddle on the floor. She was horrible at just leaving things where they lay. He cringed a little internally at the sight, but shrugged it off a second later. He was more worried about her sudden change when they came to the dressing room. He'd seen most of her naked over the summer in bikinis and pajamas. And last night, even though bubbles had covered pretty much everything, she'd been fine with him being in the tub with her. He slowly realized he'd not seen the front of her at all in the last two days. He swore to himself. Something was definitely up. His eyes narrowed as he watched the bottoms of her legs, her ankles as she put her legs into the purple pair and he watched them draw up past the bottom of the curtain. After another moment, she drew the curtain aside.

"Tada!" she did, doing a slow twirl for him.

He looked down, feeling the "posh" face draw over him, hiding his suspicions. Looking up, he put a smile on.

"I'm not sure. I feel like I should call you Violet and wonder where your bubble gum is." he said with a sardonic tone, winking at her, so she didn't get anxiety about what he was thinking. He was trying to keep this fun for her, but the dark space was growing in his head. If there was something more that hurt her, he wanted to know. No, scratch that, he **needed** to know.

"Hmm," she said, looking down at herself, "true, they're kinda Willy Wonka, aren't they? Oh well. That's why I grabbed three." she grinned at him, before making her way back into the cubicle and drawing the curtain shut once more. He went back to staring at the bottom parts of her legs, his fingers working their way in a countdown against his thumbs, both hands. Once the purple pants had come down and she stepped down, he muttered to himself. "Right. This ends now," striding towards the dressing room and slipping himself inside.

Cara looked up at him, horror in her eyes.

"Lucas, what the fuck are you doing?"

He grabbed her wrists gently, but forcefully.

"The doctor has questions." he bit out, before pushing her slowly against the wall. She stared at him, her eyes widening. Suddenly, they narrowed.

"The doctor can mind his own fucking business." she spat at him, but he heard the slight tremble on her voice. He didn't know if it was fear of him, fear of what he'd find, or arousal. At that point, he didn't really care. Moving her hands together easily, even though she tightened to try to fight him, he grabbed both of her tiny wrists under one of his large hands, his long fingers tightening to hold her in place. She hissed at him.

"Let go of me, Lucas. What the hell are you doing?"

He leaned in, sniffing at her hair, before sucking a bit of the skin of her neck between his teeth. She stilled, her muscles in her arms going a little looser. He looked up at her, and smirked.

"Good. I have your attention now, do I?"

"Go to hell." she rasped out at him, but he could hear the desire mixing with the confusion and anger in her voice. He chuckled at the sound of it. Deep in his mind, a voice yelled he needed to back off, he needed to not be THIS Lucas, THIS Lucas had no chance in hell of keeping Cara in his life. He pushed the voice to the side. If this Lucas found out what she was hiding, and he could do something to maybe fix it, then this Lucas was what he needed.

"Not a chance of that, sweetheart. What are you hiding? Why don't you want me to see you? It confused me for a moment, since you were bare ass naked in the bath just eight hours ago with me. But then I realized, you were already in there. So, sweet Cara, what the fuck are you hiding from me?"

"N-nothing," her voice stuttered, "I am not hiding anything from you. I just, I just..."

He waited a moment, looking in her eyes, as she looked away from his, he took his hand and moved her chin so her face was perfectly aligned with his.

"Right here. You look right here in my eyes and tell me what you aren't hiding from me."

She closed her eyes.

"Open them, Cara. Or should I just find out for myself? I mean, it's not like I've not seen parts of you already naked. What's a bit more, eh?"

"Bastard." she whispered, as his hand traveled down to where her oversized sweater was hanging. He lifted the hem, sliding it slowly up. His forehead wrinkled at what he saw. Three parallel cut marks were healing on her left thigh, they looked like they'd been scored in pretty deep, but very, very slender lines. By the look of it, they were at least a week old. Her other thigh was a mess of circular bruises. They almost looked like the bruises left by cupping during a massage. He wondered for a second what had caused them. They were perfectly uniform, like the blunt end of something had just been smacked down into her leg and then held there. He looked up at her. She had her eyes closed, but tears were running down her cheeks. Any anger he felt towards her fled right then. Leaning close, he kissed where one tear was tracking down her face. He slid his body in so that it covered hers completely against the wall, holding himself softly against her. He didn't let go of where her hands were pinned but he loosened his grip slightly. Putting his face close to her ear, so his lips brushed against it, he whispered, "Ah Cara, love, what's this?"

She took a deep breath in, then exhaled slowly.

"Did Gary somehow do this?" he asked her, still whispering.

She barked a short laugh, that sounded close to a strangled sob.

"Gary? No. Gary would never, in a million years, dream of something like this. This was all me, Lucas. It's horrid. It's my secret."

He shhed her before her tears started, as he heard her voice break on the last word.

"We all have secrets. Did you do this to yourself?"

He felt her head nod against where he had his against hers.

"Why?" Part of him hurt that she felt the need to do this, part of him exulted that maybe, maybe, she'd actually understand some of his own dark side.

"Because..because when the pain gets too bad, I need to do something. I need to feel the pain on the outside of me. I know. It sounds dumb,"

He interrupted her. "No, not dumb, love. Maybe not the best way to cope but not dumb either."

"Okay. I sometimes hurt myself when life gets to me. It..well, it helps. It helps me to focus outside of my own stupid head."

He snapped his head back, and taking his hand, he cradled the side of her face with it, his thumb wiping at one of her tears.

"Stop calling yourself stupid or dumb. You're neither, and I won't hear it."

"But, it's so, well it's just so messed up." her voice was little. He couldn't figure out any other word for it, other than diminished, little.

"I'm not judging you. Trust me. I'm not. But, don't you have scars? How the hell did you hide those from the camera so long?"

"I don't cut often. And when I have in the past it's been tiny, tiny little places where no one can see. I just, I just was already in so much pain even before this. I felt wrong in my gut, in my head, and I was so confused. I broke one night and did it. Now, I know exactly why, but I didn't then."

Lucas dropped his hand and lightly traced over the bruises.

"And, these?"

She sighed and seemed to consider how to answer.

"Tell me, Cara." he dropped his voice into a commanding tone.

"When I wanted to stop thinking about Gary, when I wanted to stop thinking about that snake, and about my life..well, there's a flashlight in the room in case the power goes out, and, and, well I used it. I usually do bruises. They fade or you can explain them away easier." her voice trailed off. She'd still not opened her eyes.

"Cara." She didn't make any notice of his voice saying her name. He leaned in his head again, and putting his lips right against her ear, tried again. "Cara. Open your eyes."

She did slowly. They were full of tears and she stared at him, partly in defiance, partly in shame.

"Lucas, if this changes how you see me, can... can you pretend it doesn't and then maybe just leave early? I can't bear it otherwise."

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he traced her leg lightly again with his thumb.

"Cara, you are an amazing woman. This doesn't change that. This changes nothing about how I feel about you. I told you, we all have our secrets. This is just another sign of your strength to me." Leaning in, he kissed her forehead softly. He knew if he even tried a short kiss on her lips, it wouldn't stop there.

"Really?" her voice was a little unbelieving.

"Yes. Trust me. It changes nothing...in fact, I should probably-" Right then, a loud ringing nose began from his coat pocket. He closed his eyes and swore to himself. He waited a moment for it to go to voicemail. As soon as the call ended, it began again. He waited again, looking into Cara's eyes. She stared back at him. When it began ringing a third time, he slowly let go of her wrists.

"Guess whomever it is can't bloody wait a minute or two. Shake your wrists and arms out slowly, get the blood flowing again, hm?" he felt the moment in which he could start telling her his secrets slip away. He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, which was on its fourth set of rings. It better not be any fucking reporter. He may just break the veneer and yell.

He looked at his caller ID.

Bobby McKenzie.

Fuck, he thought.

Swiping the button to answer he held the phone to his ear.

"Lucas here."

"Yeah, mate, you may want to get out of where you're at. Some weird shop in Cromarty, right? You've been busted. A picture of you and Cara on the sidewalk just up from there, looking, um, very cozy, just got uploaded five minutes ago. With the information of what place you went into next. It's out. You're busted."

"Fuck. Are you sure?"

"If I wasn't, do you think I'd be calling you, man? Rahim just called me in a panic. Get out of there, NOW."

He met Cara's eyes, hers widening at what she saw on his face. While still listening to Bobby talking, he picked up her yoga pants, holding them for her. She held onto his shoulder and slid her legs in them. He bent down, while McKenzie asked why the hell he'd thought having some cozy embrace on a public sidewalk was such a great idea, sliding her flats onto her feet. Once he had her sorted, he looked up at her. She was biting her lip and he could tell that her anxiety was rising. She could probably hear Bobby through the phone, he was only inches from her.

"I understand Bobby. It was an error of judgment on my part. Thank-you for calling." With that he hung up just as Bobby started swearing, his Glaswegian accent deepening, Lucas heard the name Gary in there and was glad he'd decided to hang up.

"Ready to run, love?" he looked down at her.

She nodded, her eyes filling again. He called himself a fucking idiot in his head, grabbed her hand and began pulling her from the shop.


	17. I'll Scream Your Name--But, Not in a Good Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rise and fall, back up against the wall  
> What goes around is coming back and haunting you  
> It's time to quit 'cause you ain't worth the shit  
> Under my shoes or the piss on the ground"
> 
> Green Day, "Platypus (I Hate You)"
> 
> "But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength  
> And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up  
> And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse"
> 
> Eminem, "Till I Collapse"

The next half hour passed in a blur for Cara. She only focused on Lucas's hand in hers on the run back to the inn, at his voice in her ear, telling her to get their things from the room, that he was paying for the room and getting them out of there. When he asked for her phone, she handed it over, without even thinking about it. She was on auto-pilot again, just like when she'd fled her and Gary's flat a few days back. It felt good though to not even have to make a decision. She was so tired of running. She was tired of trying to figure out what to do. She was tired of pushing her rage down and down until it threatened to choke her.

She threw her things in her bag, zipped it up, then looked around the room. It had been her refuge. She had felt safe. She knew it'd been an illusion, but she also couldn't stop the anger that Lucas had destroyed it. She knew that it was irrational. Eventually, someone would have figured it out. Jo would have slipped the information. Someone else from last summer would have cracked Rahim. She was the stupid one. She was the one that had trusted someone with the information.

Stomping her foot against the ground hard, feeling the reverberations travel up her leg, the impact so hard she could feel the sting in the cuts on that leg. She lost herself in the slight sting for a second.

"Fuck." she muttered under her breath. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She breathed in deep. She couldn't lose it, she couldn't turn into a screaming banshee. Not only was there not time, she didn't want to scare Lucas off. Even though part of her blamed him for the exposure, she still wanted him around. She liked that he was taking care of stuff, she craved the peace she felt. In the dressing room, before Bobby's call, was the first time in her life she'd not felt like a freak about her need for pain to distract. If she lost her temper, if she gave into the desire to just let the rage consume her and take her over, he'd run for the hills. The words of her mother ran through her mind.

"No man likes a woman who is angry. They want sweet. They want nice. You ever want a man, you'll learn how to get that temper under control, missy."

Tears sprang to her eyes. She was so exhausted of always sucking it down. She'd have gone off so many times on Marisol, on Hope, on Noah's constant checking her out when Hope wasn't looking, if she'd just let it go.

"Breathe, Cara. Just breathe." she muttered to herself, as she looked around the room for anything left behind. She noticed the crumpled up papers on the desk. Walking over to them, she grabbed all of the attempts, all the empty words, and flung them into the small wastebasket next to the desk.

Lucas came in just as she got done, surveying the room for anything left. He stalked into the bathroom, to check in there. Once he came back, he looked at her, as she stood there, breathing hard, her fists clenched. She looked back at him, staring him directly in the eyes. She couldn't move at the sorrow she saw in his eyes, at the anger she could see. For just a moment, she was transfixed. It was like looking in a mirror. She broke eye contact first, unable to bear seeing herself in him. He was beautiful. She wasn't, no matter what he said.

"I realized, we should change our clothes."

She looked back up at him, confused. Any moment, someone could dial this inn to see if she was checked in here, and he wanted to change clothes?? He studied her face for a moment.

"If there's a picture, it's of us wearing these outfits." he waved his hand, outlining both of their shapes. "If we change, it might be easier to go unnoticed. We'll be in my rental car, thank God I didn't bring my bike. We may be able to get out of the area before anyone notices."

She grabbed her bag and slid it closer to her and unzipped it. She didn't trust herself to speak right now. Rifling through what she had in there, she bit her lip. There was nothing clean, nothing she hadn't cried her heart out in, or worn while a stinky mess. She gripped the edge of the bag, hard, and froze. She, couldn't, she just couldn't do anything more.

Lucas's large hand appeared in her field of vision, his hand holding a soft, hunter green sweater.

"Take this, it'll be large on you, but it's clean."

She nodded, still not trusting herself to speak. She felt his fingers against hers as she reached for the sweater, and he squeezed her fingers lightly before releasing it into her grasp. Not even thinking about it, she reached for the hem of her own sweater and raised it above her head. Raising her head as she pulled it over her head, she caught Lucas's eyes on her. He was staring at her breasts, covered as they were by her black cotton bra. She saw the desire as he stared, seemingly lost for a moment. The rawness of it took her breath away. She flashed back to the kiss in the bathroom, the hungry look was the same. She turned her head a bit to the side, tearing her gaze from his face. She didn't know what to do with that look right now. Shrugging on Lucas's sweater, over her head, she felt the softness of it gently glide over her. She could smell him all around her now. It helped her for a moment. It brought how she'd felt in the changing room back, that feeling of peace he'd given her with his words.

FLASH

Time seemed to jump for her again and she realized she'd been lost in a haze of her own thoughts again. She knew, in a remote sort of way, that Lucas had grabbed their bags after folding her sweater into hers and zipping it up, then grabbed her hand, and tugged her gently out of the room before leading her to his car. Once they were in the car, she'd leaned her head against the window, falling into a semi-doze. She'd just wakened now from some weird dream, where she'd been a kitchen with Lucas who was nude except for some flannel tied around his waist, eating olives out of a jar. Shaking her head to rid it of the confusing image, she looked up.

They were now speeding along the A9. She had no idea where they were heading. Right now, she didn't even care. She just stared out the window. Suddenly, Lucas flicked his turn signal on and took an exit off a roundabout. She stared over at him in confusion. He looked back over at her.

"I just have a stop I need to make. It won't take long. You can wait in the car."

She nodded, her gaze going back out the window. The motion of the things outside the window soothed her, helping her push everything down. The panic, the anger, the extreme loss that had been washing over her for days, it all just seemed very remote right now.

The car slowed down, turning into the car park of a Tesco. She wasn't even sure where they were right now, and had a small moment of amazement that Lucas found a shop this large in the Highlands. Though, what did she know? She barely knew more than some Yank what you could find in the Highlands.

Lucas turned off the car and just sat for a moment, before reaching into the backseat and unzipping his bag. He pulled out a ball cap, fitting it onto his head. Cara stared at him in amazement. She couldn't remember a single time, ever, in person or in pictures that she'd seen Lucas wearing a hat. She thought how his hair looked was far too important to him to mess it up with a hat.

His lips quirked up into a small grin.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. This isn't the first time I've used a hat to hide myself. When you're known for having perfectly controlled hair no one thinks you'll be in a hat."

Cara returned his smile with a small one of hers. It actually did make a lot of sense.

"You wait here, okay? I don't have a second hat. Here, take your phone. If anything happens, if you need me, you call? Alright?"

She nodded as she took her phone from him. She'd not even realized he still had it. She felt a weird rush of gratitude that he'd found a way to take one thing off her plate.

"Lucas." her voice came out in a croak from the last couple of hours of not using it and the effort of holding back all her emotions.

He looked back at her, eyebrows raised in a question.

"Thank-you. For," she waved her hands around to encompass all of it.

His face darkened.

"No need to thank me. If it wasn't for me, you'd be safe in your room right now in Cromarty."

"Yes, but I'd be worse off than I am right now. Trust me." She reached a hand out and lightly stroked her fingertips over his arm. She felt a little of the tension that he was holding in release at that and felt a rush that she could do this for him. She was still mad at him but battling the irrationality of it and not wanting to scare him off.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, but didn't shrug her hand off his arm, so she kept it on there a moment longer, before squeezing his arm gently and letting go. After another couple of seconds, he opened his eyes and glanced at her.

"Right. I'll only be a few minutes. Any requests?"

"Salt and vinegar crisps?"

"I will deliver you the biggest bag of salt and vinegar crisps this place has to offer." he said as he swung himself out of the car. Looking back in at her, he pointed a finger, "Stay. Please."

She nodded. He shut the door and she watched him stalk towards the shop's door. She tried to empty her mind. Instead, she found herself staring down at her phone. There were so many missed calls. But when she unlocked it and went to the missed call screens, she saw that Gary had tried calling her ten times in the last hour. She grimaced and was just about to lock her phone again, when it began to vibrate in her hand.

"My hot husband" flashed up from her caller ID. The tears sprang to her eyes when she remembered putting that in the night of the wedding, showing him and both of them laughing before dashing into the bathroom to take a bath. Before. Before it all went wrong, even if she didn't know it had. The vibrating died down. She kept staring at her phone through the haze of tears. It started up again. Suddenly, Cara was done avoiding this. She knew he wouldn't stop trying until she answered.

She answered the phone but didn't say anything at first.

"Cara?" his voice exploded in her ear. She clamped down all the images that threatened to flood her at the sound. His voice sounded worried, it sounded pissed off, it sounded sad, all at the same time.

"I'm here."

"No, you aren't here. That's the problem. You aren't here and we can't fix this while you're off gallivanting around the UK!" his voice whipped back at her.

"Is there something to fix? It seems to me that you made your decision the night we got married. Or maybe it was the morning after."

He cut her off. "Don't be ridiculous, Cara. It was one time. It's nothing. It meant nothing."

She could feel the wall crumbling, the wall holding it all back. She didn't respond, suddenly terrified of what might come out of her if she did open her mouth. She started breathing in, holding it, then breathing out. She heard Lucas's voice from earlier in the day telling her how to breathe. 

"Say something. Anything. We can't be done, Cara, we just can't. What will I tell my Nan?" that last came out in a small voice. That question was what broke it for her. Her breaths were forgotten, everything was forgotten as the wall came down and the red-hot sea of all her buried anger, all of her buried resentment broke over her. She was drowning in fire.

"Your nan?" she snapped back. "What about me, Gary? Is that the reason for this call? You need to get me back so that you can get your NAN off your back?"

"What? No, no, Cara. I just, just, everything is all messed up. I'm afraid to call her. I'm afraid to leave our flat."

"You? You're afraid to leave? You're afraid to talk to anyone? You act like this is something someone else has done to you."

"Well, Hannah did this. She shouldn't have published that. She shouldn't have said anything."

"What. The. Fuck. Gary! Yeah, that bitch shouldn't have done anything, including coming onto you in an elevator on your wedding night. But, last I checked, her story didn't include anything about a gun to your head telling you to slide your big, dumb cock into her, did it? Or was there a gun? Did she threaten you with death if you didn't fuck her, hm? DID SHE?" Her last two words ended in a shout.

A stunned silence met her. She didn't think she'd ever cursed directly at Gary, or anyone else, in his hearing.

"Cara. Come on, calm down. Let's talk about this,"

She cut him off. "Calm down? Why the hell do I need to calm down? Will you be blaming me for your woes next? First that bitch, now the bitch you're married to? Grow the fuck up, Gary. Own it. On the night of our wedding, you took your cock out, you lined it up to another woman's pussy and you slammed it into her. This is on you, I had nothing to do with it."

There was another moment of silence.

"Christ. Woman. You had nothing to do with this? How about asking me to marry you in front of all our friends and cameras filming our reunion? You think I could have said no to that? You think that would have been a time to tell you I wasn't ready?"

She laughed bitterly. "There we go, asshole. There.We.Go. There's the shifting of blame onto me. There were months between when I asked you and when we actually got married. At any point, you could have said, 'hey wait a minute. can we shift the date back? can we postpone this? I don't feel ready.' But no! You went along. You HAPPILY went along. Or, wait, were you fucking other women all during this time?"

"Fuck. I knew you were a little messed up, but never knew you were such a fucking cunt." His voice came to her after a pause, vicious and low.

Cara threw her head back and laughed, long and hard.

"That's all the answer I need, sweetheart. Tell me, were they good? Will there be more tell-all books being written? Or, maybe, you just paid for it? Did you get your dick wet in escorts' pussies?"

"Me? You want to talk about me. Let's talk about you. We fight. You run off, right to the arms of that smarmy git? I knew you had a thing for him. You've always had a thing for him. You spread your legs yet for him? You act all innocent and sweet, but you forget, I've fucked you. I know you're a kinky little slut when you want to be."

That stuttered Cara's anger for a moment. She'd never heard Gary talk like this before. Of course, he'd not heard her talk like this either.

"Your silence is all the answer I need, SWEETHEART." his voice came back at her mocking.

"For fuck's sake, Gary, what would your Nan say at your behavior right now?" her anger came back full-force. It felt good. It was cleansing her. Just then she heard the back car door open. Lucas leaned in, as Gary came back.

"Well. She'd probably be glad I'm getting rid of such a trash of a woman. Jesus Christ. Two days away from me and you're spreading those legs for anyone, aren't you?"

She looked over her shoulder at Lucas, he was staring at her carefully. Gary's voice had been so loud that it had pretty much filled the space inside the car. His face was tight, his own eyes showing fury. She narrowed her eyes at him and sliced a finger across her throat in a silence gesture. He braced his arms on the seat, propping himself there, looking at her. She whipped her head around while throwing her middle finger up at him. Let the bastard listen then. Why not? Her whole life seemed to be entertainment for the masses the last year and a half.

"Me? We already forget whose dick wetting habits got us into this mess to begin with? You never answered. Are you blameless in this? Did she threaten you with a gun? Did all the escorts you paid to fuck threaten you and then steal your wallet? You've been a cheater since day one. I was just so fucking clueless that I thought it was different now. You had no problem putting one on Priya the night she took you from me, after telling me you didn't even want her to pick you, you had noooo issue putting one on Lottie while also kissing me every chance you got while coupled with Marisol, you couldn't handle someone might not want to kiss you or do more so you lied abo.."

He cut her off. "Oh, you stupid, clueless bitch, I never lied about Marisol. She lied about me. I just went along with it."

"What? You and Marisol," her voice trailed off in confusion. What the hell was he talking about?

"We pretty much fucked that night. Not sure why she didn't want it to be known, but she didn't. I figured if I kept pushing it, it'd look bad. So, yeah, fine, I decided to be the bad guy there and pretend I lied about it. Worked a treat with the viewers, didn't it? Every season needs a player made into a good guy storyline."

"What??" What he was saying still wasn't sinking in fully for her.

"I should have let Lucas have you when he stole you. But, see, darling, I never lose a woman I really want until I'm ready to lose her. I wasn't ready to lose you. Was pretty easy to just let it slip to Blake that all she had to do was tell Lucas all about those secret kisses of ours that happened after he came into the villa. Loverboy wasn't so anxious to have used goods, now was he?"

Cara looked back over her shoulder at Lucas, biting her lip. The look on his face confirmed every word Gary was saying. The pit of her stomach dropped. Gary was still going on.

"Also, hey, I figured, with you by my side I had a shot to be either 50,000 pounds richer or 25. Be glad you got the envelope. By the way how's it feel having Blake's second helpings, sweetheart? You like it? From what she's told me, he had no problem fucking her in every position possible. It's cool though, you're not good enough for anything else. You're damaged goods now, baby. You're going to live life as everyone's second helping."

Cara opened her mouth and all her words had left her. She let out a bloodcurdling scream, every ounce of all her rage at Gary, at Lucas, at LIFE pouring into it. Lucas stood up abruptly, closing the car door. She couldn't even care. Maybe he was going to run now. She just kept screaming with no words. Suddenly her door opened. Lucas's hand came towards her, palm open. She kept screaming. She no longer gave any sort of fuck who was around, who heard her. She was done. Done with everything. His hand grasped the phone she was still holding at her mouth. She tightened her grip. She hoped Gary's eardrums were exploding. She wasn't ready to be done with this. Lucas tugged harder and the phone fell out of her grasp. He put it up to his ear and began to speak. Her scream died down in her throat. He kept his eyes on her, pinning her to her seat with just his gaze.

"Good evening, Gary."

He smirked at whatever Gary said in response.

"For your information, Cara and I have not done anything. Not that you deserve that information. I made the effort to find her, I came up here to take care of her, since you seem singularly incapable of taking care of anyone, much less yourself. And, for your information, if I ever do fuck Cara? I will have the time of my life erasing any memory of you from her mind, body, and heart."

Cara sat back stunned at his words. What was happening right now?

He took the phone away from his ear, she could hear Gary yelling but couldn't make out the words through the haze of confusion she now felt. He looked down at the screen with a contemptuous look on his face and hit the hang up button. He handed her back her phone, leaning into the car and kissing her forehead softly. He gently closed her door, walked around to his side and climbed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wanting to see Lucas, nude in a kitchen, just wearing a flannel, head over to Redlightsdistrict's excellent fic, Down The Rabbit Hole
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726982/chapters/59772610
> 
> Thank-you Kat for letting me use your Lucas in a different dimension for Cara <3


	18. Car Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wrap my eyes in bandages  
> Confessions I see through  
> I get everything I want  
> When I get part of you"  
> Nine Inch Nails, "Ringfinger"
> 
> "You can have my isolation  
> You can have the hate that it brings  
> You can have my absence of faith  
> You can have my everything"  
> Nine Inch Nails, "Closer"

Lucas's hands gripped the steering wheel. Cara's scream still lingered inside the car. He stared down at where his knuckles were whitening with the tightness he was holding on. He had managed to stay calm while speaking with Gary. That absolute waste of space didn't deserve his rage. He flicked his eyes over at Cara. He definitely did not deserve her. He breathed in deep, then exhaled, trying to get some of the rage to leave his body. He didn't want any of it in his voice when he spoke. He didn't want her to think any of it was directed at her. This was all on him, all on Gary. He had had a chance to save her from this walking textbook of toxic masculinity and he'd chickened out back then. He'd allowed his jealousy and his insecurity to lose her, and put her where she was at right now. He closed his eyes, remembering the bruises and cuts on her legs. He'd done that to her.

Edward's voice spoke out in his mind, like he was the one in the passenger seat.

"Yeah, so, what are you going to do about it now, you fucking wanker?" He felt Edward's grip in his hand when they'd clasped hands over the table in the pub just a few days ago. They'd always had faith in each other, even when the other one faltered. He felt some of his rage leak away. Enough left him that he could talk again. Taking one more deep breath in and a slow exhale, he forced his hands to relax and fall from the steering wheel.

He looked over at Cara again, finally fully noticing her. She had her head against the window, her eyes closed, her body pulled up into as tight of a position as she could get it. His heart ached, as his self-loathing rose up in his throat again for a moment, before he swallowed it back down. Now wasn't really the time for him. He knew where Cara was traveling to in her head right now, and it was nowhere that she deserved to go.

Lucas reached over and wrapped one of his hands around where hers were balled into fists in her lap. She tried to tug it away, but he tightened his hand. She struggled for a couple more seconds to keep folding in on herself, but he just kept squeezing a little bit harder, and she finally subsided. He waited about a minute before beginning to speak. He cleared his throat, finding the words hard to get out.

"Cara. Do you need to ask me anything? Talk about it?" he was surprised to hear a small note of pleading in his tone. He never let those things leak into his voice, ever. He inwardly winced, as she flashed a look at him, her eyes filled with tears but widening in surprise. Apparently, it wasn't just evident to his own ears.

"Was.." she paused for a moment. "Was what Gary said the truth? That it was the times I kissed behind Rocco's back that made you go for Blake?" her nose scrunched up a bit in disgust as she said Blake.

Lucas dragged a breath in. He tightened his grip on her scrunched up fists. Bringing his other hand up, he tucked a piece of hair that had fallen out during her screaming and slamming her head against the headrest behind her ear.

"Partly. Yeah."

She looked at him with fury then. He realized her rage hadn't gone down since he took the phone. He felt his heart race a little then. Was he going to see something other than nice, sweet, mediator Cara? He wondered at the small thrill that ran through him at the thought.

"So." her voice came out clipped, heat lacing through the word.

He raised his eyebrows at her, urging her to go on. He watched her start to pull in on herself. He wondered why she just didn't let loose. She gritted her teeth, refusing to go on.

"I couldn't think about what it would be like if you just continued on kissing Gary after you got back from Casa Amor. I figured I'd do you the favor of letting you be so you could carry on swapping spit with that moron." He made his tone a bit mocking.

Her eyes snapped up and she yanked her hands from his grip.

"Lucas Koh, you are a dick. So, my words of wanting to try with you, my willingness to give it a shot? That meant NOTHING to you? You just decided I wasn't to be trusted based on some slutty cunt's word on what was happening?" her voice was raising with every word.

He mentally fist pumped. He didn't know where this was going but at least she wasn't curled in a ball feeling sorry for herself.

"Not just that. I was told things by Gary too." he let his eyes travel up her body and back down, with a smirk.

She glared at him. A tiny fist shot out aiming for his face. He easily caught it and held it in the air.

"Then! Instead of telling me the truth, you fucking lied about it. Is this a fucking game to you? Did you come up here on purpose to out me? What's your fucking game here Koh?" her voice was strangling in her throat, as fury and tears mixed together.

He looked at her a moment. Her eyes were glaring so intensely at him, there was heightened color in her cheeks, she seemed to color so easily at just about everything she felt. Fuck. He didn't want to admit what it was he was feeling right now. So, he just waited a moment.

"Well? what the fuck is all this about, Lucas? Since you let yourself be so discouraged early on, then decided to be in my goddamn wedding, after lying to me about why you went with Blake instead of staying with me? So. Tell me!" the last two words ended coming out as drawn out scream. He winced.

He grabbed her other hand and transferred it to where he already held her one in a tight grip.She struggled a minute, almost breaking free in her fury, before realizing it was pointless and just staring at him, eyes narrowed. He waited another minute, keeping eye contact with her the whole time. He wanted her to hear what he was about to say, so needed her just a tiny bit calmer. He also needed the time himself to order what he was going to say. He'd never planned on telling her, then when he thought he would tell her, he'd never once dreamed he'd be doing it in a Tesco car park for Christ's sake.

He watched her start to gather herself, calming a little bit. When there was a flash of fear in her eyes, he wondered about it for a split second. When she seemed like she was less likely to not hear him through fury pounding through her ears, he began to speak.

"I said partly, Cara. I'm jealous, it's just who I am. When I'm with someone, I want to be the only one that woman is with. In the past, the jealousy has often been a good warning of when something will go wrong. I made an error in judgment about you though. I live with that regret every day." He paused, looking at her face. Confusion was chasing the anger off her face. He took a deep breath and continued.

"I also just, well, I just didn't think I was good enough for you. You were like this vision of light. You were always helping everyone sort themselves, counseling them, making them feel better. I figured I'd just drag you down, I knew I'd ruin you. So, while I didn't like Gary" and apparently for a damn good reason, he thought to himself with disgust at saying Gary's name. "He seemed like he'd treat you right and you'd be okay. Also, another regret I'll live with every day."

"Why?" she whispered.

"Hmm? I don't understand your question, Cara."

"Why did you think you'd ruin me?"

"I didn't think that Cara, I knew it. Most of my life is about feeling the darkness. Most of my time is spent hiding my shit. And, I'm rough on the women in my life."

Her forehead crinkled.

"Rough? How? You've been nothing but kind to me, always." her voice was calmer again, soothing almost in its caress of him.

He sighed and decided to show her a brief glimpse of it. More than he had yet. He remembered like it was seared into his memory exactly where her bruises were. He knew this might end any chance he ever had with her, but it had to be done, she had to know. It was killing him to have an avenue open before him that might not even exist. If it closed, it closed, he'd still go to the moon and back for her and be her best friend. 

He leaned in, so that she leaned back against the car door. He let his fingertips brush down her chest, lightly grazing in between her breasts, trailing down her stomach. She seemed to be holding her breath. He gazed into her eyes before letting his fingertips trail down to where the bruises were on her thighs. Pressing down lightly, but hard enough that she gasped in a little, a small wince playing across her face.

"I like control in all areas of my life. There's rules. And when rules are broken, there are consequences, Cara." He said as he pressed down a little bit again on the bruises. He looked in her eyes to see if she was getting what he was saying. What he saw there though, took his breath away. Her pupils were growing larger, and she took in a deep breath, unconsciously pushing her breasts out so that they strained against the material of the sweater he'd loaned her. He mentally groaned to himself. In for a penny, in for a pound, he figured. Pressing down slightly harder on her bruises, he carefully watched her face. "Most women can't handle it. They don't like the confines of it. They don't enjoy the" pressing down a little further "pain." Her eyes had closed. He brought his fingertips up off the bruise and leaned back. She slowly opened her eyes, they looked slightly hazy for a moment before she regained control.

"And you, well Cara, I just didn't want to see you lose that light. I didn't want to see you wake up one morning and not have that happiness to you." His eyes flicked down to her legs, where the marks were hidden, then back up to her eyes, his eyebrows slightly raised, telling her with his face that obviously he'd not known about that, then. His lips quirked in a small rueful grin.

"To be honest with you, I still think you're too good for me. I think I'll bring you down eventually and you'll run as fast as you can from me."

Cara turned her head away from him and looked out the window. He kept watching her carefully. Her shoulders started to shake. Was she crying? Had he misread how hard he pushed down on her leg, he was so careful with it. Was it too much, hearing his confession on top of the phone conversation with Gary? He put one hand down to his side, on the side of the driver's seat next to the door and began counting on his hand. Then he realized what he was beginning to hear from her side of the car. Giggles that were slowly crescendoing to laughter. Within thirty seconds of him just staring at her in confusion, she was laughing so hard that she'd thrown her head back against the seat.

"Oh.My.Days. Lucas. You got me so wrong. You.."she broke off into laughter again, before taking a breath and trying again, "You got who I want to be. You got the image that I've been taught I have to give. Anger and rage chase people away. But..." her laughter suddenly switched off, and she turned her head to him, he was stunned by the fear on her face, by the anxiety swimming in her eyes, "I'm always angry. I'm always fighting giving into it. It's so ugly. I know it makes me hideous when I'm mad. My mom used to tell me that all the time. How ugly, how ugly, I was...and how much uglier I looked when, when," and she suddenly burst into tears, hiding her face in her hands.

Lucas gritted his teeth. Life was such shit to so many people. He reached for her wrists with one hand and gently tugged at them so her hands slid away from her face, before reaching his other hand and gripping her chin lightly and tilting her head up so she had to look him in the face. 

"And so you never show your anger? Ever?" his voice was incredulous.

She shook her head slightly against the grip he had on her chin. Dropping her eyes, whispering, "Until today. So. If you need to..." she took a deep breath, her voice steadying just a little and coming out of the whisper, "if you need to go, if learning I'm not who you thought and my anger has scared you away, it's fine. Just take me to a train station." She slid her eyes away from him. He let go of her chin and her wrists, before leaning even further over her, his long arm reaching down on the side of the door, before finding the lever and pushing it down so that her seat dropped below the level of the window.

"What the hell, Lucas?" she shrieked as she flew down.

"I really don't need another call with a mad McKenzie on my ass." he told her, as she looked up at him, her face torn between a need to laugh at the statement and confusion. He leaned down, and tilting her chin up towards him, he stared down at her face, as her teeth bit down softly on her very full lower lip. As he leaned in closer, she stopped biting her lip, the confusion winning over the amusement on her face. He really did mean for the kiss to be soft, a comfort to her, but right as he was about to get there, she arched her back a little, a needy look coming over her.

"Fuck." he breathed out, right before his lips claimed hers, pressing hard on hers, when her lips parted slightly, he slid his tongue in and tangled it hard against hers, his had leaving her chin to wrap in the back of her hair where it was pulled up. He needed it down. Breaking the kiss, he whispered in her ear, "Up." his hand pushing against the back of her head to show her. Leaning her head up, she stared at him the confusion still clouding her eyes. He tugged at the scrunchie that was holding all her hair on top of her head and yanked it out. Her hair fell in the wavy cloud that he'd often dreamed of these last few months. Wrapping his hand in it, he brought his lips to hers again. This time, he achieved a gentler kiss, his lips just pressing softly against hers. Until she sighed and opened her mouth, her tongue darting between his, softly flicking against the tip of his tongue. Groaning a little in his throat, he wrapped his hand even tighter in her hair, tugging her head even closer to hers. He sucked her bottom lip between his lips before sliding his tongue back in her mouth, tangling it with hers, his other hand sliding down, squeezing her thigh before he slid it up under the hem of the sweater. His fingertips slid softly up until they hit the edge of her bra. Cupping his hand around the swell of her tit, his thumb flicked over the front of the cup of her bra, rubbing against the her stiff nipple, pulling far enough from the kiss while still keeping contact to smirk against her mouth at the feel of how much she wanted this too. He broke the kiss to run his teeth lightly along her neck. Sliding his fingers up underneath the bottom of her bra, he gripped her satiny skin, his thumb finding the edge of her bra and sliding under to continue the teasing of her nipple. She made a small noise deep in her throat and he grinned against her neck. He lightly bit at her neck before sucking the skin hard between his lips. She moaned a little louder. He stopped sucking and lightly flicked his tongue over the spot, noting in satisfaction how it was already reddening. Trailing his tongue up her neck until he was right at her ear, he stilled his thumb so it was just pressing against her nipple for a moment before withdrawing his hand. She whimpered a little at feeling it go. He drank in her scent, his mouth paused against her neck. He was taking a breath. When he knew he was under control, he whispered in her ear.

"That's how much I don't want to leave. That's also how much all of you, your rage, your goofy sense of humor, and your goodness all mixed together turns me on. None of it is ugly." He slowly sat up, raising her chair back as he withdrew to his side of the car. She looked over at him, her breath coming in gasps.

When he noticed she was looking, he winked at her.

"That was the right time, darling, in case you were wondering."

She scowled a little at him. He burst out laughing at just how cute she looked right then.

"Oh." was all she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started out going somewhere else, it went here and now tomorrow I have to write where it was going today. Please feel free to leave any and all comments and suggestions, <3 all of them!


	19. Pain Can Cut Like a Knife or Heal Like a Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm alive for you  
> I'm awake because of you  
> I'm alive I told you  
> I'm awake swallowing you"  
> "Awake" by Godsmack
> 
> "All you've been thinking about  
> Do anything you want and let emotion roll your mind (roll your mind)  
> And now you say you dream about  
> doing it anyway oh yeah, just tell me where it's on your mind  
> (on your mind) (another one, another one)  
> Sit in my whip and see the stars (and see the stars)  
> Show me just who you are (show me just who you are)  
> You know I really hold you down (hold you down)  
> "Hold You Down" DJ Khaled
> 
> "I see your eyes  
> In my own reflection  
> These broken skys  
> Begin begin to mend"  
> "Everyday is a winding road" Sheryl Crow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turn back now if the idea of some bdsm pain bothers you. (Though if you've not spotted where this is going, I am not sure what to say lol)
> 
> This chapter is a split narration one. First half is Cara, second half is Lucas.
> 
> (and if you've been wondering what's up with the other Islanders Operation Take Down Hannah and Edward's revenge, don't worry, they'll be showing up soon too :) )

Cara drew up her knees to her chest as Lucas started the car. Her mind was swimming. She felt like she'd felt just about every emotion today. From giddy fun trying on boas, to fear that Lucas would run from the dressing room, to the extreme rage at Gary and then at Lucas, back to confusion over the things Lucas was telling her, all the way to the waves of desire that had threatened to drown her when Lucas was kissing her. She brought a hand up and lightly stroked her fingers over the spot on her neck that was still stinging a little. 

"Does it hurt? Was it too much?" his voice cut through the fog her mind was in. 

She thought for a moment. "Yes. And no."

"Explain."

"It hurts. But it wasn't too much. It was, it was just right." she peeked up from under her lashes at him. He was faced straightforward, as he'd started the car up and had them on the roadway again. He cut his eyes over her way though, and smiled. 

"Good." He didn't seem interested in saying anything more.

Cara stared out the window, watching the scenery flow by. She was so confused right now. She felt safe in this car, with Lucas, but she could feel Gary's words start to bounce around her head. She'd not had really any time to process the things he'd said. He'd played her during the game? He thought she was messed up? She'd been so careful with Gary not to show that side of herself. Maybe he'd noticed the scars while they were in bed? Specifically, the words "damaged goods" in that ugly, sneering tone he'd had were ricocheting. She tried repeating to herself the things Lucas had said instead. But, what if he was still just going off surface? Gary had been living with her for months. Wouldn't he be the one to know? She hugged her knees tighter to her chest, her head still turned away from Lucas and out the window.

"What are you thinking about?" his voice cut in to her thoughts. 

She thought for a moment. "I was wondering where we were going."

"Look at me, Cara." 

She turned her head slightly, making eye contact with him with one eye.

"I know you're lying. But I'm letting it pass this time."

She grinned at him. "Oh? Is that a warning?"

"Mhm."

"We'll see." she stuck her tongue out at him, before looking back towards the window. While she wanted to keep up the flirting with him, her thoughts were starting to drag her away. Damaged goods, Gary's voice jeered in her head again. She blinked her eyes hard to stop the tears from starting again. She didn't want to talk about it, and if she began crying, Lucas would probably make her talk about it. He had a way of dragging the words out of the very depths of her. 

He waited a moment, then answered her earlier question.

"My best friend, Edward, well if he'd been in the Villa, let's just say that Priya and Hope would have been entranced. He's the heir to a title. His family own more than one home. I called him while in Tesco and asked if we could use one of his places for a bit, whether that's one day or weeks, it's up to you. No one is using it right now. I can even let you have it in peace, if you'd like."

"No." she whispered. His hand reached out and gently squeezed her knee.

"I'm here with you as long as you'll have me."

"Thank-you", she said, hating the way the tears could be heard in her voice. He didn't say anything, just lightly squeezed her knee again, leaving his hand there for a few minutes. 

"How far is it?" 

"Not far. It's what made me think of it. I've been here a couple times with Edward over the years. It's," he paused, she looked over at him and he was glancing at the car's navigation screen, "32.4 kilometers."

"Okay."

She shrunk her hands up into her sleeves. She could do this. She could pack all of the Gary stuff away to think about later. As if in answer to that resolve, his voice whispered again in her mind "Be glad I didn't get the money...you're damaged goods". She squeezed her eyes tight and hunched further towards her knees, her head now brushing against the backs of Lucas's fingers where they rested on knee. He took his hand off her knee and stroked it over her hair. Why was she such a coward? Why hadn't she fought for Lucas? She could have saved him from dumping, maybe something would have started. Maybe they'd be happy somewhere right now, not this mess of him trying to hold her together while her insides spilled out all over everywhere. It was only a matter of time. Her mom's voice joined Gary's. "Ugly. God, you're so ugly, Cara. No man will ever want you." She was losing it. Soon, she knew, every voice that had ever flung pain her way would be whispering and yelling and screaming in her head. She dug her nails into her palms, the pain distracting her for a moment. But it wasn't enough. God, no. Not now. She didn't think Lucas would leave her alone long enough to do what she needed to do. She doubted after seeing her marks earlier, he'd be so casual about missing her trying to hide her legs from him over the next few days while anything new faded away. She made herself focus harder on the pain of her nails, digging them in a bit harder.

Time passed in a blur of alternating nibbles of pain in her palms and the voices of her past starting up again. Or, she guessed, one of those voices, the loudest, was her present. She felt the car begin to slow down and turn off onto an exit. She kept her eyes closed. Another few minutes passed. She felt the car crunch onto a graveled road. Or she supposed, if it was some posh estate, it was probably something classy like imported shells from New Zealand or something. 

"We're here." Lucas's voice cut through the chaos in her head. She raised her head and looked up.

"This is not what I expected." The house in front of her wasn't some grand estate, just a small and charming cottage, with ivy covering its walls. 

"It's never been the family vacation home. This was a gift of some great grand-parent to a mistress or something. I'm not sure, Edward told me but it was when we were quite young, so I don't remember now."

Cara smiled, charmed at the sight of the place. 

"Great, let's go check it out then, shall we?" she turned to Lucas, purposefully turning up the wattage of her smile. He smiled back at her, but his eyes looked a little troubled. She'd just have to work harder at pushing the stuff down. She didn't think she could talk about it. Not now. Not when all the voices were so loud, clamoring for her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucas: 

He climbed out of the car, stretching his arms over his head, feeling the stretch pull his spine. He turned at the sound of Cara's door opening, watching as she climbed out and looked at the building. He felt unease growing. Something wasn't quite right right now. He thought it might just be the last conversation with Gary playing in her head. He didn't think she'd have said no to his offer to let her be if she had been freaked out by him and the things he'd said and did. But, he couldn't stop the anxiety. He opened the backdoor, collecting his Tesco bag, and both of their clothing bags. He really needed to figure out a way to get more clothes up here for both of them if she wanted to stay longer than a couple of days. He abhorred wearing the same clothes every day, even if they were being washed between wears. He shook his head, he hated sometimes when his mind insisted on throwing up organizational details, even during times he wanted to have his focus on something else. Walking around the car, he came alongside Cara. He looked down at her.

"Ready?"

She nodded up at him, the smile still on her lips. This close though, he could see the strain of it around her eyes. Internally, he sighed. He was right, she wasn't okay right now. 

"I'm excited. Let's go!" she threw her arms wide, his sweater trailing over her knuckles. He smiled at how large it looked on her. She bounded up the small path leading from the driveway to the cottage. He followed behind her. When they got to the door, she tried the door handle.

He smirked down at her. "It may be out in the middle of nowhere and not their most expensive property, but Edward's family wouldn't just leave it wide open waiting for Goldilocks to come in and eat all their porridge."

She laughed. "Okay then, Dr. Smartypants, where is the key to get in?" 

He put down his bags and felt on top of the door ledge. Feeling the key, he took it down.

"Of course, their security on this place isn't the same as their other places."

He unlocked the door, and motioned to her to enter ahead of him, even while he began to pick up their bags. He followed her, standing beside her while she drank in all the details. It hadn't changed since the last time he and Edward had come up here, a couple weeks after Love Island's season had finished last year. It had been decorated in country cottage charm, as Lucas liked to think of it. He smiled at Cara, who was staring around in pleasure at the decorating touches around the room.

"Chels would love it here." 

"Or she'd want to fill it with pillows with sayings."

A laugh burbled out of her, "Or that." she agreed with him. He reached for her hand, watching her face. She inhaled in a small gasp, a wince flashing over her face. He gritted his teeth, as he turned her palm over in his hand, staring at the small, bloody marks that her nails had dug into her palms. 

"Cara." his voice was low, dangerously so. "What the hell is this?" he looked down at the top of her head. "Look at me, please, Cara." he softened his tone.

She looked up at him. Her eyes were fearful. 

"I'm sorry." she whispered. He brushed his thumb softly over the marks. He hated the shame he saw filling her eyes a moment later.

He gathered her into him, wrapping his arms around her, squeezing her tightly against him.

"Love, there's no need to sorry for doing it. Though you should have told me that you were feeling the need for it." She wrapped her arms around him, her body seeming to meld into his. He closed his eyes, resting his chin on the top of her head. He was thinking, planning, discarding one idea for another, but quickly. Finally, he released her and stepped back, one hand on her shoulder. He used the other to grip her chin a little tighter than he had earlier, forcing her face to look up at his.

"Cara." The fear flashed in her eyes at the sound of his voice again. He sighed. He figured she probably didn't want to talk about it right now. To be fair, he didn't think words would do her a lot of good right now anyway. He cleared his throat, and tried again. "Cara. Do you trust me?" She bit her lip looking up at him, her eyes examining his face carefully, before finally nodding. 

"Good. I'm going to help you. But, I need you to do exactly what I say, when I say it, can you do it? Answer carefully."

She nodded again. 

"No. I need your words. Tell me in words, please."

"Yes."

"Good girl." Leaning in, his mouth took hers, slowly, his lips not demanding anything from her, there would be plenty of time for that later. Breaking the kiss a moment later, he smiled at her. 

"Upstairs, there's a room on the left, you'll know it. It's got a king-size sleigh bed. That's the room I use when I'm here. I want you to go up there. I want you to strip down to just your underthings, then lay face down on the bed. Use whatever pillows you need to, to be comfortable."

"Lucas?" she asked him, her forehead crinkling in confusion.

"Now. You said you'd do what I said, when I said it. This is the first step. Trust me, it will help. I promise. Doctor's orders." he finished with a wink, hoping to relieve any fear she was feeling.

She grinned. "I guess I could then, if the doctor ordered it." 

"He does. Now go with you. I'll be up shortly." As she turned, he delivered a soft swat to her ass.

After she had left the room, he pulled out his phone. He cursed under his breath. There were like 30 missed calls, and multiple messages. He was going to have to wait to look at most of them. Instead he unlocked the screen and opened WhatsApp. There were messages in there from Bobby.

\--Dude, wtf were you thinking? You want the focus off Cara, right? You're doing a bang-up job with that, arsehole.   
\--Seriously? Now you're in a Tesco parking lot, letting her scream her head off in the car, while you have your head in the backseat with your arse hanging out?   
Lucas groaned to himself, Bobby had attached the picture that someone had gotten of them.   
\--I will come get her myself if you don't do a better job, Koh!! Rahim has turned his damn phone off.   
That last message had just been sent five minutes ago.   
Lucas quickly typed a response.  
\--We're sorted now, thank-you. No one should spot us now. It's a hidden away place of a friend of mine. I'm sorry. The screaming was a conversation with Gary. I'll provide more details later. Right now, Cara is understandably upset and so I'm hiding both our phones away. Just know, the random pictures of Cara about the countryside should be done for now.  
\--Good. You stupid git.

Lucas shook his head as he put his phone down on the kitchen counter. He trailed his fingers along the countertop, drumming them softly. What to use? He thought she might need just a bit more than himself right now. He picked up a wooden spoon from the utensil holder, whacking it against his hand, experimentally. He set it to the side, opening drawers. Not finding anything in them that seemed appropriate, he rocked back on his feet, hooking his thumbs into his waistband, his fingertips drumming against the leather of his belt...he broke off his tapping. Shaking his head, he muttered to himself, "Lucas, you dumbass." 

He left the kitchen, not believing the butterflies that he was feeling right now. If someone had told him a month ago what he would be doing this very second, he'd have wondered just how many drugs or wheatgrass smoothies the idiot had consumed. Taking the steps slowly, he wondered if what he was about to do was the correct thing. He pushed the doubt away. If he left Cara to her own devices, she'd be trying to sneak off with a flashlight or a razor or something significantly worse. This actually was the correct thing to do. This wasn't his first time doing something like this, and he knew exactly how far to take it. He didn't know with everything that had happened if he could trust Cara to stop before it was past the point it should go. He emptied his mind to get into the right headspace he needed to do this. The headspace that would let him take care of her in exactly the way she needed this second in time. This wasn't time for his nerves or his doubts. This was her time. 

He paused in the doorway of the bedroom. Cara was laying on the bed, face-down like he'd requested. She'd shoved two pillows under her chest so that her head was up off the mattress. She probably figured out how to do that with Gary, he seemed the sort to prefer screwing a woman from behind. He pushed that thought away with a flick of a mental finger. That wasn't what he needed to be thinking right now. He focused on her round ass, damn. The things he wanted to do with her right now. He flicked that thought away too. It wasn't the primary thing he needed to be doing right now. He pulled his shirt over his head. He'd want her to feel his skin against hers later. Unbuckling his belt, he slid it through the loops, then walked towards the bed. 

"Cara?" he asked softly, as he walked around to the side of the bed. If she had fallen asleep, he'd just let her sleep for now and carry on after she woke.

She turned her head towards him, he could see the tear tracks on her cheeks. Squatting by the side of the bed, he lightly traced a thumb over the tear. Leaning in, he softly kissed her forehead. 

"I promise. You'll feel better when we're done. But, I do need to make a couple adjustments first."

She squeezed her eyes shut, and nodded. He stood back up and grabbing the pillows under her on both sides, he tugged them so that her and the pillows moved more towards the center of the bed. He grabbed a couple more pillows, and gripping her hips lightly (he reveled in the feel of her skin against his fingertips) he lifted her hips up just enough to slide the pillows underneath. Standing back, he admired how her ass jutted into the air now, pushed up by the pillows beneath it. He lightly traced his fingers from her waist up her back, to her neck and back down. He could feel her relaxing a little under his fingers. He trailed his fingertips back up her neck, before sliding his hand down her arm, to her hand. He took it in his, squeezing it while he moved it up to rest parallel to her cheek. She opened her eyes, looking up at him. He smirked a little at the look in her eyes. There was nerves, but also a sense of anticipation now. It was chasing away the look of desperation that had been there when he first entered the room. Keeping eye contact with her, he leaned over a bit, to take her other hand and pull that arm up parallel to her head too. Wrapping his fingers between hers, he kept her hands lightly pinned down. 

"Still trust me?" he asked her. 

"I trust you." her eyes suddenly had a little pleading in them. He knew it wasn't lust there. This pleading was for him to help her, for him to let her forget for just a bit. 

Leaning down, he kissed her behind her ear softly. Leaving his lips near her skin, "I need you to keep your hands up here for me. Can you do that? Or do you want me to help you a bit and restrain them?"

Her forehead crinkled, and suddenly, her lips quirked into a tiny grin.

"Why? We going to do some 50 shades of grey stuff now, Lucas?"

He laughed a little, still keeping his lips near her skin. "I'm definitely better than 50 shades of grey, love." A small tremor passed through her, and Lucas saw the gooseflesh break out on her skin. "You didn't answer me though."

"I'll keep my hands here. I think."

"I can always stop and adjust if we need to. If at any time, things get just too much, tell me Violet."

She giggled a little, distracted from her own head already a tiny bit. He knew if he let her be though, she'd just slip back into it.

"What? Are you now Violet Man? I don't know if Rahim would approve of Violet being used here." 

He tightened his grip on her hands, pushing them slightly more down. 

"Funny girl. Just remember. Violet." he made his voice come out a little sterner than he would have normally. Even though, he actually was having to stifle his own grin. 

"Yes, Dr. Koh." she purred at him. Fuck, he just hoped he could make it through this without having it become more than it should. 

"Ready?"

"Maybe? Since, I'm actually not entirely sure what you're going to do."

"I'll take that as a yes." Releasing her hands, he stood up all the way, stalking back behind her. 

"Cara. I know you need pain, I know it's how you're distracting yourself right now. I'm going to distract you now. You can stop this though, right now or at any point. This is for you. It'll be fine with me at any point if you want to stop. Understand?"

"Yes." she sighed out, her head turning into the pillow again. He noted her hands were where he'd left them. Good. 

He climbed onto the bed behind her then, kneeling with his legs on either side of her knees. He reached up and yanked her panties down quick. He heard her gasp at the feel of it. He grinned to himself. He hadn't been lying when he said this was all for her, but hey, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it too. He ran his knuckles over her ass lightly. 

"Cara, I imagined a lot what this would look like, last summer and since. It definitely is better than anything I dreamed." While he was talking to her in a low soothing voice, he brought his hand up and smacked it down hard on her left cheek. She yelped a bit, but kept her hands beside her head and didn't say anything. Rubbing his palm softly over the spot, he raised his hand again and brought it down a little harder on the right side, Cara squealing a little at the impact. He rubbed over it softly, before delivering a series of three quick slaps alternated between both sides. He stopped then, watching her. Her breath was coming in ragged, little pants. He looked down at her ass cheeks, at the pink beginning to stain them. 

He decided to give her a chance for an out without her needing to get to shouting out "violet" at him.

"Would you like more, Cara?"

"Yes."

He delivered two quick slaps to her left side. She mewled deep in her throat on the first slap, the second elicited a small groan.

"You forgot your manners there. Want to try again?" he was testing her, he just wanted to see if she would respond how he hoped.

"Yes, please, more, Lucas."

"Good." he soothed his hands over her ass. "I'm going to try something harder. Remember, if it's too much, violet."

"Okay." 

He reached behind him to where he'd laid his belt down on the bed. He wrapped the buckle around his fist, so that the leather end dangled. Bringing it up, he brought it down so it slapped against both of her ass cheeks at once. She screamed out, he watched her hands tighten, her fingers wrapping themselves into a grip on the sheets. He brought the belt down again, this time slightly below where he'd smacked it the first time. She groaned. He barely felt how hard his cock had gotten during this, focused so much on keeping an eye on her. He knew she'd caused her own pain, but it's different to have someone else doing it. He wasn't going to push her past what he felt she could take, regardless of her telling him to stop.

He flicked the belt against her upper thighs, a quick sting, before moving it up again. He alternated the strikes between hard and slower and faster and stinging. After a few more strokes, he dropped the belt. He stroked his fingertips up her legs, before lightly soothing his palms over her ass cheeks. He cursed himself for forgetting to grab any lotion. He didn't want to leave her right now, even for the thirty seconds it would take to grab the lotion from the bathroom. 

"Cara, honey, it's over. You alright?" he said as he laid down to the side of her, taking one of her hands in his and massaging her palm, to loosen the muscles from where she'd been gripping the sheets. She sighed in response, turning on her side, so her back was to him, the pillows under her body getting shoved to the side. 

"Lucas?" her voice sounded a little muzzy. He smoothed her hair away from her neck, looking carefully at her face. Her eyes were half closed, a flush was in her cheeks, and a small smile played on her lips.

"Hmm?"

"I feel like I'm floating." she giggled. "It's amazing. Does it always feel like this?"

"Hm. Well I can't say for sure, as I'm never on the receiving end. It seems to differ every time though, a bit. Depending on the reason for it, how much you are craving it, I guess?"

She laughed again, turning her body so she faced him. 

"So the answer all along, was I should have just been looking for Christian Grey? Or some mafia guy following me about asking if I'm lost and calling me babygirl?" he was relieved to see the impish grin on her face. 

Leaning forward, he kissed her nose. "Of course not, Cara. That would have just been weird."

"Or maybe," she said, propping herself up on her elbow. "Maybe the answer was just right in front of me all along?"

He didn't respond, just wrapping his arm around her neck and pulling her over so that her chest was against his bare skin. He felt the heat of her and closed his eyes for a moment. He was right here, in this second, reveling in how good she felt against him. With his eyes closed, he suddenly felt her shaking against him. His eyes flew open, shit, what was wrong. Just as his eyes opened though, he realized she was silently laughing, holding it in, shaking against him. He figured the waves of endorphins were still hitting her hard. 

"Oh.my.god. Lucas. I was laying here just now, with my mind drifting and I had the weirdest image pop in my head!"

"Yeah? What was it?" he trailed his fingertips over her back and then wrapped his hand lightly in her hair.

"You were asleep," she had to pause as giggles overtook her again, "and, and,"

For fuck's sake, he wondered if she'd be able to get it out.

"And, Bobby was applying some hardcore makeup to your face. And then," her laughter had turned into howls now. He was relieved to not detect any of the hysteria from the day before in there. This was just honest laughter.

"And then, he put a tiara on your head." She collapsed against him in a fit of giggles. He wrapped his arm tighter around her, and kissed the side of her head as her laughter died down.

"God, Lucas. I'm so tired now. But, I feel so good. I feel emptied out and calm."

"Good. You can sleep now, you know, I'll be here when you wake up."

"You better be." her voice was sleepier, he ran his hand down out of her hair and began massaging her back softly, feeling her body melt into sleep. He looked down at where he was still hard as hell. 

Yeah. This might end up a problem, he thought as he closed his own eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to see Lucas and Bobby from Cara's imagination, head on over to NeLd13's amazing fic, Worth It. https://archiveofourown.org/works/24106141/chapters/58028452 (It's definitely worth it ;) )


	20. Operation Hannah Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I've neglected what the other Islanders are doing the last few chapters....
> 
> "Care for me, care for me  
> Always said that you'd be there for me, there for me  
> Boy, you better treat me carefully, carefully, look"  
> Cardi B "Be Careful"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's three parts to this chapter.

Part I: From Priya's Instagram stories: The video starts out with a close up of Priya talking: "Helllooo my lovelies! Tonight, I am at the Intoxicants lounge here in Manchester, and I have a special treat for my followers tonight" Camera pans out to show Bobby and Emily to the side of Priya. Both enthusiastically wave, yelling out loud hellos. The music behind them is loud and pounding.

Priya pulls the camera back to just show her. "In just a moment, once the DJ Big-T plays Bobby and I's special request, we will be giving our followers something they've probably wanted to see since it showed up on the Unseen Bits from Week 2 in the Villa. Yes, it's time for a Cardi B rap battle!"

She pulls the camera back to show Bobby pumping his fist. "Yeah, and this time, I'm kicking your arse, Priya. I've been practicing for a week with Emily up in Glasgow."

"You wish you'd win, Bobby." Priya said, rolling her eyes at the camera and sticking out her tongue. "But, we also wanted to say, we're not reprising Money tonight. We have a different song for our girl, Cara. As many of you know, this has not been a great week for her." she panned the camera back out so that her, Bobby and Emily were all in the frame. "Cara, love, we love you!" Bobby shouted out with Priya and Emily joining in on the "We love you!"

The music behind them changed to the sound of wind blowing, and a church bell ringing. Priya squealed, and Emily shouted, "It's GO TIME." bringing her hand down in a ready, set, go, motion.

Priya started first, the words flowing out from her as she bobbed her body to the beat.

_"Yeah Be careful, be careful, be careful with me Yeah, look I wanna get married, like the Currys, Steph and Ayesha shit But we more like Belly, Tommy and Keisha shit Gave you TLC, you wanna creep and shit Poured out my whole heart to a piece of shit Man, I thought you would've learned your lesson 'Bout likin' pictures, not returnin' texts I guess it's fine, man, I get the message You still stutter after certain questions You keep in contact with certain exes Do you, though, trust me, nigga, it's cool, though Said that you was workin', but you're out here chasin' culo And putas, chillin' poolside, livin' two lives"_

Bobby broke in then, taking over the song, Priya panning her phone out to capture him doing the Robot dance while continuing the song.

_"But if I did decide to slide, find a nigga Fuck him, suck his dick, you would've been pissed But that's not my M.O., I'm not that type of bitch And karma for you is gon' be who you end up with Don't make me sick, nigga The only man, baby, I adore I gave you everything, what's mine is yours I want you to live your life of course But I hope you get what you dyin' for Be careful with me, do you know what you doin'? Whose feelings that you hurtin' and bruisin'? You gon' gain the whole world But is it worth the girl that you're losin'? Be careful with me Yeah, it's not a threat, it's a warnin' Be careful with me Yeah, my heart is like a package with a fragile label on it Be careful with me"_

They both brought their faces close together to the camera then to sing the next bit together.

_"Care for me, care for me Always said that you'd be there for me, there for me Boy, you better treat me carefully, carefully, look"_

Before breaking apart, Priya tossing her phone to Emily so she could continue to film, and throwing her whole body into singing and dancing the next bit of the song.

_"I was here before all of this Guess you actin' out now, you got an audience Tell me where your mind is, drop a pin, what's the coordinates? You might have a fortune, but you lose me, you still gon' be misfortunate, nigga Tell me, this love's got you this fucked up in the head You want some random bitch up in your bed? She don't even know your middle name, watch her 'cause she might steal your chain You don't want someone who loves you instead? I guess not though It's blatant disrespect, you nothin' like the nigga I met Talk to me crazy and you quick to forget You even got me trippin', you got me lookin' in the mirror different Thinkin' I'm flawed because you inconsistent Between a rock and a hard place, the mud and the dirt It's gon' hurt me to hate you, but lovin' you's worse It all stops so abrupt, we start switchin' it up Teach me to be like you so I can not give a fuck Free to mess with someone else, I wish these feelings could melt 'Cause you don't care about a thing except your mothafuckin' self You make me sick, nigga"_

When she got to the It's gon hurt me to hate you line, she made a heart shape with her hands over her chest, before pointing at the camera, Bobby popping his head in the frame to also do a heart shape, yelling over Priya's singing, "CARA!"

They let the song play out behind them as they both did goofy dances to it. As the song faded, Big-T's voice came over the mic, Emily holding up the phone and zooming in to capture him on the video too.

"That song goes out to Love Island's last season winner, Cara. You definitely deserve better. Your Love Island villa mates, both past and present are with you, girl!"

Later, Bobby and Priya posted up a picture, with them, Emily, Tim (aka Big-T) and Jake, from season 1, all throwing heart hands over their chests and captioned it, "You deserve the best!"

Part II:

From Love Island Lookers Blog:

**We don't know what's in the air lately, but it just seems like there's been a big shake up and all the prior Love Islanders are just switching all their love connections up. We have Bobby finally getting together with his Casa Amor bae, Emily, we have the explosive bomb of Hannah's book and the Gary and Cara implications, we have Cara and Lucas seen getting cozy up in Scotland, so, we can't say we were too surprised about the newest bomb to fall in our laps!**

**Are season 1's couple Erikah and Reese, who celebrated their own engagement a year ago, now on the rocks too? We ask because of the following picture sent into us by an anonymous user. And, Love Island fans! It's spicy!**

_(The picture is of Rocco, his arms on either side of Erikah's head, as she stands against a wall. They're in a club hallway, it's lit in blue bulbs. Rocco's kissing Erikah's neck in the picture, and she has her head thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted.)  
_

**Is season's 2 snake in the grass back to his old ways?? We are currently trying to get a status on Erikah and Reese, stay tuned to updates here. All we can say here at Love Island Lookers, these old islanders are giving us so much juicy drama the last week that we're not even sad that Love Island's next season has been delayed. There's no way the new season could top the drama of the prior two seasons!**

Part III:

WhatsApp conversation between Shannon and Rocco:

Rocco: It's done. Reese sent the picture into Love Island Lookers Blog. Should be up any moment now.

Shannon: Rocco, thank-you so much for helping out!

Rocco: It's not a problem. Even though I was horrible to Cara in the Villa, she was nothing but sweet to me. Have to pay the karma back somehow. Reese said he and Erikah would give an interview in a couple of days, talking about mistakes, forgiveness blah blah. It won't be quite the news draw as if they did actually break up, but the speculation the next couple of days should help.

Shannon: DEFINITELY.

Rocco: The Villa Snake is out now. Talk soon, acushla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought Rocco redeemed himself in the wedding episodes, so I wanted to include him in Operation Hannah.


	21. The Appetizer of Consequence-Edward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title for the chapter comes from the Robert Louis Stevenson quotation "Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences."
> 
> This is another Edward POV chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> "Let's take a trip down memory lane  
> (Do you remember me?)  
> The words circling in my brain  
> (And what you did to me)  
> You can treat this like another all the same  
> But don't cry like a bitch when you feel the pain"
> 
> Sick Puppies "You're Going Down"

The dinner had gone well. Hannah had fallen all over herself with the flowers and Edward's words of why he'd picked them instead of her suggestion of tulips. He'd taken her to the out of the way Greek restaurant and watched her pick at her food, like a proper lady would, while he schmoozed her with compliments about her novel. All of it was lies, but like he and Lucas had assumed, she was full of herself and believed every word. Modesty was not a word in Hannah's vocabulary. Now the meal was coming to an end, Edward finishing up his piece of baklava. Hannah had allowed herself two bites of hers, before spending the rest of the time making lingering eye contact with him and twirling her hair, pushing her lips into pouts and sultry little smiles. He'd had to remind himself more than once that this wasn't going to go the way she thought it would. He'd pushed all his anger, all of his hatred into a locked room in his mind and spent the time pretending she was someone else. After his last bite, he pushed his plate slightly to the side. Hannah was sitting across, her hands locked under her chin while she stared at him. He leaned forward, taking one of her hands gently between his.

"Hannah. This has been a fantastic evening. I could not have asked for better company." He traced his thumbnail lightly over the palm of her hand, watching her eyes dilate as a small shiver passed through her.

She used the hand Edward wasn't holding, flipping one side of her hair over her shoulder.

"It has been. Your motorbike was a revelation. I think I may want one now."

"Mmm. It's like horses but one hundred times better. I may be able to be persuaded to give you a few lessons." he winked at her, watching the blush crawl up her cheeks. She tightened her hand around his.

She giggled. "Oh, Edward, I'd be beyond lucky to have Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor giving me private motorbike lessons."

He raised her hand to his lips and slowly grazed his teeth over the back of her hand before kissing it softly.

"It's early days, but maybe the bachelor has finally met his match." he raised his eyebrows at her over her hand. She bit her lip and Edward saw her fall for it, all of it. He saw the possibilities dance in her eyes. He knew she thought enough of herself to think she'd think she was in with a chance.

She trilled his name out in a breathy exhale, "Edward, it is still early days. Why do you think that?"

He pretended to think about it for a moment.

"You're smart. You're gorgeous. You can stand on your own two feet. What's not to love about the package?" He let his eyes roam over what he could see of her.

She parted her lips, slowly licking them.

"What if we don't have chemistry, though?" she says softly.

"Oh Hannah, love, trust me, we have plenty of chemistry." he winks at her. He waves over the waiter, who is hovering a distance away, waiting. This isn't Edward's first dinner date here.

"And as soon as we pay, I propose we go see just how much...chemistry we do have." He brought her hand up again, lightly teasing his tongue over one of her fingers.

She shivered and he would win any bet he made right now that she was soaking wet. Good, all was going according to plan then.

After signing a charge slip, he stood, still holding her hand so she was forced to stand with him. He looked her up and down, from her high heeled boots, to her skinny jeans, to the cashmere sweater she was wearing.

"You're going to be cold on the back of my cycle now. Here." He picked up his jacket from the back of his chair and held it, while she slipped her arms into it. It was rather big on her, but she wrapped it around her with a sigh.

"You're such a gentleman, Edward."

"You deserve it. You deserve the world, Hannah."

"I do, don't I?" she replied with a smug grin and grabbing his hand, they left the restaurant.

After getting her safely on the back of his bike, helmet on, he climbed on and set off. Like always, piloting it through the city streets let him empty his mind. It was later so while traffic was never non-existent it was lesser enough that he could really get some good speed up. He could forget that it was Hannah clasping onto him and whooping from time to time near his ear. He willed himself to think of it just as any other time he'd had a girl on the back, heading back to his place. It mostly worked. He'd not told Hannah where they were going, she either didn't care or assumed he was taking her back to her place. As he pulled up the ramp into the multistorey car park to his building, he felt her hands tighten around him.

As he turned off the bike and took the helmet off, he looked back at her. She was taking off her helmet and smoothing her hair down, looking around with a confused look.

"Why are we here?"

"I thought you might like to see where the most eligible bachelor lives." he smiled lazily at her and she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh? Is that a line you give all the girls?" she tried for coquettish but he mainly thought she sounded insecure and stupid.

He widened his eyes in innocence. "Hannah! No. I do not normally bring just any girl back to my flat to show it to her. I do have standards. But, I can take you back to yours, if you'd like." he put just enough sneer into the last words to make it a challenge to her.

She tsked. "Now, Edward, I never said I didn't want to be here. But, like you, I also have standards. I can't just be some tawdry one night stand."

He bit back a retort about how she was fine fucking a married man in a hotel lift. He knew that would ruin it all and he'd have to report failure to Lucas.

"Hannah, you've become awfully jaded. Is that all Love Island seemed to you? Tawdry one night stands? Or has that been life for you since it ended?" he oozed sympathy. Her face relaxed and her lips quirked downwards.

"Oh Edward. It's been so tough, you can't even imagine. I know I talk about it like it's not, but it is." He watched in fascination as fat, crocodile tears oozed out of her eyes. Damn, she was good. If he had no idea who she was, he'd fall for the poor me act too.

He walked over to where she still perched on his bike.

"Hannah, love, don't cry." he said, tilting her head up with his fingers on her chin. "I promise, I have no intention of treating you like a tawdry hook-up. I admire you. I think you're gorgeous. You're bloody brilliant for turning your bad luck into an amazing turnaround."

She sniffled, smiling up at him. She slowly smiled, her tears fading as fast as they began.

"I did do that, didn't I?"

"Yes. Why would you think anyone would only want one night with you?"

She giggled and hopped off his bike.

"Alright then, Mr. Bachelor, show me this infamous flat then."

He grabbed her around the waist, lifting her and spinning her. "Hannah, you just made me a very happy man." He cringed at how over the top he was, but he knew she'd love it. If she could handle remembering anything about him at the end and if anyone would buy a manuscript from her in the future, he was sure the moment would make it onto one of her pages. The woman didn't have enough imagination to think up anything original on her own.

After putting her back on her feet, he put his arm around her waist and led her over to the carpark's elevator. After they were in and the doors closed, he leaned down, grasping her face between his hands and crashed his lips into hers. Her body melted against him as he thrust his tongue hard into her mouth. Her lips opened and she pushed her tongue back against his. He gently pushed her back against the elevator wall, not breaking the kiss, rather, he deepened it, while his fingertips lightly threaded in her hair. He finally broke the kiss, but only to take her earlobe between his teeth, before flicking his tongue on the spot behind her ear. She made an urgent sound in her throat.

Fuck, this was so easy. He purposefully had kissed her semi-badly for him. She was so desperate or had never been with an excellent kisser that she didn't even seem to notice or care. He dipped his head and kissed her softly on the lips. He leaned back then, sliding his hands down to her shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't resist doing that a moment longer. I know my timing was horrible, given our locale," he tilted his chin to indicate their being in a lift. "But, I've been staring at your lips all evening, just wanting to do that."

She was still panting a bit. After a moment and a deep inhale, and slow exhale, she smiled up at him.

"It's fine, Edward. I wanted you to kiss me too."

He grinned. Right then the lift reached his floor and the doors slid open.

"Come. Maybe I can kiss you again in a more appropriate setting?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Maybe so." she replied, trying and failing to smile mysteriously.

He led her down the hall to his flat, opening the door and letting her go ahead of him. He suddenly had a flash that he wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He wanted to be with any woman but this one. He gritted his teeth, remembering his sister sitting on his lap at six, when he was already a teenager, as he read to her from an illustrated copy of Grimm's Fairytales. Her little head bent over, looking at the pictures. He remembered the last time he had seen her, eyes unfocused, staring at a spot on the wall that was nothing. For you, he whispered in his head to the memory, pasting a smile on his face and following behind Hannah into his flat.

She was twirling around, taking everything in, from his interior designer decorated living room, to the area above his desk that he'd done himself, filled with pictures of family and friends. He'd already taken down any with Lucas in them and rearranged them to fill the holes. She drifted over towards them. She touched a finger to her lips.

"Your sister was so gorgeous. I remember being so jealous of her at first, but she was the sweetest thing ever. I still think of her."

He clenched a fist at his side, glad she was turned away from him for the moment. When his voice came out, it was smooth.

"She'd be so happy to hear you say that. She talked about you a lot, about how great you were." She had. At the beginning. Until she'd stopped talking and would just hand her phone to him, tears flowing down her cheeks to show the latest thing being posted about her. He reached her, and putting his hands on her shoulders turned around.

"But, I'm done talking about the past. To the future, right?" he said as he bent down and softly sucked her bottom lip between his. He wrapped his hand in her hair and pulled her tighter against him, his other hand sliding down into his leather jacket that she still wore so that his palm covered one of her breasts. He flitted his tongue between her lips, making this kiss softer and sweeter than the one in the elevator. Her hands clasped around his neck, as she deepened the kiss herself, her tongue thrusting inexpertly between his lips. He closed his eyes and thought of the last woman he'd had here, a tall, statuesque brunette, remembering how she moaned. He flicked a thumb over Hannah's nipple, feeling its hard little point jutting through her sweater. He released his hand from her hair, running it down her back before palming one ass cheek in it and squeezing hard. Hannah moaned a little in her throat, breaking the kiss.

"This is so, so good, Edward." she panted in his ear. Christ. The woman had no standards. This was rubbish. No wonder the pinnacle of her sexual experience was being fucked against a lift wall by a bloody crane operator.

He chuckled low against her ear, before pushing his jacket from her shoulders, so that it fell to the floor. He reached for the hem of her sweater.

"I want to see you." he said in a low growl, as he inched her sweater up. She obediently lifted her arms so he could pull it over her head. He stared down at the lacy, frilled pale pink bra she had on. Running his thumb down her chin, to her collarbone, lightly tracing a path down, stroking one nipple through the silky cloth covering it. "Beautiful." he sighed. He reached behind her and unclasping the bra, let it fall to the floor. His fingertips caressed first one nipple, then the other one, lightly stroking over them before pressing hard down on each one. Her breath was ragged.

He dipped his head and sucked one of them into his mouth. She had about the smallest tits he'd seen in forever on a woman he brought home. He sucked gently, then increasing the pressure, grazing his teeth over it before releasing it from his mouth and blowing slightly on it. He looked up at her face while doing it and saw she had her eyes closed, her throat working as she swallowed hard. He reached for the button on her jeans. He brought his arm up to brace behind her back, trailing kisses up her chest, onto her neck.

"I want to see all of you." he whispered in her ear as he used a hand to push at her jeans. Her hands drifted down and helped by pushing them down too. He slid a finger underneath the matching pale pink panties, lightly teasing over her slit. He was right. She was soaked. He smiled coldly against her neck. She moaned a little as he increased the pressure of his finger when he reached her clit, pressing hard against it for a moment. Her hips rocked against his finger as he circled it slowly over her clit, before sliding one of his fingers into her pussy, his other one continuing to stroke her, changing the circle motion to a more up and down motion. He hooked his finger up and rubbed it against the bundle of nerves deep inside of her, while caressing her clit in quicker movements. Her movements against his fingers were jerky now, uncoordinated.

He was laying mental bets with himself whether she'd orgasm or fake it. Considering what a fake she was in most things, he was pretty divided on it. He definitely wasn't going to be putting his tongue anywhere near her. He had to set some kind of boundary to what he was doing. Christ, he was so fucking repulsed and bored at the same time. He was glad he wasn't going to actually be fucking her tonight, he didn't know what he'd have to do to get it up and keep it up. Waiting gave him time to distance himself from who it was, to try to pretend it was someone, anyone else.

His bored mind wandering was interrupted by her clutching at his shoulders, a whine coming through her teeth, alternating between her panting out his name, alternated with "Oh, oh, oh YES". He felt her pussy start to tighten around his finger, he shoved a second one into her and sped up his fingers. She threw her head back and let out a long wail that was the exact opposite of sexy.

"Oh, oh, I'm cooooming" she screamed as her hips bucked against his hand. Her pussy tightened even more. Edward slid his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone and swiping the camera open. He angled the phone up so that his fingers in her pussy, her panties pushed to the side were in the frame, but so were her naked tits and the bottom half of her face. He clicked the side button a few times, to ensure he had a good shot, before palming the phone at his side again. He could tell by the spasms around his fingers that she was in the middle of an actual orgasm. Good thing he hadn't made that bet to himself, he thought with a quick grin. Once she calmed down a bit, he slowed his fingers down so that they were just lightly stroking before he pulled them out. She was leaning heavily against his arm behind her.

He brought his fingers up to her mouth, while her eyes were still closed and she was floating on the high of the orgasm.

"Suck my fingers clean, taste how gorgeous you are when you cum, sweetheart." he whispered. Her mouth obediently parted and he slid his fingers into her mouth, raising his phone and taking a couple more shots of her mouth greedily closing around his fingers as she sucked on them. He slid the phone back into his pocket then.

He slowly pulled his fingers out of her mouth, before wrapping that arm around her too, leaning his head in the crook of her neck.

"God, Hannah, I'm so sorry. I don't know what overcame me. I just wanted to feel you so badly around my fingers. That was amazing, but let's leave it at that for tonight, okay, darling? Stay the night? I promise, nothing more will happen tonight." he mumbled against her neck.

She brought her hands up, stroking them through his hair.

"You're forgiven, Edward. That was the perfect ending to a perfect date. If I stay, will you be my big spoon?" her voice was breathy and simpering at the same time.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." he said as he straightened up, taking her hand and helping her step from where her jeans were pooled around her ankles and leading her towards his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all feedback welcome <3 Thanks for staying with me through all the chapters!
> 
> Sorry for delays, between the new fic and being sick the last few days with allergies/migraine/something, it slowed me down.


	22. Special Guest Appearance by....NAN....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No fic that has Gary as a major part in it could be complete without an appearance by the legend herself, NAN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried writing this chapter like three different times, thinking it was a Cara chapter. I should have known better, that Nan herself would want to talk LOL
> 
> She informed me she needed no song lyrics to introduce her. 
> 
> She also wanted me to let you all know that she may be Nan but she sure as fuck doesn't knit.

"No, Gladys, I can't tell you what is going on with that boy and his wife. Even if I could tell you, why the hell do you think I would?" I shouted before slamming my phone down into the cradle. Gary had been at me for ages to get one of those small mobile phones, but I didn't need one of those things. They probably did actually give you brain cancer or that A.D.D. or something and in thirty years all these young idiots would be hooked up to machines to live or hooked on medication to survive. Besides, I loved my old phone. It was large and neon orange and didn't require me to squint to see the numbers to dial. I also loved that if I left the damn house, I didn't have to feel obligated to answer the phone wherever I went. 

I'd been taking phone calls now for three days from all the old bats around that knew me from the community center where we played spades on the regular, or from the local down the street that I went to three times a week for a pint or five, of an excellent stout, none of that shitty Cheeky V that Gary and his mates were all fond of. They all wanted to know the same thing, what was happening with Gary and Cara? Like there weren't more important things going on, like inflatable baby Trumps bopping about the streets of London. No, it was all about Love Island and their own personal connection to it through the "Infamous Nan" as some of the tabloids called me during the season last year and afterwards. They'd even wanted to give Gary and I our own talk show offering Nan wisdom to bloody idiots and their made-up problems. I was not having any of that though and told Gary to take that idea and shove it away up his ass. He'd told me not to answer the phone to anyone the next day. The boy probably didn't want it splashed all over "Nan says shove show up the ass" or some such nonsense. I chose to listen to him that time because by that point I was sick of all the furor around it all. I wish the boy had mentioned me just once and had done with it instead of almost making me another character on that ridiculous show.

Now, the fantastic thing that had come out of it all though, was Cara. She was a delight. I'd always wanted a granddaughter but always just been stuck with Gary and the three other ones that don't matter because their parents are too hoity-toity to associate with Gary and myself. Their mum was always full of herself even as a wee thing. She'd hold herself little tea parties and stick her pinky out like she was the bloody Queen of England. She had married some banker type and they'd quickly moved as far as they could into some manor house and she'd become insufferable. No one mentions her anymore without rolling their eyes and observing that she thought too much of herself. Probably my fault, I did it for so long that people probably think it's a part of her name. Cara and I quickly became close. She wanted to learn how to make a roast like I do and a variety of other basic dishes. I always got the sense her own mum was a bitch. I taught her and her and I would get to laughing so hard at some comment or another one of us made that it was less like teaching and learning and more like being around a close friend. She'd even come and been my spades partner a time or ten. That woman could blind nil better than anyone I'd played spades with in decades. But, I could always tell that while she was happy, she wasn't happy deep down, where it really counts. I didn't think that was Gary's fault so much, it might just have been that while they were well suited maybe she'd have been better suited with someone else. 

But, ever since this all started a few days back with that other little bitch, Hannah's book coming out, I was having to re-examine whether it may have been Gary's fault. Bless him, I tried over the years to get him to see women as something other than just some big playground he could go ape shit climbing and jumping and running about on, and I thought it'd stuck a bit but maybe not. I didn't want him to go and do what his own dad did to him and his mum when he was just a wee little lad. At least, if he had actually done it, it had been before there was yet another precious child in the picture to be hurt by all of it. 

I picked up my phone and quickly dialed his number. It rang and rang before going to his voicemail which he'd changed after the show. The new one made him sound like some ego happy asshole. I'd told him, but he'd just laughed and waved his hand and told me I just didn't realize how things were now. I knew very well how they were now, thank-you very much. The fact that I'd not been able to get ahold of him since this all began left me with that heavy sinking feeling in the gut that I always get when something horrible has happened that I really wish hadn't. It'd been the same the day Gary's mum had come to me and told me that she was now on her own. At first, I toyed with the idea that maybe he'd just needed himself a short break. It'd have made him a pussy but at least that's better than what he turned out to be.

"Gary, Gary, Gary, lad, what have you done?" I muttered to myself before using the arms of my chair to brace myself to stand up. Once I was up I could move pretty fast for an old woman, my 75 years seeming to fall off, but damn the getting out of a chair was a bitch. As I was beginning to head down the hall towards the kitchen to begin fixing my lunch, the phone began to ring. Sighing, I turned around and went to answer it. I didn't sit down so that I wouldn't have to get back up again.

"Hello." I bellowed into the phone. It did a good job to frighten off those that didn't know me. 

After a pause, in which I almost slammed the phone back down, a tiny voice spoke, "Nan? It's me, Cara." her voice sounded hoarse and tiny. My heart broke. Those four words confirmed for me that all the stuff being said and written was all true. And my boy had done it. He'd caused this gorgeous woman all this pain. I sat back down swiftly.

"I'm here, dear." my voice softened. It always did when I talked to Cara. 

Her breath hitched in once. "I'm sorry, Nan. I'm sorry I didn't call you before."

"Why? There's no need to be sorry about that. Where are you, hen?"

"I can't say. Not that I don't trust you, just I'm not entirely sure. A friend is helping me out and I'm staying at one of their friends' places."

Friend, hmm. I knew it couldn't be that Scottish lad, the gossip was all about that he'd finally gotten over the crush he'd had on Cara and was happily shacking up with some other girl from the show. Maybe it was that tall drink of water that had been her best person, that Rahim. Ah, well, it wasn't important. If she wanted me to know she'd have told me. 

"That's fine, then. So, tell me. Is it true? Did my boy do what that trollop said?"

"It's true. It's all true." her voice sounded dull to me. "I talked to him yesterday. He said, he said" her voice broke and I could hear the tears in it. She breathed in deep again and started talking, "He said it was my fault for pressuring him to marry me. He said that he'd actually not ever been that serious about me to begin with, that had he gotten the money he'd probably have taken it." 

"What? That little asshole. If he was still young enough, that'd be enough for me to break three wooden spoons over his ass! Cara, listen to me, honey. It's not your fault. He's a grown man. He could have said no or asked to delay things." I grumbled a bit more after saying that. I couldn't believe he'd done that!

"I thought he seemed hesitant when I asked. But, Nan, I was just so excited. I loved him already so much. I wanted a life with him. And now, now it's all ruined." she did start to cry softly then.

"Oh, Cara, don't cry over this. I know Gary loved you too. He probably said some of those things because he didn't want to talk about what he'd done. Like an animal caught in a trap, biting at anything near him. Now, I'm not excusing what he did and said. It's a big, huge, sloppy mess that he's created. But, don't take everything that he said to you seriously."

"What should I do, Nan?" Cara whispered.

"Honestly? Even though it's my boy, I love you like my own too. I'm going to tell you what I'd tell you if it was any other ass than Gary. Leave the jerk. He doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve your love if he's going to stick his dick in anything that walks by him and winks."

"But, we're married. Can I? Should I?"

"Look. I'm all about people trying to stay married. But, that's for normal stuff like fighting over why there's weird hairs in the shower or why someone can't put the milk cap back on. If a man cheats, they don't deserve their wife sticking with them. I want Gary to be happy. But right now? Right now, I want you to be happier than he ever will be and I want you to shove that happiness up his ass."

Cara laughed a little. 

"I love you Nan. Can we still talk? Can we still get together for spades?"

"Honey, you're mine now, Gary's just going to have to deal with that and share me. You call me any time."

Just then, I heard a deep voice asking Cara a question in the background. I couldn't capture the exact words, but the accent sparked a memory in me. 

"And Cara?"

"Yeah Nan?" she came back sounding a little breathless.

"You tell that posh boy to treat you right, or Nan will kick his ass as well as my boy, Gary's."

She giggled. 

"I should go, Nan. Thank-you. Thanks so much."

She hung up. I slowly hung up my phone and leaned my head against the back of the chair. That idiot boy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by what Lucas says on the dance floor to MC at the wedding day, if you're not marrying him.  
> Music listened to for Lucas chapters: Sons of Anarchy soundtracks.


End file.
